Piss In Her Hair

Piss In Her Hair
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And I did. But it wasn’t really my cup of, ehm…
This is what my mother told me, when I was a kid
At 10, though, I didn’t feel like bragging about it.
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During my London years, I had a secret affair with a married woman for about a year and a half. I wasn’t single, either, but I was going through an intense cheating phase that lasted almost a decade.
From day one, our relationship had an element of kink. We spiced up our meetings with some mutual biting, scratching, hitting, hair pulling, and more stuff that I wouldn’t dare ask from other sex partners. It was a world of pain that she initiated me to. It matched our fantasy. She was in danger, because I was wild and unpredictable. Sort of. And vice versa.
We were both pretty reasonable people. When together, though, we allowed ourselves to cross some boundaries — each their own. It was liberating and exhilarating.
Another noteworthy thing was that, although we dated for about a year, we never had sex until our very last date. Until then, our meetings were a long string of interrupted foreplay sessions. We accumulated an incredible amount of sexual tension begging to burst.
One evening, her husband was away. For the first time, she invited me over to spend the night. I couldn’t believe that it was going to happen.
So, at her place, we released all that sexual energy. It was the first time that we weaved our naked bodies together and had sex.
Like before, we spiced up our sex with acts of controlled and consensual violence. We pinched each other’s nipples and poured hot candle wax on them. I slapped her hard on the face and she clawed on my back with her fingernails.
It wasn’t really extreme, but it was enough to consider it kinky. It was definitely out of my usual vanilla zone.
When done in the right moment, some of those things I actually enjoyed and I was very much turned on by them.
When she asked me to pee on her, though, I wasn’t prepared for it.
We were showering together. When I said I needed to pee, she asked me to do it on her.
Her request caught me by surprise. I had never thought of doing such a thing to anyone before and I was quite uncomfortable about it.
Still, our relationship being quite experimental, I said okay and she lied in the bathtub, under me. Taking a deep breath to relax my muscles, I released my urine on her chest.
She hadn’t specified where she wanted me to wet her.
It was impromptu and not something we had set ground rules for. Was I supposed to make her drink it?
I was already beyond my limits. There was no way that I would aim for her face or mouth. Neither did she ask for it. She enjoyed me spraying her breasts and belly.
Then, I said something like “okay, that’s enough,” and turned the water on, cleaning her up. I was clumsy about it — I think the water was a little cold, too. I am not sure if she appreciated her golden shower turning into a Scottish one.
I must have ruined her experience. But then again, all our kinks revolved around discomfort. She may as well have loved it.
That was the first and last time that we had sex. We never saw each other after that. It was her choice. I texted her to meet again, but she replied to my message that nothing could ever beat that last night of ours.
Was that the truth? Perhaps this ending was part of the fantasy. A perfect climax to the perfect build-up. Or perhaps I piss people off — sorry, I couldn’t help myself.
I bumped into her a year or so after that night. She told me that she and her husband had separated and she introduced me to her new boyfriend. He was slightly older than me — slightly younger than her.
I can’t help but think that her separation had something to do with that night of ours. If the marriage was doomed, I flatter myself that our night together acted as a catalyst for her to move on.
I am a narcissist, after all. I have to weave a narrative that, no matter what I do, I make people happy.
I keep thinking about that uncomfortable moment in the shower, though. I wasn’t cool about it. Apparently, that was were I drew the line.
How would it be if I had crossed that boundary? Would I be able to release it on her face? Would I have enjoyed her doing the same on me? I haven’t been thinking much about it all those years. Still, writing about it sends a tingling sensation around my pubic area.
After my cheating phase, I too broke up. I have been with my wife nine years now. We have two kids, a five- and a one-year-old. Our sex life has been put to a halt, because of the baby. Bummer.
It will take a while to get back on track — let alone on speed. When it does, though, I wonder if we should put a golden shower on our to-do list.
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What’s one more bodily fluid between friends, right?
Welcome to the new BuzzFeed Sex Q&A, where you can ask us your awkward, confusing, gross, embarrassing, or thought-provoking questions, and we'll provide answers from leading sexual health experts. Have a question about sex or sexual health? Send it to sexQs@buzzfeed.com .
Q: My wife and I (both 23) have what I would call an extremely healthy, adventurous sex life. I have a question about something we do once in a while. Can I safely urinate inside my wife during intercourse? We don't do it all the time, but it feels amazing and turns us both on a lot. What are the risks to this? I haven't been able to find much information on it. We have done this in the past with no problem, but she is pregnant right now and we want to be safe. Thank you for the help; I was really excited to see you guys are doing this for people!
Hi Joe! Thanks so much for your question. To help answer it, we checked with sexual health expert Madeleine Castellanos, M.D., author of Wanting to Want , and certified OB-GYN Mary Jane Minkin, M.D., clinical professor of obstetrics, gynecology, and reproductive sciences at Yale School of Medicine. Here's what they had to say:
That's because urine is typically sterile, though it may contain some bacteria if you have an infection, like a bladder infection. "If a person's healthy and doesn't have any bacterial infections, there's not a whole lot of bacteria coming through urine, and if there is, it's the same as what would be in ejaculate," says Castellanos. So getting some pee on you isn't really anything to worry about health-wise (as long as it's consensual).
The only real concern would be messing with vaginal pH levels, which is the natural balance of acidity and bacteria in the vagina. A healthy vagina is naturally acidic, with a pH between 3.8 and 4.5, which helps protect against infections, says Castellanos. Tons of things can affect vaginal pH, including semen, but it's usually too small an amount to cause much trouble.
Although pee is also generally pretty acidic, it is possible that it could throw the vaginal pH out of whack, says Minkin. If this happens, it could make your wife more susceptible to things like yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis. "Some women — but not everyone — may be more susceptible to infection just because of the bacteria already present [in the vagina]," Castellanos says. "And this is assuming the urine is totally sterile."
But every vagina is different — while some are more prone to infections, others very rarely get them. If your wife has never ever experienced any irritation from this and she's never gotten a vaginal infection since you've started doing it, it's probably fine. "If [you] want to do it every once in a while, it probably wouldn't be a problem especially if she's not that susceptible to infections," says Castellanos. "But if it's done very frequently, some women might find it irritating afterwards."
That said, there are a few more things to keep in mind…
You definitely wouldn't want to do this with a bladder infection, since that could pass bacteria along to your wife. You should also be careful if you're diabetic, since there's a chance some glucose could pass through your urine, and you definitely don't want to introduce sugar into the vagina, warns Castellanos.
STIs are another concern, since anything that could be passed along through sexual contact could be passed when urinating inside your partner. "These do not come from the urine or bladder itself, but can be passed along from the inside of the urethra or prostate during urination," says Castellanos, since urine passes through prostatic tissues on the way out.
This could even be an issue if you're peeing externally and you have an STI that could infect regular skin, like herpes or HPV. It's highly unlikely, but it's possible that traces of the virus could be carried along from the urethra, says Castellanos. But if you and your wife are mutually monogamous and have recently been tested, this wouldn't really be an issue.
Even if you're both free of STIs and totally healthy, there's still a chance that urinating inside of her can screw with her vaginal pH levels and make her more susceptible to infections. "I would imagine that most physicians would advise not doing it during pregnancy because why increase your chance of infections, even if it is very slight?" Castellanos says. Still, she suggests checking with your wife's doctor if you're concerned.
It's not like the urine is really going to go anywhere but the vagina, says Minkin. While there's a remote possibility it could get up into the cervix, it really wouldn't do anything as long as your urine is free of bacteria. (This is especially true during pregnancy, when the cervical mucus is much thicker and harder to penetrate.) If you want to be extra safe, you can get a urinalysis to make sure everything's in order down there. As an alternative, you could always try peeing on her instead of in her. It's not the same, but it's completely safe.
The bottom line: As long as you're both infection-free, you only do it occasionally, and your wife doesn't experience any irritation from it, you're probably in the clear.
ALSO, the more details you give, the better answers you'll get. Judgment-free zone! Feel free to sign it however you want (first name, alias, anonymous, some kind of descriptive sign-off, whatever), and we'll reach out if we end up answering your question. Check out some of the questions we've already answered:
Casey Gueren is a senior health editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York.
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