Pooping In Spandex

Pooping In Spandex
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cancelled podcast Meghan "Pissed Off The Queen" Markle: Part One
Meghan "Pissed Off The Queen" Markle: Part One
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As Harper Lee once said, “You never really know a person, until they’ve told you the story of the time they pooed their pants in public.”
Technically that’s not what Lee said, but it’s certainly what she meant.
Sh*tting one’s pants is the ultimate war story, passed down from generation to generation, with details of sounds, smells and facial expressions imperative to the narrative.
I collected my three favourite pooping pants stories as a gift to women everywhere. Even though we know exactly how each will end, we can’t help but wonder: How? When? Where? And most importantly, what can I do to ensure I don’t poo my pants while wearing active wear at the airport?
“I was 22 and had met my new boyfriend, Mark, through a mutual friend. I had fallen so hard for him and was really desperate to impress him.
About a month in, we decided to go to a music festival together and stay in his van which had a mattress in the back.
The first night was great, even though I probably drank too much. When I woke up the next morning I thought I had a dreadful hangover and felt extremely nauseous. I tried to get up to go to the bathroom, and passed out before I even stood up.
I realised this definitely was not a bad hangover. It was food poisoning. And then it began.
I vomited out the back of the car, at which point he woke up, having no idea what to do.
I felt a really intense cramp in my stomach and suddenly I had no control. I pooed in the back of my boyfriend’s van.
He could definitely hear it, and suddenly I just started cry and kept saying, ‘I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. Can you leave me alone for a bit?’
I was desperate to clean everything up, but again, I just kept vomiting and pooing and could not stop.
It was by far the worst moment of my life.
I eventually managed to clean myself up as best as I could, but we ended up having to go home… and the smell in the van. I can’t even describe it.
Five years later we’re still together, but I get really mad if he ever brings it up.”
“You have not lived, until you find yourself standing next to your girlfriend, with poo running down the leg of your very expensive tights.
We were on our way home from a trip to Vietnam and I had come down with awful food poisoning. It was instantaneous. As soon as I took a mouthful, I knew I was sick, and it lasted days.
On day two, we were flying home, and I could barely walk. We took a bus and then a taxi to the airport, and the whole time I was using every muscle in my body to make sure I didn’t sh*t myself.
I kept getting goosebumps and shaking the pain was so intense. It was a nightmare.
Anyway, we arrived at the airport and we got stuck in this super long line. Then, out of nowhere, it happened. It was… explosive. And it kept coming. I was standing there in a queue, with poo literally running down my legs.
I had to think fast, so grabbed a pair of trackies from my suitcase, and said to my partner ‘I’m just going to get changed so I’m comfortable for the flight’. Although she didn’t say much… I think she semi knew what had happened.
Changing out of my tights was so disgusting I don’t even have the words. I had wipes in my bag so did my best to clean myself up but I just felt awful. The tights then went in the bin.
That was the longest, most uncomfortable flight of my life.”
“I am lactose intolerant, but eat lactose as though I am not.
Anyway, I went out to a cafe for brunch with a few friends and ordered the bircher muesli and a milkshake.
I didn’t feel great after, but just ignored it. That’s until I got into the car.
I had to stop on the way home at a supermarket, desperately searching for a toilet. But then it subsided. I decided I would be fine.
I jumped back into the car and it was only a 10 minute drive until I was home. That’s when my stomach started to grumble again, and there was no turning back.
When I got a red light, I started to panic. This was an emergency. I clenched and hoped and wished and prayed, but none of it worked.
Right there in the driver’s seat of my Toyota Corolla, I pooed my pants.
And still, to this day, I eat lactose.”

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It's okay ladies we all have our accidents, and if the guy really loves you he will understand.

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9/4/18

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A woman was caught “going for a poo” in a driveway in broad daylight on a Sunday morning.
CCTV cameras caught the woman, dressed in torn black jeans, black pumps and a khaki jacket, walking toward a back garden moments before human poop was found in a driveway in Cheltenham, England.
Students Hannah Lawton, 21, and Harris Stovell, 20, noticed the woman walk into their driveway at 8:20 a.m. and became suspicious about what she was doing.
When they opened the front door, they made a sickening discovery.
Lawton said: “When me and my boyfriend got up, we looked at the CCTV footage and thought, who is this woman and what is she doing?”
“The woman took a look at the front door as if she was looking to get into the back garden, then she went around the back for a couple of minutes.”
“We went outside to see what she may have been up to and when we opened the door, the smell hit us. ”
She added: “I mean, the flies that were on it, there were loads of them.”
“The other thing is the size of it, it was huge.”
“They must have been keeping that in for days.”
The couple were astonished that the woman was so brazen — and had even brought toilet paper with her.
“I had to supervise my boyfriend getting rid of it and he put it in the composter but you could hear him gagging.”
“But there was no way that I could bring myself to do it and we did not have any other way of disposing of it either.”
The police were informed as Lawton and her boyfriend were concerned about someone coming onto their property.
She said: “I did not know whether to laugh, cry or be angry.”
“The neighbors were walking past and I didn’t want them to think it was us.”
“The police have been called and the officer said that they had never heard of this sort of thing happening before and it was a first for them.”

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Hot Leggings & Spandex Pants are among the hottest athletic gears of this decade. Celebrities, professional athletes, and even fashion designers flaunt them everywhere they go. The factors below are among the points that make these pants trendy and highly acceptable in today’s fashion world:
• They permit full mobility when you wear them.
The manufacturing of leggings has undergone series of evolutions. The early versions of pants were made using one or two colors, but printed pants soon flooded the market at a later time featuring multiple colors. Then, many women included it in their sportswear. They have chic and colorful looks for big booties and also feature flattering materials that further contour all over the body of the wearer. Also, the pants feature materials that provide improved breathability, supports, and lifting of the body. Latest trends
The original purpose of making the spandex pants for bigger booty was for yoga activities or to be used in gyms. But things have changed a great deal these days, and they are now being used for non-gym purposes. They look too hot and trendy to be ignored or limited to the gym. These days, women can add the pants to virtually any outwears. The newest design has successfully fused the big booties with the beautiful; print of the leggings. Women looking for the perfect outfit for a night on the town to show off that big booty and amazing sexy yoga pants can always opt for it. In times past, tight see through leggings looked frumpy and easy to stretch. These days, they come with stylish, sexy and hyper-modern designs that can be used beyond the gym, making girls in yoga look even more appealing. The pants worn at the gyms and as street era made a liberated and bold statement on the women that wear them. It also indicates that the wearer will not settle for any unfashionable outfit.
These tight camel toe give an air of sophistication around the wearer, while still feeling very comfortable. They tend to flatter all manners of physics and still make the individual look great and beautiful. They are the best for any fashion-smart individual, and they have completely replaced the traditional leggings. In fact, many call them the new leggings. The pants trend is available to anyone, even those who cannot think of the Downward-Dog pose.
Girls love pants. The truth is that men find girls in sexy leggings attractive. If you do not mind all male eyes riveting on you as you walk by, then you can go for pants and give the male eyes something to feed on. What does pants tell men about you? Check the points below:
• Sign of confidence: When you put on pants you are simply telling men that you are the confident female. Confidence is one of the traits men love in women. They find your confidence and bold swagger tantalizing and irresistible. Wearing pants also confers a knowing area about you and makes you hot like none other, especially if you have the right curves in the right places. Spandex leggings tell and show them your sexuality, but do not show them all, and they are captured with the desire to see more than you are showing them.
• Comfortable: Putting on yoga pants for women also gives men around you the idea that you are comfortable in your skin, which will further fire them on to come for you. Being comfortable in your pants also indicates that you have no nerve, fear or anxiety about the pants hugging your body, which can further ignite their interests.
• The shapeliness: The shapeliness of the pants is another factor that makes it fashionable. A shapely pair of high waisted pants sends out a thousand messages. This is one of the best ways to accentuate your bottom and hips. A woman trying to seduce a man only needs to go for a pair of yoga pants. Men just cannot take their eyes away from the way pants look on the female body.
give an impression that they are the types that love to work and get busy. The pants confer a look of readiness and eagerness on you. It indicates immovability and readiness to get busy. Men love women that know the value of hard work on your sweaty big booty , which is the impression they have about you when they see you in moisture wicking pants. It tells them you are not lazy, and most men find such women very exciting. They may even give you a gift card for your hard work.
Choosing the best yoga pants is as important as carrying out yoga moves. Bear in mind that pants are not restricted to the gyms anymore; they have now become street wears also. It is imperative to choose top quality pants, as well as top quality yoga shorts via which you can make unique fashion statements and make heads turn as you walk about the neighborhood. There isn’t a hard and fast rule when choosing the best pants that can make a fashionable statement. They’ll also make your time at the gym a fruitful one. Be that as it may, you need to consider the points below to get top quality pants & leggings:
is knitwear or cotton. The material must stretch easily to accommodate your bulk and move during special exercises. It must easily support all the movements of the body for free movement. Also, the material should be adequately soft to prevent all manners of rashes. camel toe leggings made from cotton are soft and absorb body sweat easily. Cotton pants are comfortable to wear and can fit any posture of your liking.
The type of spandex shorts you buy should also fit your body shape and size perfectly. If you plan to use the pants as street wear or gym dress, take time to test it first. Also, bear in mind the environment.
The brand of the pants can also determine the type to buy. Many brands are available today, and they bear various price tags. However, virtually all the workout pants brands available today have caught the fever of trendy pants designs. Some of the top-rated brands are:
The right material of pants improves durability, fitting and comfort. It is important for the fabric to stretch. The common materials available are:
Another material is called Luon; it is the type used by Lululemon. The material absorbs sweat and also has four-way stretch. It is soft on the skin and breathable. The fabric is equally designed not to shrink when washing it. Consequently, tight yoga pants can remain fashionable for a very long time. Compression materials are among the best since they provide support and comfort. They also help to engage the legs and core during exercises. Be that as it may, they do not give adequate breath-ability like stretch cotton blends of full cotton. The best fabric to choose is one that combines breath-ability and elasticity with support.
Conclusively, the best pants to buy should be comfortable, easy to wear and flow through.
The length of the pants is as important as any other feature already discussed. Some of the most widely adopted options include the bootcut pants. You may not feel comfortable with pants that are too long. The lapel may get stuck under your heel and make you lose your balance. Capri pants are not too long, same for legging-style pants.
Variety of pattern and colors of pants are available. You may also want to consider sweat patch when choosing a color. Sweat easily shows on poly-cotton fabrics, as well as light colored cotton; a good example of this is the heather color. The best color to conceal the sweats is the poly-cotton fabric and darker cotton fabric.
What is the Purpose of Wearing Yoga Pants?
The purpose for which you are buying the hot leggings is also very important when choosing among the many types out there. Are you looking for pants to use in the gym or you need something for fashion? You need to decide this before you buy. If you need the pants for the gym, then you should consider breath-ability and comfort offered by the pants. It should not be too tight, and it should stretch adequately so that you can move around easily in the pants. The durability of the fabric must also be considered. If you need the pants for running, for example, the right pants should not be too stretchy, but they must be thick. The thickness makes them last longer. The pants are too tight if you can see your underwear or you can barely move around in it. The pattern or color of the pants may not matter in this case.
If you are buying the pants for fashion purpose, then you need to consider the colors and patterns on them.
Hot and Sexy Leggings , aside from getting you ready for the gym and street can also confer the feeling of restfulness on you. Do not forget that pants are comfortable clothes, provided you choose the right size when buying. It does not matter if you do not apply any makeup or even fail to brush your hair; you will still look hot and sexy in a pair of pants. This will give you a look of relaxation and make you feel at peace with your environment. It will make you look like some easy-going girl that is comfortable with herself in her skin. Investing in pants may be the perfect investment. It is certain you will get top value for your money. Super Hot Gym Leggings varies in prices, but they are affordable. However, the brand can also determine how much you can end up paying for the yoga outfit pants .

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