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How to Masturbate If You Have a Penis: 12 Tips and Techniques
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Masturbation shouldn’t be such a touchy topic.
2. Once you've found your stroke, switch it up
6. Prostate stimulation is definitely an option, too
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Wondering how to masturbate better? If you have a penis, you may think that masturbation is pretty straightforward and doesn’t require a comprehensive guide. But this is giving very little credit to the art of masturbation and the multitude of paths you can take, regardless of specific genitalia involved.
As we spelled out in our guide on how to masturbate if you have a vagina , there’s always room to learn when it comes to how to masturbate better. Although there’s not, to be clear, a “correct” way to get yourself off, there are bound to be some masturbation techniques you haven’t tried yet. And that’s likely true no matter how long you’ve been doing it for — which could be awhile!
Studies show that, on average, regular masturbation tends to kick off in teens around the age of 12 or 13 , with some people starting much sooner (including as young children ) and others a bit later on. Being curious about your body and how to pleasure yourself isn’t just common. It’s a totally safe, natural and — not to bury the lede here — enjoyable way to explore what you like and your relationship to your own body.
Masturbation is a healthy practice and you should in no way feel ashamed for wanting to engage in it.
Everyone can benefit from some masturbation tips and guidelines to better master self-love — it’s not like you’re going to learn about this stuff in school. So let’s get started! In this article, you’ll learn all about penis masturbation techniques, how to switch up your stroke, and some of our favorite tips for reaching orgasm.
Before we get into the ins and outs of how to masturbate, let's talk about why it can be good for your health . Not only is it totally natural to masturbate, but it can also help you reduce stress, get better sleep, improve your body image, and more, according to Planned Parenthood .
We know that orgasms are great for releasing a rush of mood-boosting neurochemicals , like oxytocin, dopamine and endorphins, to the brain. But did you know that masturbating can help increase your body’s production of prolactin , a hormone that helps regulate your immune system, too? And as an added bonus, there's no chance of contracting STIs, unwanted pregnancy, or any of the other risks involved in partnered sex. So, despite it being seen as taboo or, at best, a punchline in some sex-negative corners of society, there are so many reasons why masturbating is an extremely healthy thing to do.
More than that, a solid masturbation session also helps you figure out what you like sexually and what you're comfortable with, which is why knowing how to touch yourself is a good idea regardless of whether you’re having partnered sex . The self-knowledge it brings is going to be a key component of your future sex life, and it can make you better able to communicate what you want and what you don't — which is an important part of consent . That could be one reason why embracing solo sex has been linked to a higher likelihood of having positive sexual experiences later in life.
To get things started, use your hand to find a rhythm you love. Finding your rhythm when you masturbate takes time and practice. Some people enjoy rapid strokes, some enjoy slower strokes, and others like a variety when it comes to reaching orgasm. (In general, though, you’re going to want to start out with slower strokes before building to a faster pace, if that is your intent.) There is no limit to the ways you can use your hand to explore your penis. When in doubt, stay consistent until you find what works for you.
Finding the best way to masturbate is not a one-size-fits-all thing, and what feels good today can potentially change over time. You may find, for instance, that a stroke you liked at one point makes way for something else in the future. That’s totally normal. Enjoy some variety in each masturbation session, using varied strokes or switching hands (you can try using both hands at once, too). It’s also a good idea to switch things up on occasion so that you don’t get overly accustomed to reaching orgasm in one way only; this can help keep you responsive and flexible for current or future sexual partners!
Looking for a new stroke to try? You can do things like grasp the base of your penis while, with your other hand, stimulating the super-sensitive head with your palm or fingers; more loosely grasping your penis and, with your thumb of the same hand, applying a bit more pressure to the underside of your shaft as you move up and down; or doing a twisting and pulling motion, kind of like your hand is a corkscrew. There’s a near-unlimited number of ways to experiment with strokes, so keep going until you find a handful (pun this time not intended) that work for you!
Masturbation doesn’t need to be this super fast, shameful thing you do in the dark corner of your bedroom.
Regardless of what you’ve seen on popular television shows and in movies, masturbation doesn’t need to be this super fast, shameful thing you do in the dark corner of your bedroom. It doesn’t need to be a race to finish if you don’t want it to be.
Sure, locking the door adds privacy, which can help set the mood, but what you’re doing isn’t shameful or bad. Set some time to actually enjoy the process of learning how to masturbate. Don’t rush it. Listen to your body and see what feels good for you. Find the erogenous zones that work best for you. Do you prefer stimulation at the head of the penis? The base?
Everybody is different, and every person enjoys different things. If you learn what you like, you will be more fully equipped for interpersonal sexual experiences down the road, which will help you enjoy a healthier sex life .
Need more incentive to take your time? Edging — or the practice of getting yourself close to orgasm but stopping just before you reach it, and doing this three or four times before finishing — makes for a more sensation-filled orgasm for some people. Whether you edge or simply find other ways to tease yourself, allowing yourself to drag out and savor your solo session may make its ending more satisfying.
If you’re wondering how to masturbate better, there’s a good chance lube could be missing from your life. The friction of your hand directly on your penis for a prolonged period of time is not a particularly good feeling. The right lube is important for all sex acts, from masturbation to intercourse.
When it comes to the best way to masturbate, there’s an enduring myth that lotion is a popular option for a masturbation session, but lotion is not lube. Sure, it’s easy to find around the house and is convenient, but it isn’t ideal for masturbation. Your penis is a sensitive area, and some scented lotions can actually cause irritation (which is not fun).
Always opt for lube. If you have access to or are able to buy lube, go for a water-based, unscented option. Anything with “warming” components or flavoring may also cause itching or irritation.
In some cases, getting your hands on lube may be difficult. If this is the case, there are some household options that can work. You can use 100% coconut oil or 100% aloe vera as lube (this does not include sunburn lotion with aloe vera or similar products). Vaseline can be used, too, but only when externally applied for solo sessions — for partnered sex, it can cause condoms to break, and if your partner has a vagina, it can lead to infection . In general, it’s best to make sure what you’re using is 100% pure.
You may want to explore your body even more on your quest for reaching orgasm, and that is fantastic. Don’t ignore your balls. They are very sensitive and packed with nerve endings.
Try rubbing them gently with one hand while the other maintains a stroke on your penis. You can even stop stroking altogether and just pay close attention to the balls. How much pressure you put on your sack will depend on your individual preference. Try a few different options during your next masturbation session and see what works for you.
Masturbating need not be relegated solely to the penis. Your prostate is a walnut-sized gland just inside the anus that can feel great when stimulated. Lube up and try using your fingers or a small butt plug by inserting it into the anus. (Remember: never put anything in your anus that doesn't have a flared base !) Be sure you go slowly and relax the anus before insertion. In pursuit of the P-spot, you’ll also get the benefits of stimulating the entrance to the anus itself — which has just as many nerve endings as the tip of the penis (about 4,000)!
Your prostate is a gland just inside the anus that can feel great when stimulated.
Keep in mind that anally stimulating yourself while stroking your penis may be challenging. It might be best to focus on one or the other, at least to start.
And if you aren’t open to trying prostate stimulation, that’s perfectly all right. When it comes to the best way to masturbate, it’s important to understand that everyone has personal preferences for reaching orgasm. Prostate stimulation is enjoyable for some and not for others. Deciding what to try and what to skip is totally up to you.
Common erogenous zones — places that feel really great to be touched — on someone with a penis are the penis (obviously), the scrotum, and the perineum. The perineum, often called the taint, is the nerve-packed space between the anus and the scrotum, and many people love to be touched here.
Unfortunately, given how penis-centric a lot of masturbation tips and conversations are, the perineum doesn’t get as much airtime, and antiquated (and homophobic) ideas about where you’re “supposed to” stimulate yourself can keep some people from feeling empowered enough to fully explore their body. If you choose to, though, it’s definitely worth exploring this area to see if it helps stimulate you further while reaching orgasm. And if it doesn’t, that’s okay, too! Simply move on for now and consider trying again another time. The important thing is that you don’t feel limited when trying out what feels good for you.
As far as erogenous zones on the penis go, the frenulum is a big one. It’s the bit of skin on the underside of the penis where the shaft meets the head, and it’s packed with a ton of nerve endings — so try giving it a little extra attention!
It’s also worth noting that not every erogenous zone is going to be in this region of the body; from your inner thighs, nipples and neck to your inner wrist and ears, the body is packed with erogenous zones, and they often look different on different people. Using a masturbation sesh as an opportunity to explore where else on your body brings you pleasure is a great idea (and can make for more fulfilling partnered sex later on, too).
Who said masturbation has to be stationary? Try out different positions to not only switch things up, but also to enhance your pleasure and find what works best for you. You can stand up, lie down, push your hips forward or elevate them with a pillow — really, the options are endless.
Vibrators and sex toys can be a great way to take things to a new level when you’re learning how to masturbate — and, for the record, they’re definitely not just for vaginas! You can opt for a traditional vibrator, using it to massage your balls or shaft, or you can try a masturbation sleeve for a new sensation (just be sure to use a water-based lube with these!). If you're interested in prostate stimulation, there are toys specifically for that purpose, too.
Worried about having toys that were purchased online delivered to your home, or nervous to go into one of those really old-school adult superstores off the interstate? (We can’t say we’d blame you!) A lot of pharmacies sell things like vibrators and even cock rings; you’d find them in the section where condoms and lube are sold!
A big part of masturbation, of course, isn’t just knowing how to jerk off, but figuring out what to jerk off to . Though visual aids are obviously helpful here, it’s totally possible to masturbate without porn. While porn can function as a normal, healthy and fun way to discover new things about what you’r
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