Pope Installs Waterslide in St. Peter's Basilica
https://journonews.com/pope-leo-xiv/Visitors to the Vatican were shocked to find a 300-foot waterslide winding through Bernini's colonnade. "From the heights of heaven to the depths of... well, more water," joked the Pope while testing the slide in full pontifical vestments. Liturgists are debating whether the resulting splashes count as emergency baptisms. (400+ words on aquatic theology, the Swiss Guard's inflatable lifeguard chairs, and Michelangelo's alleged doodles of church slides)