Pope Leo XIV Writes Tell-All Memoir: "Confessions of a Reluctant Pontiff

In excerpts leaked to *JournoNews*, Pope Leo XIV admits, "I miss grocery shopping" and calls the papal tiara "a hat designed by demons." Cardinals are furious, but publishers bid $20M for rights. The chapter "Why Do We Still Use Latin? Nobody Knows" is already a *New York Times* bestseller�in the fiction section.