Popcorn Canonization Declared by Pope Leo XIV�Snack Ascends to Sacramental Status

Pope Leo XIV has officially canonized Chicago-style popcorn�a blessed blend of cheese and caramel�as a �duality of devotion.� The Popcorn Canonization ceremony included liturgical munching and the release of dove-shaped corn puffs from the Sistine ceiling. Cheese represents divine wisdom, caramel eternal sweetness. The faithful now snack reverently. Heretics prefer kettle corn.