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*NSFW* Top 10 Sex Scenes in Video Games
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Shaun and Sam count down the best sex scenes in video games.
Gaming has had a long history of sex. It's time to celebrate the best sex scenes. Oh no! Nick and Craig aren't hosting! Shaun and Sam have been writing the scripts for 10 months now.
10. Hot coffee - GTA San Andreas. The Hot Coffee mod is the go to game for lists like this, but Sam likes it for different reasons. CJ makes these scenes so good. CJ doesn't take his clothes off, and has to wear tighty whiteys for the whole date. He is never afraid to speak his mind about the women.
9. Iron Bull - Dragon Age Inquisition. It's not who Sam laid, but who laid him. Technically, you don't see the sex onscreen, it is implied that Iron Bull has a sledgehammer.
8. Ghost Sexy Time - The Sims 4. Sam likes making woopie as much as the next guy, but The Sims take it to the next level! With a bit of tinkering, the player can do it with a ghost friend! Shaun and Sam don't know how it works, but it does. You may end up with a pregnant ghost.
7. Candy Kong - Donkey Kong. Sam questions Candy, as she is never banged. You put 'your monkey in her barrel', which sounds like intercourse to Shaun. Shaun thinks Candy is a hottie.
6. Aphrodite - God of War III. Better then having sex, is having sex with a goddess, and even better with Aphrodite. She is the goddess of everything sex and hotness.
5. On the Loose - Heavy Rain. You will see at least one tit if you play it right. The player has to work for it. It is like a QTE. Shaun and Sam argue about it.
4. Tribal Titties! - Far Cry 3. What separates this game from other Michael Bay games? Tribal titties! Sam killed all his girlfriends just to see it again - before being killed.
3. Rabbit Season - Shadow Warrior. What does it like rabbits? Rabbits! Giving attention to rabbits in Shadow Warrior makes one go over to the other to have sex with it. If the player interrupts, a demon rabbit will try to kill the player.
2. Ashley/Liara - Mass Effect. Sam's lover in Mass Effect is Ashley. She might be a space racist, but looks just like a female Garrus. Shaun prefers Liara. She is a good person. Her hair is her flesh, and blue breasts. Sam comments on how old she is.
1. Geralt of Rivia - Witcher III. Shaun only has sex in beds that aren't his! Geralt gets it on on top of a unicorn. Doing it on the unicorn's head makes it close to a threesome! The Witcher is sterile, so she can do it all she wants.
Sam says that the merchandise may increase the wearer's dick size.
"Merchandise does not increase penis size."
"Actually, maybe a boner. So... technically he is... right?"
The Youtube version is censored while the Rooster Teeth version is uncensored.
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Just like the movies, as video games are starting to enter the mainstream, more and more sex is being introduced in them. Back in the day, when gaming was in its infancy stages, they had nothing more than plumbers trying to jump over barrels or other weird looking creatures spitting fire. But they have come a long way now, and the closer they get to reality, the more they portray real life things like emotions, gore, and even sex. In fact, sex in a lot of games has gone beyond what is real now. With all those fantasy based storylines, sex in the gaming world offers a lot more than it ever did to nerds and anyone who wants an escape. Sex scenes are developed with such details these days and why not? It is a big part of the mainstream media. But instead of being appealing, a lot of these come off as strange and even hilarious at times, especially when they just happen of the blue.
Now as weird as these gaming sex scenes may seem, we sure do enjoy watching them when they pop out of nowhere and in some way, they do add value to the whole fun element of gaming. So if you want to spice up your gaming experience and are looking for some games with the best sex scenes , then we have got a list just for you. Be warned, the sex in these will happen when you’re least expecting it, so make sure no one’s around when you play them. Here’s the list of top steamy scenes from video games.
The main character Geralt of ‘The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt’ is one of the most promiscuous males out there in the gaming world. He is willing to have sex with pretty much anything that moves. And because of this, the opportunities to get laid keep popping up throughout the span of the game quite frequently in the most unexpected ways. One minute you know, you’re trying to make a deal with another character and the next minute you’re in a bedroom full of candles getting some steamy action with the same.
The best sex scene in this one is the part where Geralt runs into an old flame named Yennefer. The sex here is quite predictable and even normal for gaming standards. But banging on top of a stuffed unicorn is not exactly the ideal place to rekindle with an old lover. Even after knowing about his scene now, you still won’t be able o predict this one, it just hits you in the face out of nowhere.
Jason Brody, who is the main character of this game puts up a good fight with pretty much anyone who gets in his way of rescuing his friends and lives up to his badass character. His friends keep getting into deep trouble one way or the other and one of them even gets captured as sex slave by some psychopath. But in the end, it comes down to Jason to save them and he does a fairly good job, obviously, if you let him do it.
Far Cry 3 is more of a choose-your-own-adventure type game where you get to decide what Jason has to do next and every choice has an alternate consequence. One of these choices is where you get to decide whether you want to kill your friends or hook up with the leader of the Rakyat Warriors. If you ditch your crew and give in to your fantasy desires, you do get to have some insanely good sex with Citra the leader. But as soon as you give her your seed, she stabs you in the chest and leaves you bleeding. You get to learn one crucial lesson of life here: what feels good may not always be the right thing to do.
‘Silent Hill 2’ is a survival game where you get to be a man named James Sunderland who is out in an abandoned city to look for his dead wife. A psychotic character with a silly name called the pyramid head terrorizes you all along the way and is a lot scarier looking than his name. He just pops out of nowhere and does the most bizarre things to confuse and terrify the main character. In one of the parts of the game, James just walks down a corridor and get a glimpse of a room where pyramid face dry humps a bunch of dead bodies like rag dolls. Surely, one of the weirdest and the most unsettling scenes in the gaming world which entirely fits the vibe of this game. If you find this one arousing, you need a doctor.
‘ GTA: San Andreas ‘ went viral when it first came out because, in the open world view of the game, you could pretty much do anything you wanted — from getting fat to blowing up police cars to beating the hell out of random people and almost anything that distracted you from the main mission of the game. With so many things to do and so many distractions everywhere, the ones who played this one should’ve been satisfied right? Wrong! They wanted more and that’s when the coffee mod of this one came out where you, as the main character, could dry hump the ladies in different positions . The sight of this was rather haunting, to be honest.
When it comes to the overall game, ‘Ride to Hell: Retribution’ is not amongst the best out there. The game that revolves around the biker movement of the 60s has one of the worst ratings on Metacritic with an awful score of 19 out of 100. But the sex scenes in this one are beyond weird and disturbing. One scene that comes during the initial moments of the game portrays the main character beating the crap out of abusive John and then getting on with a girl in doggy style with some typical porn music playing in the background. The characters don’t really seem to be enjoying themselves; but well, it still is a decent sex scene.
Bioware games are known for their explicit sex scenes and the main character’s quest for booty from time to time, but ‘Dragon Age: Origins’ goes a little beyond compared to the others. One right move anywhere along the game can get you laid with one of your companions and pretty much with anyone depending on your race and gender in the game. One of the best parts is where you can just get on with any of your pals whenever you want, that too in full view of everyone else at the camp. Agreed that they’re all close friends but seriously, get a room, you guys or maybe a tent at least!
‘Heavy Rain’ allows you to take various different personas throughout the game while you search for the truth behind the Origami killer. Ethan Mars and Madison Paige are two characters who get on one night for some steamy action and this the kind of stuff you read in the cheesiest romantic novels. This one sure does set an example for how gaming sex scenes should actually be — simple, romantic and sexy. Through a series of button combinations, you get to direct this whole act and do whatever you prefer when it comes to your personal sexual fantasies.
Like real life, you even get to decide whether you want to stay in bed with the girl or sneak out while she sleeps. This scene deserves a lot of credit because it’s one of those few that offer interactive sex that is actually good. Apart from this scene, there are a few other sex scenes in this game one of which involves Madison doing a striptease. The game may be criticized now for its cliched serial killer plot but it still remains evergreen for its grounded yet significant sex scenes.
Just because you’re grieving the murder of your dead wife and kids does not mean that you can’t have sex with random women from time to time and that right there is Kratos’s psychology. Krato is the main character of ‘God of War ‘. He travels the world to avenge the death of his wife and kids but along the way, more often than not, he just gives in to his manly desires and walks into brothels to satisfy his needs. Don’t get him wrong, he is absolutely determined to complete the objective of his quest but the man just needs some love sometimes that can fill the loneliness in his heart. The game makes it clear that it’s easy for Kratos to get laid whenever he wants to, being the macho character that he is. From killing mythological creatures and ripping off horns of minotaurs like there’s no tomorrow to slaying women in bed, Kratos indeed is a godly figure.
Most sex scenes in ‘Vampire: The Masquerade- Bloodline’ are pretty decent and are not graphic at all compared to most other games out there. The characters make out and the screen fades to black with sounds of moaning and deep breaths in the background. But one quest of the game requires you to return the favor of some snob named Romero and if as a female you are seductive enough, you can get past the quest without doing much. All you have to do get boned on a log by a twisted guy and you’re through to the next mission.
Rockstar Games have always had something new in store for adult games lovers. This one sure has a lot of sex scenes but the one that stays with you is when your player character Franklin joins the member of paparazzi to get some dirty shots of a rising star. You run through various backyards when you finally get the view of Poppy Mitchell apathetically leaning over her table, busy on her phone while she gets boned by some random oldie. This scene is quite graphic but it gives you a glimpse of the messed up world Franklin and his psychotic friends live in.
‘ Assassin’s Creed Origin ‘ is a great game with all the time-traveling action set in ancient sunny Egypt. You also get a glimpse of the hot Cleopatra in this Ubisoft game which adds to the whole gaming experience. But what’s even more appealing is the scene where the main character Bayek has sex with his wife Aya on a high platform that overlooks the whole bright city. In between the brutal killings of the game, scenes and moments like these help you relax and enjoy the beautiful visuals of the game for a moment.
‘Wolfstein’ doesn’t seem like the kind of game that would have any sex scenes at all but even so, it manages to pull off one really well. The whole game has a very dark, retro vibe to it and the brief yet steamy sex scene kind of lightens up the mood. The main character Blazkowicz comes across a nurse named Anya and in the midst of all the world war action, the two get some of their own. They even seem quite thankful after the much-needed escape that they get from this. For gaming standards, this one has a more adorable cinematic feel to it and is no doubt the amongst the better of gaming sex scenes.
‘Dragon Age Inquisition’ is disappointing when it comes to an overall gaming experience for an average gamer, but like other Bioware games, this one has a whole lot of sex for its mature audience. Throughout the game , you get to form relationships and if you manage to choose the right responses all along, you will get to see some amazing sex scenes at the end of it all. This one did not really live up to the reputation of its previous instalments, but the sex scenes are on par with the best ones out there in the gaming world.
The initial release of ‘Fahrenheit’ that had come out for Xbox and PS2 had sex scenes cut out from it because they were considered to be inappropriate for their frontal nudity. But the uncut version did come out eventually for the PC version of the game. The game revolves around a murder mystery where the paranormal is quite a normal phenomenon and so are matrix styled action sequences. All of it is pretty impressive, so you don’t have to just play it for the sultry bits. Speaking of which, one such bit takes place between the main character Lucas and his girlfriend Tiffany. It’s almost like one of those typical Hollywood romance movie scenes where the guy plays the guitar for his girl and the music magically hypnotizes the girl into having some unforgettable sex with him.
‘Beyond Two Souls’ has a very original story and also a great performance by Ellen Page who plays the role the protagonist, Jodi. This Quantic dream creation has received a lot of mixed reviews for its u
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