Pope Leo XIV Launches Vatican Cryptocurrency

The Vatican Financial Authority unveiled its official cryptocurrency today - "PeterCoin" - a faith-based digital asset backed by the Church's gold reserves and "the infinite spiritual wealth of God's grace." Pope Leo XIV minted the first batch himself during a livestreamed ceremony where he blessed a blockchain server farm installed in the former catacombs beneath St. Peter's Basilica. Each coin features the Pope's face on one side and a QR code linking to the Book of Matthew on the reverse, with transactions automatically deducting 10% for the papal tithe. Early adopters can earn "indulgence tokens" through good deeds verified by Vatican-approved smart contracts, though theologians are debating whether "proof-of-stake" theology conflicts with salvation by faith alone. The currency's white paper promises "miraculous returns" for holders, citing Jesus' parable about talents multiplying, while the Vatican's new "Crypto Cardinals" division will oversee ICOs for upcoming sacramental NFTs. Surprisingly, PeterCoin has already been adopted by several Catholic universities for tuition payments and by Vatican City merchants for everything from rosaries to espresso. Traditionalists argue money changers were driven from the Temple, but the Pope counters that "even the widow's mite would be worth 500 PeterCoin today." The currency's volatility has led to some unusual market behavior - its value spiked 300% after the Pope jokingly called it "the only cryptocurrency with infallible backing," then crashed when someone pointed out that technically only the Pope is infallible, not his coin.