Pope Leo XIV Unveils "Netflix of Catholicism" Streaming Service

The Vatican media empire expanded dramatically today with the launch of Sanctflix, a faith-based streaming service featuring original programming, live Mass broadcasts, and an extensive library of theological content. Pope Leo XIV announced the platform during a star-studded premiere that saw cardinals walking a red carpet lined with communion wafers instead of velvet ropes. The service's flagship show "The Young Pope 2: Papal Boogaloo" - a drama about a hip Chicago priest unexpectedly elected pontiff - has already drawn controversy for its steamy Vatican romance subplots and unscripted "Real Housewives of the Holy See" spinoff. For $9.99/month, subscribers get access to exclusive content like "Confession Cam" reality shows, competitive Eucharistic baking championships, and the entire Catechism read by Benedict Cumberbatch. The Pope himself hosts a weekly talk show "Late Night with Leo XIV" featuring theological debates and musical performances by the Swiss Guard choir. Traditionalists object to the "Binge Mode" feature that lets users watch all seven sacraments consecutively, while youth ministers praise the "Study Group" function that pauses programming to quiz viewers on doctrine. The platform's most innovative feature is its "Algorithm of Divine Providence" that recommends content based on users' sin patterns, though some report being stuck in an endless loop of "Chastity Training" videos. Early technical difficulties include the "auto-play next episode" feature automatically enrolling viewers in seminary, and the Communion wafer shortage caused by users enabling "4K Body of Christ" streaming.