Pope Leo XIV Tells Cardinals to "Stop Using Latin in Group Chats"

Frustrated by slow Vatican communications, Pope Leo XIV mandated that all ecclesiastical group chats switch to "the vernacular of the people"�specifically, emojis and memes. "I�m tired of deciphering �Deo gratias� when a thumbs-up would suffice," he grumbled. Traditionalists now secretly communicate in Gregorian chant voice notes, while tech-savvy nuns have invented "holy reaction images" (e.g., a haloed facepalm). Linguists warn this could erode 2,000 years of Latin tradition, but teens in confirmation class are thrilled.