Porn Is Wrong
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Porn Is Wrong
Dr. James Emery White Christian Blog and Commentary
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James Emery White is the founding and senior pastor of Mecklenburg Community Church in Charlotte, NC, and a former professor of theology and culture at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, where he…
When it comes to porn, the question facing many men and women is simple: is it really wrong? Is it really that big of a deal? I mean, it’s just an image on a screen. It’s not someone I know, or someone I’m having an actual affair with, so I’m still faithful to my future (or current) wife. It’s just sexual release, like masturbation , and we all know that masturbation is not condemned in the Bible. It’s not even mentioned.
And isn’t sex a good thing, so what’s wrong in watching it happen? I’m just admiring beauty. And besides, I’m single, so what do you expect me to do with all this pent-up sexual energy? It seems like a safe release until I am married.
So is it really that big of a deal?
It is sexual sin . Jesus made it clear that when we give in to lust, it is akin to the act itself. It makes no difference whether you know the person or not; lust is not tied to relationship.
It is addictive . The ubiquitous nature of porn is new to our culture, and to human sexuality, but it is becoming increasingly clear that it is highly addictive in nature. As a result, it can not only begin to dominate a life, but can demand ever-increasing levels of exposure and ever-increasing degrees of experience to continue to stimulate.
It is degrading to women . In pornography, women are treated as objects. They are not fulfilling God’s dream for their life as His precious daughter, nor are they fulfilling His design for sexual expression and fulfillment. You are watching a woman who is being sinned against, treated in a way that is contemptible to her heavenly Father (whether she sees it or not – and the fact that many may not only adds to its tragic nature). And if you are a woman watching it for the men, it is equally degrading to them.
It leads to other sins . Studies are beginning to show that the effects of porn on men are more than temporary sexual stimulation: as they see women treated as objects, they begin to treat women that way. They become more sexually aggressive, leading to date rapes and expected “hook-ups.”
It harms your relationship with your current, or future, spouse . It is absolutely ridiculous to say that watching porn enhances a sexual life. Instead, it cheapens it. Those caught in its web testify to how porn quickly becomes a substitute for sexual intimacy with your spouse.
It desensitizes your soul . Sin of any kind desensitizes your spiritual life. Continued exposure to a sin such as pornography is like shooting novocaine into your soul. It deadens you and grieves the Holy Spirit in your life, forcing Him to withdraw His utmost filling in a way that diminishes His power and presence in your life.
It distorts sex . Nothing reduces sex to lust more than pornography. Yielding to such images is overwhelmingly addictive, like a narcotic that delivers a quick hit to the emotions or senses, but ravages you from within. It destroys real relationships, real intimacy, real sexuality.
I talk with men who are dealing with the spiritual torment and guilt of engaging in pornography while trying to rationalize it away;
I talk with men who are having to fight it as an addiction;
I talk with men who are finding it is leading them to a warped view of women;
I talk with men who are experiencing its direct path to other sins;
I talk with men who are seeing its assault on their marriage ;
I talk with men who are trying to awaken their souls from its deadening grip;
I talk with men who have distorted views of what sex is about.
I also talk to the wives of these men – I’ve seen the hurt, the betrayal, the wounding to intimacy, trust and self-esteem. And increasingly, I am having the same conversations with women who have become caught in its snare.
There is little doubt to those of us who work with people, and those who are themselves caught in its web, how pornography is destroying the sanctity of sex and the glory of marriage.
And we haven’t even broached what it is doing to the coming generation of men and women who have been exposed to it at the earliest of ages over multiple years.
Adapted from James Emery White, A Traveler’s Guide to the Kingdom (InterVarsity Press), available through Amazon .
James Emery White is the founding and senior pastor of Mecklenburg Community Church in Charlotte, N.C., and the ranked adjunctive professor of theology and culture at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, which he also served as their fourth president. His newly released book is A Traveler's Guide to the Kingdom: Journeying through the Christian Life (InterVarsity Press). To enjoy a free subscription to the Church and Culture blog, log on to www.churchandculture.org , where you can post your comments on this blog, view past blogs in our archive and read the latest church and culture news from around the world. Follow Dr. White on Twitter @JamesEmeryWhite .
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The question is not whether you’ll change; you will. Research clearly shows that everyone’s personality traits shift over the years, often for the better. But who we end up becoming and how much we like that person are more in our control than we tend to think they are.
Posted May 20, 2013
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Reviewed by Gary Drevitch
Porn is not addictive. Sex is not addictive. The ideas of porn and sex addiction are pop psychology concepts that seem to make sense, but have no legitimate scientific basis. For decades, these concepts have flourished in America, but have consistently been rejected by medicine and mental health. The media and American society have accepted that sex and porn are addictive, because it seems intuitively true: We all feel like sometimes, we might do something stupid or self-destructive when sex is involved. But this false belief is dangerous, and ultimately not helpful. Because when people buy into the belief that porn is addictive, it changes the argument, and all of a sudden, it seems like it is porn and sex that are the problems. Porn addiction becomes a label, and seems to be an explanation, when in fact, it is just meaningless words and platitudes that distract from the real issue. But sex and porn aren’t the problems. You are.
People do have a strong response to video pornography . Internet porn is very good at triggering male sexuality . The economic forces of the open market have driven modern internet porn to be very effective at triggering male sexual buttons, to get them aroused. But women actually have a stronger physiological response to porn than men and based upon this research, women should be more addicted to pornography than men. But the overwhelming majority of the stories we hear are about men. Why is this? Because one part of this issue is an attack on aspects of male sexuality, including masturbation and use of pornography, behaviors which society fears and doesn’t understand.
Porn can affect people, but it does not take them over or override their values. If someone watches porn showing something they find distasteful, it has no impact on their behavior or desires. But, if someone watches porn depicting acts that they, the watcher, are neutral about, then it does make it slightly more likely that they express interest in trying that act themselves. Take anal sex. If a porn viewer finds it disgusting, watching anal pornography isn't going to change that. But if they are neutral on it, then watching anal porn probably will slightly increase the chance that they would be willing to at least give it a try. But there is the crux of the issue: The people who gravitate toward unhealthy, violent porn are people who already have a disposition toward violence. So, the problem is not in the porn, but in those people. Regulating porn access really is going to have no impact on these people as they can (and do) find far more violent and graphic images in mainstream Hollywood films like Saw .
Here’s some often-ignored empirical science about porn: As societies have increased their access to porn, rates of sex crimes, including exhibitionism, rape and child abuse, have gone down. (See the work of Milton Diamond. ) Across the world, and in America, as men have increased ability to view Internet erotica, sex crimes go down. Believe it or not, porn is good for society . This is correlational data, but it is extremely robust, repeated research. Still, it is not a message that many people want to hear. Individuals may not like porn, but our society loves it, and benefits from it.
It is getting increasingly difficult to find men in our society who’ve never viewed pornography. But if porn were the problem – if porn were addictive — then the problems of porn would be far greater than they are. In fact, in recent studies , fewer than 1% of people report that they have had problems in their life due to difficulties controlling their sexual behaviors, including watching porn. Now, higher numbers — around 10% — report "feeling" that their sexual desires are hard to control, but it is very different to feel something vs. actually being out of control.
So, if you are part of that 1%, then what’s going on? If it isn’t the porn, then it must be you. Something about you — more than one thing, usually — has led you to be a person who makes bad decisions about sex. Now in that, you’re not alone; it is a universal truth that people tend to make poorer decisions when they’re turned on, whether it’s choosing not to wear a condom, or choosing to masturbate to porn when they shouldn’t. Call it “sex goggles,” and recognize that human sexual arousal affects our decision-making .
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