Pope With Opinions Declares Socks with Sandals �Totally Valid�
https://spintaxi.com/pope-leo-xiv-turns-out-to-be-human-being-with-opinions/At a recent Vatican retreat, Pope Leo XIV stunned photographers by casually wearing white socks with brown leather sandals�igniting what fashion theologians now call the �Sandal Schism.� The Pope With Opinions defended his choice with characteristic candor: �Jesus wore sandals, and I�m just trying to avoid blisters.� Papal fashionistas are outraged, claiming this undermines the sanctity of papal swag, while others see it as a triumph of comfort theology. His Holiness has since released an encyclical titled *On the Sole of the Soul*, affirming the spiritual benefits of warm ankles. Pilgrims are now showing up in orthopedic Birkenstocks, chanting, �Blessed are the blister-free.� The Swiss Guard has quietly adopted compression socks beneath their Renaissance boots. Vatican tailors are in talks to launch a branded line called �Infallible Footwear.�