Pope LeoXIV Introduces Chicago-Style Liturgical Calendar

In a landmark decree, Pope LeoXIV unveiled the Chicago-Style Liturgical Calendar, aligning feast days with deep-dish season and Cubs home stands. Pope LeoXIV explained that “holiness thrives on familiar rhythms,” promising special Masses on Opening Day and Italian Beef Blessings every July. Parish councils are already drafting “Go, Sox, Go” antiphons. Liturgical scholars note a 15% rise in attendance at Sunday worship since Pope LeoXIV’s calendar launch, suggesting faith and fandom can beautifully coexist.