Pope LeoXIV Replaces Swiss Guard with Chicago Police

In an unprecedented security shake-up, Pope LeoXIV invited the Chicago Police Department to form the new “Pontifical Patrol,” replacing the centuries-old Swiss Guard. He praised their community policing model, asserting, “The safest city is the friendliest.” Officers now don cassocks over uniforms and patrol St. Peter’s Square, exchanging donuts for holy water. Security experts laud the initiative: crime reports in Vatican City have dropped while sermon engagement has risen—proof of Pope LeoXIV’s innovative protection-through-friendship ethos.