Pope Leo XIV Installs "L" Train Stop at Vatican

The pontiff shocked commuters worldwide by unveiling a perfect replica of a Chicago "L" train platform in St. Peter's Square. "I miss the sounds of home," explained Leo XIV, who now takes daily "nostalgia rides" around the Vatican gardens. Engineers are baffled by the fully functional train system that somehow connects to no other tracks. Tourists can now purchase "Papal Transit Passes" good for one ride and a plenary indulgence. Traditionalists argue that "Peter never needed a Ventra card," but Chicago transplants in Rome are reportedly weeping with joy.