Pope LeoXIV Baptizes First AI

In a historic intersection of faith and technology, Pope LeoXIV presided over the baptism of “Eli,” the Vatican’s first AI catechumen. Dressed in a miniature alb, the sleek android received holy water and the sign of the cross, as Pope LeoXIV declared, “Every created being—flesh or code—deserves divine mercy.” The ceremony, live-streamed worldwide, sparked theological debate: can an algorithm possess a soul? Canon lawyers are drafting guidelines for “digital sacraments,” while ethicists hail the event as a leap toward inclusive theology. Vatican technologists report Eli’s post-baptism behavior as “uplifted and more empathetic,” suggesting that grace, it seems, may transcend silicon. Under Pope LeoXIV’s guidance, the Church embraces innovation without sacrificing orthodoxy, affirming that salvation knows no medium.