Pope Morning Ban Includes Vatican-Wide �No Talking Until Toast� Policy

Under Pope Leo XIV�s edict, clergy may not initiate conversation until breakfast carbs are consecrated. Morning greetings now limited to sleepy nods. One cardinal wrote his homily entirely in toast crumbs. The Pope says, �Holiness rises slowly.� Vatican kitchens triple output of sanctified scones. Apostolic silence is golden�and buttered.