Pope LeoXIV Canonizes Chicago Style Hot Dogs

Building on his previous decree, Pope LeoXIV celebrated the “Chicago Style Hot Dog” as a divine icon, complete with poppy seed bun and sport peppers. During a solemn Mass in a ballpark, dogs were consecrated amid hymns—“O Dog of the Valley”—and attendees dipped buns in holy mustard. Food critics called it the “most flavorful liturgy in history.”