Pissing Fetish
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Pissing Fetish
Niki Davis-Fainbloom is a sexual educator, writer, and coach. She received her Master's Degree at New York University in Psychology, focusing on sexual dysfunction. She currently writes for a number of magazines, including Pornhub , Sexual Wellness Center, Rewire, and The Future of Sex. She has also lectured at Planned Parenthood, New York University, and The United Nations. Linkedin Profile | Website | Instagram
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Are you wondering about Urophilia and how it originate? Then this pee fetish guide from sex educator Niki Davis-Fainbloom will help!
Incorporating urine into sexual encounters is not uncommon, and it has cultural references to prove it. What comes to mind is that episode of Sex and the City when Carrie is dating a politician who asks her to urinate on him in the shower.
She shames him for his desire, saying “it’s ok that he’s into something so gross” when it’s not, and his piss kink leads to their breakup.
When exploring real-world examples, Chuck Berry had a tape surfaced of him urinating on a woman. He was later sued for non-consensually recording women going to the bathroom in the restaurant he owned. Similarly, an infamous “pee tape” surfaced of R Kelly peeing on a fourteen-year-old girl’s face, as well as engaging in other sexual acts. This video leads to his arrest.
How nice would it be if someone was consensually and healthily exploring pee play with a partner? Or even an example of someone thoughtfully sharing they don’t want to explore this fetish but showing respect to their partner’s desire?
It’s a challenge to fight potentially harmful images and associations as we explore fetishes, especially something taboo like pee. Think about the media and how it impacts how you think about pee play and pee fetishes.
Make sure to not accidentally yuk somebodies yum, or make them feel bad for what they desire.
Urophilia is sexual excitement relating to urine. Some folks are excited by urinating on other people, some want others to urinate on them, and very few want to drink their own urine. For many enjoying golden showers, the desire is related to power and degradation. For example, those who enjoy being peed on often experience a masochistic desire, where getting peed on is an act of submission. They often want you to dominate them in other ways as well. For folks that enjoy peeing on others, there is often a sadistic component, where they use their urine as a tool to exert power and control over someone consensually.
There are several different types of desires within the urine realm. For example, Urolagnia is the sexual excitement one feels from peeing in their pants. Urophagia is drinking urine (AKA pee drinking fetish).
In Japan, there’s also something called “Omoashi,” when you hold in urine until the need to urinate is so urgent (AKA pee holding fetish). Omoashi can be a way to explore BDSM, where someone controls another’s urine. Similar to edging sex with orgasms, something is exciting about having someone else be in control of your bodily functions.
The sensation of peeing or being peed on can feel novel, exciting, warm, and wet. The excitement can come from smelling, tasting, and feeling the sensation of urine. For some, the excitement comes from the actual feeling of the urine. Others are intrigued by the taboo. Urine is considered a private act. Some may experience a voyeuristic excitement in watching another engage in an act that’s not typically seen.
Pee can also be a new flavor of liquid to explore. Folks who have a high libido and are sexually experimental may play around with pee, despite not being uniquely aroused by it precisely, as it is novel, new, and exciting.
Something unique happens during sexual arousal that can partially explain why pee is exciting. As arousal increases, our disgust response lessons. As a result, acts that we would find gross when not in a sexual scenario can become much more exciting when you’re sexually aroused.
Perhaps the disgust component can explain the excitement in urine for some. The research shows that when folks were asked to rate their attraction to watching others urinate, they were more interested when already aroused than when they were in a non-aroused state. This arousal disgust relationship can explain why we may be enjoying watching some freaky porn, but the second after we orgasm, we are like, WTF was that?
So some folks who have pissing fantasies may only enjoy it when in an aroused state. Or when the circumstances are just right.
There’s also an association between the bladder and pleasure. Some women have more intense orgasms with a full bladder or when they release their bladder during the sex act. Much of the fluid you release during squirting comes from the bladder, so it makes sense some folks associate the bladder with sexual pleasure.
There’s some conflicting research regarding how common piss fetish is.
An Australian study found that 4% of men have a urine fetish. Interestingly, desires shift along with global news. For example, following the alleged Trump incident, searches for “ Golden Showers ” on Pornhub skyrocketed and are still higher than before the incident. There’s also a large community of folks into piss play on Fetlife, where there are over 25,000 members of a group called “watersports.”
Despite its relative popularity, enjoying pee kink is less common than other fetishes.
Jennifer Eve Rehor did a study exploring how common several fetishes are. She found that out of 1,580 folks who explored uncommon sexual behavior, sexual watersports were not particularly common compared to other acts.
For example, only 36.52% of folks stated ever have played with pee. However, 94% of folks reported engaging in spanking, and 62% used fur or feathers in their sexual life.
You can read more about the top fetishes here.
Although playing around with urine is safer than playing with cum or blood in terms of STI risk, there are still some safety considerations and health risks to keep in mind.
For example, a significant health issue could be hepatitis, as you can transmit through urine. As well, genital herpes can be transmitted through urine, even if the person doesn’t have any symptoms.
It’s crucial that if you’re unsure of one’s STI status, you make sure there are no open wounds on the person who is getting peed on. It would also be safer not to ingest the urine.
For example, don’t aim at the mouth but other body parts like the stomach. The safest way to explore golden shower fetish would be to have both partners tested before gettin’ freaky.
When you share your desire with a partner , they should never make you feel ashamed. It’s up to them whether they are interested in exploring with you, but learn from Carrie’s mistake and be careful how you respond when someone discloses their fetish.
Never shame someone for what excites them!
Suppose your partner is interested in exploring golden shower. In that case, you can start slow by watching porn together and explaining what about urine you find enticing to create an arousing scenario.
For example, do you prefer a specific smell? A particular way to play with power? A specific location? As with anything, starting slow is a great way to make sure everybody is enjoying themselves as the scenario escalates.
Everyone has their preferences regarding taste and color, but drinking a lot of water before urinating is a good call. Certain liquids pass through a human body faster than others. So if you are hoping for a nice long pee, you may want to stay away from beer or coffee as they pass through your system quickly and may impact the smell.
You can also curate the taste and aroma experience. For example, you can eat asparagus if you want more of a harsh taste and smell or pineapple juice if you want a sweeter urine taste.
It’s also essential to find the right place for peeing fetish; there’s a reason it’s known as a golden shower and not a yellow bed.
Urophilia can be a fun way to play around with power and experience novel sexual situations and sensations. As long as you communicate with your partner about your urination desires, be conscious of safety and never make anyone feel bad for their desires. It should be a blast (or a slow trickle?).
PS, for more information, I can recommend my beginners guide to kink .
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Everything you need to know about piss play, including why people like this particular kink to how to do a golden shower safely.
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Sophie Saint Thomas is a New York-based writer originally from the Caribbean. She is Allure ’s resident astrologer and the author of Finding Your Higher Self: Your Guide to Cannabis for Self-Care (Adams Media), a guide to self-care and marijuana, and [*Sex Witch: Magickal Spells for Love, Lust, and... Read more
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While to some, golden showers are the butt of a Donald Trump joke, to others, they are an extremely erotic experience. Golden showers are one form of piss play , which is exactly what it sounds like: sexual play involving piss. Though they may seem easy to make fun of because most of us grew up with bathroom humor, we should probably be nicer when it comes to the topic of golden showers because a lot of people are into them, and kink-shaming isn't cool .
Some people engage in golden showers as part of BDSM . BDSM involves a power exchange in which one partner is submissive and the other partner is dominant. In this particular scenario, the dominant partner typically pees on the submissive. Other people just try them out because they're horny and bored. Let's talk about all the reasons people love golden showers and what you should know if you're interested in trying out this particular kink.
This particular kink is actually incredibly ordinary, according to the experts. "Urophilia — golden showers, piss play, and the like — is such a common kink that there are piss parties full of folks who want to explore this," says New York sex therapist and relationship counselor Michael DeMarco . New York City-based professional and lifestyle dominatrix Goddess Aviva adds, "It’s so common! People love to be peed on. And quite a few of them also like to drink it." In fact, an Australian survey says that around four percent of men have a piss play fetish, and Pornhub stats show that searches for "golden shower" (along with related terms) increased exponentially in 2017 after it was alleged that Donald Trump enjoyed watersports.
There are also quite a few online communities for folks to go who are interested in golden showers. In fact, the "watersports" (another name for piss play) group on the kinky social media website FetLife boasts over 25,000 members. Additionally, there are dating apps and websites specifically tailored to folks looking to find other kinky people to hook up with, including KinkD , BDSM.com , Fetster.com , and more.
Any time you are exchanging bodily fluids, there is going to be some risk. According to Kimberly Langdon, an OB/GYN and clinical advisor at Medzino Health , it's only true that urine is sterile if the person peeing is completely healthy. "Urine can spread disease, including bacterial, fungal, and viral infections," she explains. During a golden shower, this most commonly occurs if the recipient has an open wound.
"Regarding skin contact , urine will usually cause no harm if there are no fissures, broken skin or open wounds," Langdon adds. "If this is, however, the case, then urine can cause infection if the partner urinating has a bacterial infection and the urine comes into contact with wounds and mucous membranes."
So, if you're enjoying golden showers with someone whose health status you are unsure of, make sure there are no open wounds on you, and ask them to aim somewhere besides the mouth, such as on your stomach. Discuss your health with your partner; professional dominatrixes are already on it.
"With anything where you're sharing bodily fluid, you need to make sure that you’re not sick or have any kind of infection. It’s also really important to hydrate. The other factor that you should consider, is how close you are to someone’s mouth. A way to avoid that is to be above them," Goddess Aviva says.
First off, the person performing the golden shower will probably want to drink a lot of water an hour or so beforehand. Like, a lot. It's also important to pick the right place — golden showers probably shouldn't take place in your bed. "If you’re curious about golden showers, an easy way to do it is to be in the shower or bath. And if you’re not really into it, you can rinse it off right away," Goddess Aviva says.
Once you've figured out where it's going to happen (and who it's going to happen with), make sure that all parties know what the plan is and are fully consenting. Consent is the most important part of any sex act, after all. Have everything you want for clean-up nearby, and everyone should have a safe word ready, too.
Remember what we've discussed above — that urine isn't sterile, and that the person receiving the golden shower shouldn't have any open cuts or sores. If this checks out, then you're good to go, but be patient, especially if it's the first time trying this for either of you. Lastly, when you're all done, clean off, and if you feel like it, keep the fun going .
Other than clean-up and potential risks from fluid exchange, should this be something you want to try, you just have to make peace with your desire to try giving or receiving a golden shower and then discuss it with your partner(s) so you can experience one from a place of mutual enthusiastic consent.
"Owning your sexual expression from the get-go will put you on more solid ground once you're in a relationship to be able to have awkward or challenging talks about sexuality and how your sexual expression might evolve," Langdon says. Now that you know all about piss play, there's only one thing left to do if you want to try it for yourself — go find a partner who is into it, too. Happy kink month , babes.
Read more about kinks and fetishes:
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