Pope Leo XIV Launches "Extreme Sacristy Makeover" Competition

The Vatican unveiled its most intense home improvement show yet where teams compete to transform chaotic sacristies into perfectly organized liturgical command centers in just one day. Pope Leo XIV kicked off the premiere by demonstrating how to properly fold a chasuble while riding a hoverboard through the Vatican museums. Each episode features dramatic reveals of sacristy makeovers complete with high-tech additions like RFID-tagged vestment trackers, automatic holy water dispensers, and the controversial "Confession Cam" that lets priests monitor approaching penitents. Traditionalists are scandalized by the "Pimp My Sacristy" approach, while practical clergy praise innovations like the "Emergency Alb Repair Station" and "Lost Chalice GPS Locator." Production challenges include explaining to elderly sacristans why their 40-year-old collection of mismatched candle holders can't stay and preventing teams from adding unnecessary tech like holographic saint assistants. The season finale will attempt the impossible: reorganizing the Sistine Chapel sacristy during an actual papal Mass, with Pope Leo XIV providing live commentary via wireless earpiece. Early teasers show dramatic moments like a team accidentally consecrating a power drill and heated debates about whether mini-fridges belong in vesting areas. The winning team receives a golden thurible and their design will be implemented in churches worldwide - though rumors suggest the Pope just wants an excuse to install a espresso machine in every sacristy.