Playing With My Clit - Clitoral Orgasm

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Playing With My Clit - Clitoral Orgasm

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In the previous articles in this series, I’ve explained why most clitoral orgasms pale in comparison to deep vaginal orgasms.
There isn’t any problem with the clitoris itself. It’s a body part designed solely for pleasure.
The problem is with the conditioned response of touching your clit, and the side-effects of orgasms which originate from it.
What if you could enjoy intense and prolonged clitoral stimulation, and turn it into meaningful and empowering continuous states of whole body orgasm?
This is indeed possible, and once you learn it, you will be able to do it within a few days. Most women who learn it, never look back.
Go over the previous articles and make sure you understand why and how clitoral orgasms aren’t so good for you. If you recognize that and relate it to your own experiences, it will be easier for you to do it.
It’s much easier to learn this by yourself, before attempting this with another person, since you have more control over the stimulation.
So, start practicing by yourself – That’s it, I mean masturbate, although it’s better to look at it as your “self pleasuring” practice.
Get yourself comfortable; set up a “love nest” in your bed or a mattress; maybe take a long hot bath and massage your body with oil.
Build your arousal and pleasure gradually, bringing awareness, touch and sensation to your entire body, specifically to your thighs, buttocks, belly, chest, breasts, hands, arms, neck and scalp, before starting to touch your genitals. The reason is that it’s important to activate your entire body so the sexual energy doesn’t stay confined to the genital area. It’s like doing warm up exercises before yoga.
If you aren’t feeling aroused, just try to caress your body and massage your genitals. Focus on the sensations. Do this daily and notice how your body opens and becomes more sensitive, pleasurable, and orgasmic
Note that there might be a feeling of fear or anxiety coming up. This might be related to the fear of letting go and surrendering into an orgasm deeper than you ever experienced. Either keep going, or pause to witness this fear, and understand there’s nothing to be afraid of.
Learn to recognize when you are about to peak, when any further touch will bring about the orgasm. This is the “Point of no return” (P.N.R) for women. Stop stimulating before this point.
Notice if any of the following happens:
Your breath is becoming shallow and constricted;
Your muscles are tensed;
Your whole attention is focused on your genital area;
Your movements are becoming mechanical;
Your genital area is charged in a “sharp” or “heavy” way;
You feel a sense of urgency.
This might mean that you are very close to the point of no return.
Pause, relax, breathe deeply and exhale long and slow, and do some of the techniques I mention below.
If your clit suddenly becomes hyper-sensitive and unpleasant to touch, or if you suddenly lose interest in what you’re doing, you probably had a clitoral orgasm.
That’s OK.
Arouse yourself again, this time stopping well ahead of that point.
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While you are building up, and as you are getting closer to the P.N.R, do the following:
Finger tracing – Move your finger from your clitoris, down and into your vagina, curling up your finger upwards, towards your pubic bone, and pressing there. This moves the pleasure and sexual energy away from your clitoris and into your vagina, bringing awareness, sensation, and later, pleasure. It’s also a great way to awaken and activate your G-spot.
Visualization – Visualize a stream of light, or heat, or energy, following the path that your finger laid, into your vagina. Later, you can also visualize this energy going up your spine, and emanating from the top of your head.
Affirmation – Say to yourself, out loud or internally, something like “My sexual energy is flowing into my vagina”, or “My whole body is orgasmic”. Consider writing it down and sticking it on your laptop, mirror, or fridge.
Breath and Sound – Keep breathing fully into your belly, focusing on the exhale and making a long “Ahhhh” sound as you breathe out.
Spread it – Keep caressing your entire body, and consciously move your hands from your genital area towards other parts of your body, specifically to your upper body. Imagine you are spreading and moving your sexual energy as if it’s a lump of butter that you are spreading over a toast.
Touch-It-All – Explore different kinds of touch, all over your body – caress, pull, squeeze, twist, pinch, press, stroke, fondle, brush, knead, massage and slap.
Squeeze – While stimulating your clit, and/or during the pauses, contract and relax your vaginal muscles in rhythmic repetitions. This brings awareness and sensation into your vagina, and helps you move the sexual energy up your spine. Experiment with different kinds of squeezes – short, long, pulling in, squeezing tightly, pushing out.
Some women “push-out” their vaginal muscles, which causes an explosive orgasm, or just a loss of energy. Similar effects to clitoral orgasms are experienced.
Some level of alternately pushing-out and pulling-in is pleasurable and beneficial, but it is important that women do not push out too much and lose their orgasm in this way.
Hip action – Allow your hips to undulate back and forth, side to side, and in circles. Let this movement expand to your spine, shoulders, head, and your entire body.
Whole body movement – It’s important to allow your whole body to move, twist, and undulate. It allows the sexual energy to spread into your entire body, and also builds sexual energy and pleasure.
The Pause – Every few minutes, pause completely, relax your breath and your body, and stop any movement. Allow the arousal to decrease before continuing.
Internal awareness – Focus your awareness inside your vagina, being aware of warmth, tingling, vibrating, pulsating, throbbing, or any other sensation, even if it’s numbness. Do this continuously, and specifically when you do “The Pause”.
Scheduled Breaks – Every 10-20 minutes of “practice”, pause and rest for a few minutes, to allow the energy to disperse. Maybe even stand up and go to the bathroom to wash your face with cold water.
Internalize it – One of the best ways to move sexual energy into your vagina is by applying internal stimulation using a dildo, or if you don’t have one, consider a cucumber, carrot or zukini. Try applying both clitoral and internal stimulation in the same time, while keeping your focus inside.
Gradually, apply more internal stimulation, and less external stimulation, until you are hardly touching your clit.
Yoga – I know it sounds weird, but if, during one of the pauses, you do one of the reversed positions of yoga, that would help your sexual energy move away from your genitals, and into your upper body. Specifically perform shoulder stand, hand stand, plow, and head stand. Keep it for 3-8 minutes or so. Make sure you receive guidance from a competent yoga teacher.
After doing this for half an hour or more, you might have an internal orgasm, or you might realize that you are already experiencing a mild state of continuous orgasm, which you can feel even after you stop touching yourself.
That’s another reason it’s important to pause and witness every 10-20 minutes.
Try to do at least half hour of this practice every day, without reaching a clitoral orgasm by yourself or with your lover. The idea is to build enough energy that it starts emanating into your whole body, and later, into your life.
After a few days or at most weeks of practice, you will be able to receive more and more clitoral stimulation, and be able to transform it into prolonged internal or whole body orgasms.
After practicing by yourself for a few days, it’s time to enjoy that with your lover.
Clarity – Explain to your lover that you don’t want to have a clitoral orgasm. Maybe send him a link to this article so he or she understands. Most people, women and men, aren’t aware of the negative side effects of clitoral orgasms, and the possibility for hours-long orgasmic states.
Communication – Make sure you communicate to your lover that your arousal is increasing and that you are close to peaking, so he slows down, and also so he learns to recognize by himself when you are getting close to the P.N.R.
Cunnilicious … – Experiment with Oral sex but be careful not to have a clitoral orgasm.
Go fingure it – Have your lover put his fingers inside you. Experiment with different fingers of both hands, and if you are aroused enough, with more fingers.
Vaginal massage – Also called Yoni massage (Sanskrit for sacred flower or sacred space) – This is a great way to move energy away from your clitoris, to arouse and activate all areas of your genitals, as well as connecting you to your feminine essence. Subscribe to the pleasure list (below) for specific articles about this beautiful art and practice.
No grinding! – In penetrative sex, don’t grind him, and make sure there isn’t too much clitoral stimulation. So many women need, or rather, believe that they need, intense clitoral stimulation in order to orgasm.
Be careful from the positions of “woman on top leaning forward” and “man on top leaning forward”, both of which causes your pubic bones to rub against each other and thus create increased clitoral stimulation.
He can help – There are also some specific things that your lover can do to help you turn clitoral stimulation into internal orgasms – I’ll write about it if enough people ask.
To conclude, you might be used to having quick&easy clitoral orgasms, and you believe that’s all there is to it.
Give it a try, experiment for a few weeks with what I suggest, and let me know how you’re doing via the contact form.
I personally respond to every email.
Subscribe to the mailing list (below) to receive a weekly update of my latest orgasmic field guides.
How is this working for you?
Are there more techniques that you use to internalize your orgasms?
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I started doing this at a very early age, (9 or 10), and while I eventually conclude with an explosive orgasm, the time I spend at the edge is ecstatic and so fulfilling. I am lately exploring more internal stimulation and edge riding without touching my clit, though I find it difficult to go over the edge without including stimulation to the clitoris.
Thank you for this enlightening website. I look forward to your book.
I´ve been trying this for a few days now and it´s making me crazy! I know that I´m a beginner, but it´s taking a lot of time and effort to reach vaginal orgasm. It also feels very limiting as I have only found one specific way it will work, so I have to do everything exactly like that every time. (& btw it´s making me quite sore.)
Also the orgasms are very weak, even on those occasions when they do last longer. I never feel really satisfied. I´m a mess of frustration & I´m having a hard time staying motivated. A clitoris orgasm would be a lovely way to help all these feelings of frustration, pain & limitation.
After years and years of clitoral addiction, plus everyone around you addicted, plus society telling you that this is the only way to do it, it’s natural that it will take some time and persistence and effort.
Don’t focus just on reaching the orgasm, but on exploring and discovering and expanding your experience.
Don’t shy away from the places that feel numb or painful. embrace both the pleasure and the pain.
Email me to schedule a short chat to discuss further. eyal@intimatepower.com
Can you please detail the ways my lover can help? I need all the help I can get 🙂
Read my post above and maybe it could help.
My wife and I were married for 17 years when she had her first vaginal orgasm. Although she thinks the peak of a clitoral orgasm is more “rushing”, she describes the vaginal orgasm as the complete and full orgasm. She even says that both are completely different altogether.
It all started with deep penetration intercourse that I felt involved my penis poking hard at her uterus and cervix and she said made her uncomfortable and did not stimulate her at all. We continued doing it for a short period when, all of a sudden, she had a huge orgasm. From then on, it became her favorite orgasm although she enjoys clitoral orgasms as well.
My advice to all the ladies is to relax and take your time. Be open to new practices and sensations. This just might be the road to a whole new area of feelings you never imagined existed.

My name is Eyal Matsliah.
I help women experience self love, deep orgasms, and overflowing creativity. Read more about my coaching journeys , or enjoy some
articles, videos and interviews here .
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by Claire Lampen Published: Feb 8, 2018
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When it comes to the clitoris, that old saying "different strokes for different folks" has never been more true.
"Clitorises are very unique! There's really not one standard type of stimulation that works for all women," says Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist and the creator of Finishing School , an online orgasm course for women. And, considering orgasms aren't even on the table for many women without some clit play, figuring out what makes you tick is pretty important. 
"In general, most women are divided into two camps: those [who] prefer direct clitoral stimulation, and those [who] prefer indirect," says Marin. To determine which brand of stimulation your body likes, she suggests starting with two different strokes: "First, try circling your clitoris with one fingertip, without directly touching it. If you want more stimulation, make your circle tighter until you start touching the clitoris itself."
Once that baseline for pleasurable touch is established, feel free to get creative. Here are six new ways to stimulate your clitoris you may not have thought of before.
It may be tempting to just zero in on the clit and start rubbing away, but that may not quite be what makes your clit tick. Try building sensation first. "If you like direct stimulation, try stroking diagonally across the surface of your clitoris," Marin suggests. If you prefer indirect, try stroking the sides of the clit and the clitoral hood rather than the clit itself. Mix it up by using two, three, even four fingers if you typically just use one. Experiment with different patterns over your go-to.
A light touch may be best, but instead of just stroking your clit, try playing around with pressure: Try squeezing the clit, gently gripping the skin on either between your thumb and pointer finger. Once you've established what degree of pressure feels good for you, try manipulating the skin by moving your hand up and down—like a tiny hand job for your clitoris.
Edging means building up to climax, but then backing off just before you reach the point of no return. When you finally do cum, the sensation is...let's just say, worth the wait.
That said, it requires practice: You need to know your body well enough to discern how close you are to orgasm and exactly how much further you can go before pulling back. Try it on your own before you do it with a partner: start slowly, and build up pleasure with light touches around your clit. Engage in meditative, yogic breathing to help pace yourself. As you feel yourself about to climax, switch from whatever rhythm's getting you there to something else: pulsing over strokes; left hand over right; one finger from two; broad circles from a diagonal. Tease yourself until you can't hold back any longer.
Sex toys are, obviously, a reliable way to get off; most readers, however, will likely be most familiar with the penetrative Rabbit-inspired models, or maybe the iconic Hitachi wand. But for couples play, it helps to incorporate something smaller.
"In most positions, you can squeeze a sex toy between your legs to get some clitoral stimulation," says Marin. "My favorite vibrator recommendation is the Minna Life Limon ($119, minnalife.com ). It uses a squeeze technology, so the harder you squeeze, the harder it vibrates. It feels more intuitive than many other vibrators."(Or check out Squish ($99, u nboundbabes.com ), Minna's collaboration with Unbound.)
Or, choose a hands-free vibrator—like Dame's Eva ($135, amazon.com )—that's designed to stay positioned on your clit during sex. For solo play, the Satisfyer Pro ($48, amazon.com ) is designed to mimic the sensation of cunnilingus using air pressure. Stimulating!
Don't want to shell out for a sex toy? Maybe reconsider some of the stuff you have just lying around the house. "A lot of women masturbate by grinding against pillows, towels, hairbrushes, or TV remotes," says Marin. In case you were feeling weird about humping your duvet cover.
Certain penis-in-vagina sex positions work better for clitoral stimulation than others— Women's Health has a whole list for your pleasure—but in general, any situation in which the clit is grinding against another body part will be more likely to yield orgasmic results. Think: rubbing up against your partner's thigh or pubic bone.
"When you're on top during intercourse, have your partner hold his thumb upright against his pelvis. You want it located directly under your clit. As you move, grind your clitoris against his thumb," Marin suggests.
 But if you prefer positions that leave your clit out in the open, like doggy style, "touch yourself!" she urges. "So few women actually do this."
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by Zahra Barnes and Jasmine Gomez Published: Sep 28, 2020
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You know how in A Midsummer Night’s Dream , Shakespeare famously wrote, “And though she be but little, she is fierce”? Yeah, that basically sums up your clit. “Research shows it’s clitoral stimulation, not vaginal stimulation, that is the powerhouse of the female orgasm,” says sex therapist Ian Kerner , PhD, author
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