Pope Leo XIV Launches "Extreme Monastic Makeover" Reality Series

The Vatican unveiled its most ambitious renovation show yet where teams of builder-priests and tech-savvy nuns race against the clock to transform aging monasteries into modern spiritual hubs. Pope Leo XIV kicked off production by personally installing solar panels on a Carthusian hermitage while joking "Even the Desert Fathers need good WiFi." Each episode features dramatic reveals of sacred spaces now boasting voice-activated chant systems, motion-sensor holy water fonts, and the controversial "EZ-Habit" stain-resistant vestments. Traditionalists are scandalized by the "Confession Booth Renovation Roulette" where priests must hear confessions in increasingly bizarre locations (last episode featured a converted food truck), while young religious praise practical upgrades like the "Emergency Rosary Repair Station." Production challenges include explaining to elderly monks why their stone walls need "open concept" treatment and preventing designers from adding unnecessary amenities like cloister hot tubs. The season finale will attempt the impossible: giving St. Peter's Basilica a makeover during a papal audience, with Pope Leo XIV providing live commentary via wireless mic hidden in his zucchetto. Early teasers show dramatic moments like a nun accidentally consecrating a power tool and heated debates about beanbag chairs in chapter rooms. The winning team earns the "Golden Hammer" trophy and a year's supply of sacramental wine - though rumors suggest the Pope just wants an excuse to install a zip line from the dome to the Vatican gardens.