Play Kink
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Play Kink
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Your sex life is about to be on fire. 🔥🔥🔥
Your skin is full of temperature receptors that tell you when an object is hot or cold, so you can protect yourself from potential harm. These receptors are helpful for, say, not burning yourself on a hot kettle, but they're all great for your sex life when you engage in temperature play.
“Temperature play includes using heat or cold in your sexual play,” says Bryony Cole, Lovehoney ’s Sextech Advisor. “The idea behind this is that variation in temperature stimulates your neuroreceptors, creating a ripple of sensations in your body.”
You can use ice cubes, freeze sex toys, drip wax on your partner and so much more when engaging in temperature play. “Temperature play can be incorporated as a form of foreplay, during sex, and it can also be used as a way to relax after sex or a scene/sexual experience,” Cole says.
To learn of all the creative ways to partake in temperature play, we spoke to Cole and Ashley Cobb , a sex blogger and educator, and sex toy matchmaker at Lovehoney . They provided ways to heat things up and cool things off in the bedroom.
“Ice can be used to massage nipples, inner thighs, neck, or under the breasts,” Cobb says. You can also place an ice chip in your mouth (or take sips from a cold glass of water) when you go down on someone; the natural heat from your mouth plus the cool from the ice can elicit a titillating response. (Be sure to use a small piece of ice so you don't run the risk of choking.)
Did you know you can put glass or stainless steel sex toys in the fridge to cool them off before playing? “Simply pop them in the fridge or dip them in a glass of ice water to allow them to absorb the coolness before pleasuring yourself or your partner with them,” Cobb says. You can also use a blindfold to take the surprising aspects of temperature play to the next level. “Blindfolds heighten senses and create anticipation,” Cobb says. “Blindfolds will have your senses on edge from not being able to see and predict where the ice is going to go next.”
“Lick ice cream off your partner’s nipples, testicles, or anywhere fun,” Cole says. If you’re not a fan of ice cream, you can use Popsicles or any delicious, frozen treat. Try running a Popsicle across your partner's skin and down their chest. Then lick up that sugary trail.
Next time you go down on a sexual partner, have a bowl of ice-cold water next to you, Cole suggests. Dip your hands in there until they're chilled. If you’re eating out someone with a vulva, use your warm tongue on their clitoris and digitally penetrate them with your cold hands. If you’re going down on someone with a penis, use your warm mouth to suck their head, and your cold hands to manually stimulate their shaft.
Try dripping warm oil onto your partner's back and giving them an erotic massage , Cole says. (Massage oils don't microwave well, so it's best to buy a massage oil warmer ; you place your bottle in the container and it warms it up for you.) An easier option is to buy a massage candle, where the flame turns the hard wax into warm, melty massage oil. You light the candle 15-30 minutes before playing, blow it out, and then you have your "oil."
“There are numerous male masturbators that heat up, like the Blowmotion Power Heat Warming Rechargeable Vibrating Male Masturbator ,” Cole says. You can use these toys solo, or with a partner. Lora DiCarlo has a line of warming plugs and vibrators, too.
This involves dripping hot wax onto naked skin. “There are massage and sex-specific candles specifically formulated to burn at lower temperatures than regular wax candles,” Cobb explains. You want to use these specific candles when having sex/engaging in wax play. (Regular candles can be too hot and can potentially burn your partner.) Gently drip some hot wax onto your partner’s back and watch them squirm with delight.
“Fire play involves fire near or directly on a person’s skin, including using candle flames near a person’s skin, wiping alcohol on the skin and lighting it, tapping the skin with a lit torch, or using a flaming whip or flogger on the skin,” Cole says. Note: Playing with fire is very dangerous, and requires taking numerous safety precautions, including having wet towels or fire extinguishers on-hand. You can find more information on safely engaging in fire play here .
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Play , within BDSM circles, is any of the wide variety of " kinky " activities. This includes both physical and mental activities, covering a wide range of intensities and levels of social acceptability. The term originated in the BDSM club and party communities, indicating the activities taking place within a scene . It has since extended to the full range of BDSM activities.
Play can take many forms. It ranges from light "getting to know you" sessions where participants discover each other's likes and dislikes to extreme, extended play between committed individuals that know each other's limits and are willing to push or be pushed at their boundaries. While physical activities are better known and more infamous, it also includes 'mental play' such as erotic hypnosis and mind games.
BDSM play is usually the primary topic of negotiation , especially for casual players and limited scenes. Most BDSM clubs and local communities offer classes and materials about negotiating play scenes. Play safety is a major topic of discussion and debate within BDSM communities.
Play is broken down into two broad categories, physical and mental. Physical play is better known and consists of the typical activities the average person thinks of as BDSM. As the BDSM scene matures and gains greater mainstream tolerance, mental play is becoming an increasingly noteworthy part of the community.
Physical BDSM encompasses all " kinky " activities that are carried out physically. Two of the best known examples are flogging and bondage. Extensive classes and workshops teach technical skills to carry out these activities competently, as well as safety considerations and protocols. This is the type of play most often seen in BDSM clubs and in media representations of kink. While often associated with sadism and masochism, many activities are not focused on or even involve pain. Non-painful sensation play and elaborate bondage done mainly for aesthetic purposes are prominent examples.
Mental BDSM is the collection of activities intended to create a psychological impact, often without a physical component. Recreational hypnosis is the most prominent example, with a well-developed international community. Another noteworthy but controversial example is the 'mind fuck', wherein a state confusion and/or psychological conflict is intentionally created. While mental 'players' have considerably less documented material to study, an active Internet community and classes offered through local groups and conventions provide many learning opportunities.
Participants in BDSM typically recognizes different types of play, based on their intensity and social acceptability. These distinctions can be rather arbitrary and variant. What is considered edge play for a particular couple or local community may be merely heavy play, or even light play, for others.
Light play consists of activities that are considered mild and/or carry little social stigma. This especially includes BDSM elements commonly practiced by "vanilla" couples . Light bondage , slapping, and casual spanking are examples of light play.
Heavy play indicates elements that are intense and/or carry substantial social stigma. The bulk of activities undertaken by BDSM participants would be considered heavy play or as bordering on heavy play. Examples of heavy play includes caning, suspension bondage, and erotic hypnosis.
Edgeplay is a term used for types of play that "push the edge." They usually involve a risk of physical or emotional harm. Breath play, knife play, gun play and blood play are all types of edge play. In males, restriction of flow of urine and semen may contribute to the development of benign prostatic hyperplasia and erectile dysfunction . [ citation needed ]
Edge play can also literally refer to playing with an edge, for example knives, swords and other implements. It is sometimes used to describe activities that challenge the boundaries of the participants.
This type of play generally falls under the umbrella of RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink).
Safety and consent in play are paramount considerations within the BDSM community. Various models of consent and negotiation are employed. Most participants consider it important to take responsibility for the safety of their partners. In addition, consent is typically what they consider to distinguish BDSM activities from abuse (or more specifically, intimate partner violence ).
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Zachary Zane
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based writer, speaker, and activist whose work focuses on lifestyle, sexuality, culture, and entertainment.
This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io
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"Blood connects us to our life force, so I think it's arguably the most intense and intimate kink out there.”
At first glance, the Instagram video of Machine Gun Kelly's proposal to Megan Fox doesn't seem particularly out of the ordinary. MGK gets down on one knee to propose, a “surprised” Fox joins him on her knees, and they embrace lovingly: a clear indicator that she said yes.
But then you get to the end of the caption under Fox's Instagram post (scroll down to read the whole thing) and you realize their proposal had one rather unique element. “And just as in every lifetime before this one, and as in every lifetime that will follow it, I said yes,” Fox wrote. “…and then we drank each other’s blood .”
If blood isn't your thing, you might be wondering...are some people actually into it? In a sexy way? While Fox’s and Kelly’s display of affection may seem unusual, blood play is actually a fairly common sexual fantasy, says Justin Lehmiller, Ph.D., researcher at the Kinsey Institute, host of the Sex and Psychology Podcast , and member of the Men's Health advisory panel.
When Lehmiller surveyed 4,175 Americans about their kinks for his book Tell Me What You Want , 17% of women and 9.5% of men said they'd had fantasies involving blood. “Interestingly, this was the one body fluid women were more likely to have fantasized about compared to men," Lehmiller says.
So why are people turned on by blood, and how are they incorporating it into their sex lives? Let's dig a little deeper.
Blood play can be very dangerous—and that's part of the allure, according to Lehmiller. Physically, it comes with the risks of transmitting blood-borne diseases and bacterial infections, scarring from cuts or needles, and—if you're drinking it— haemochromatosis, or iron overdose . Blood play can throw you for a loop mentally and emotionally, too, given how intense of an experience it can be.
"Blood can be a potent symbol that they've done (or are doing) something risky or dangerous," Lehmiller says. "For some, fear and danger increase sexual thrills. This can stem from having a higher threshold for excitement, which has a tendency to draw people to riskier activities."
Blood is our life force, yet it's something that many people fear. This contradiction also creates pathways to arousal. “For some, it may be more about blood signaling a very intense experience, such as when blood appears from contact between a person’s fingernails and their partner’s back,” Lehmiller says. “For others, it may be a symbolic way of establishing dominance or submission, or something that co-occurs with sexual pain. Blood may also hold appeal to those who are drawn to the taboo.”
Lehmiller didn’t ask specifically how people incorporated blood into their fantasies, but he did ask them to write out a narrative describing their favorite fantasy of all time—and several people mentioned blood. “Most commonly, it was in the context of some BDSM activity , such as knife play, but it also appeared in some sci-fi/fantasy scenarios, such as sex with a vampire,” he says.
While these were the most common mentions, “Other people might be drawn to blood in other ways, such as in the context of period play or virginity fantasies,” he adds.
We asked some blood play enthusiasts how they partake in the kink. Sylvan, 25, says they mostly explore blood play using needles and blood cupping. How the practice works: Needles are used to puncture, cut, or slice skin, drawing blood. After the needles are removed, some people " cup " the inflicted area, drawing the blood out of the body and onto their skin.
The first time Sylvan tried it, “My girlfriend cut into my thigh and then put on three heart-shaped cups," they say. "When she took them off, the blood had started to coagulate, and I had three bloody heart gels. It was beautiful.”
Sylvan says the pain that comes with blood play helps them connect to their body. As someone with anxiety, they often find themselves stuck in their head. “When I pierce my skin with needles or scalpels, the sharp pain helps me come out of my head and into my body—more so than other types of pain play," they explain. "There is also something about blood play that feels spiritual for me. Outside of kink, there are blood rituals, blood oaths, blood sacrifices. Blood connects us to our life force, so I think it's arguably the most intense and intimate kink out there.”
Hannah, 27, says she wouldn’t describe needle play, blood play, and cupping as arousing, per se, “But it’s an exhilarating experience, and the adrenaline rush makes you feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside. There's this sort of buzzing effect afterward that I really enjoyed.”
Jamie, 33, creates a truly immersive experience by hosting blood sex parties. "Blood orgies consist of using blood bags to collect blood, then covering each other in the blood as we all have sex," he says. Jamie explains that everyone gets STI tested beforehand to reduce the likelihood of transmitting diseases and infections. They also have medical professionals in attendance to oversee the blood collection and to make sure no one overdraws. (The maximum amount of blood you can safely draw is roughly what you'd give when donating blood to the Red Cross: 1 pint .)
Taking a page from Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly's book, Jamie also ingests human blood, using it instead of pig's blood for a number of recipes, including blood tofu. “Consuming those closest to you is oddly wholesome," he says. "[It] symbolizes a bond and vulnerability, and can be sexy or playful, depending on the setting."
Participants at Jamie's parties are aware of and consenting to the considerable dangers involved. If it's hard to wrap your head around why anyone would take such a risk, remember that every sexual activity carries some risk level.
"Two key considerations for sexual behavior are to ensure that everything you’re doing is consensual, and, further, that it doesn’t pose an unacceptable risk of harm," Lehmiller says. "Different people are going to define 'unacceptable risk' in very different ways, but the starting point is to identify and be aware of the risks of a given activity before you ever attempt it so that you can make an informed decision."
To folks like Jamie, the risk of blood play is well worth the reward. “These group sex events are aesthetically beautiful, raw, primal, and so fucking hot," he says. "How could they not be when you are covered in each other's life forces—wrestling, making out, sucking, railing, and cumming on each other?”
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