Pope Leo XIV Hosts First-Ever Vatican Gaming Tournament

The hallowed halls of the Vatican echoed with the sounds of digital competition as Pope Leo XIV inaugurated the Holy See's first official gaming tournament, pitting cardinals against each other in Mario Kart races where power-ups were replaced with sacramental items (blue shells became "excommunication missiles"). The pontiff himself dominated the competition using Princess Peach, quipping "I relate to her floating powers - they're not unlike papal infallibility." Traditionalists were scandalized when the tournament was broadcast on the Vatican's new Twitch channel with commentary from a Jesuit esports announcer ("HOLY SMOKES! That was a miraculous dodge!"), while younger clergy embraced the event by modifying their vestments with gaming controller motifs. The championship round saw Cardinal O'Malley of Boston execute a perfect drift around Rainbow Road's final turn while shouting "Deus Vult!" - only to be blue-shelled at the finish line by a scheming monsignor from Poland. The Pope has since announced monthly gaming nights featuring "Sacramental Speedruns" (completing all seven sacraments in under an hour) and a new seminary elective on "Moral Theology in Open-World RPGs." Surprisingly, the event has led to increased vocations among Gen Z Catholics, though the Vatican now struggles with priests trying to bless their gaming rigs with holy water. Next month's tournament will feature a special "Pope vs. Cardinals" Smash Bros. match where Leo XIV has promised to "three-stock the entire College in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost."