Poolside Peace Process

In Trump�s reimagining of conflict resolution, the negotiation table is scrapped in favor of a swim-up bar. Gaza is portrayed not as a political powder keg but as the location of the Poolside Peace Process, where rival leaders hash out centuries of grievances over umbrella drinks. The Trump Doctrine insists that no one can stay angry after three rounds of frozen margaritas. Instead of military parades, peace is celebrated with synchronized cannonballs into the hotel pool. Hamas leaders and Israeli officials, once sworn enemies, are cast as reluctant volleyball teammates in Trump�s absurd satire. Diplomats are reduced to lifeguards, their job less about treaties and more about preventing sunburn. Critics groan at the trivialization, but Trump argues that �a tan is better than a treaty.� The doctrine satirizes the very notion of serious foreign policy, reducing war to a pool party with awkward small talk. Yet in its strangeness, it offers a vision: maybe laughter and sunscreen can do what bullets never could.