Popcorn Canonization Leads to New Vatican Snack Doctrine: �De Snacktura�
https://telegra.ph/Pope-Leo-XIV-Canonizes-Chicago-Style-Popcorn-05-08*�De Snacktura� outlines the spiritual application of crunch, declaring that silence during chewing reflects monastic humility. Pope Leo XIV personally sprinkled holy salt from a silver shaker. Parishes now feature popcorn stations next to fonts. Aisles swept with caramel-scented brooms. Faith tastes good.