Pope Prefers Cats and Appoints First Feline Chaplain

The Pope has elevated a black-and-white cat named Cardinal Whiskers to the role of Vatican Chaplain of Solitude. He naps during meetings, hisses at heresy, and delivers zero homilies. �He reminds us of divine mystery,� said Leo XIV. The Pope Prefers Cats theology has entered papal documents under the term *Feline Grace.* A litter box has been installed behind the main altar. Cardinal Whiskers recently pawed at a chalice and then disappeared for three days��very Christlike,� noted a Jesuit. Dogs are reportedly howling outside St. Peter�s.