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Everything you need to know about piss play, including why people like this particular kink to how to do a golden shower safely.
Sophie Saint Thomas is a New York-based writer originally from the Caribbean. She is Allure ’s resident astrologer and the author of Finding Your Higher Self: Your Guide to Cannabis for Self-Care (Adams Media), a guide to self-care and marijuana, and [*Sex Witch: Magickal Spells for Love, Lust, and... Read more
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While to some, golden showers are the butt of a Donald Trump joke, to others, they are an extremely erotic experience. Golden showers are one form of piss play , which is exactly what it sounds like: sexual play involving piss. Though they may seem easy to make fun of because most of us grew up with bathroom humor, we should probably be nicer when it comes to the topic of golden showers because a lot of people are into them, and kink-shaming isn't cool .
Some people engage in golden showers as part of BDSM . BDSM involves a power exchange in which one partner is submissive and the other partner is dominant. In this particular scenario, the dominant partner typically pees on the submissive. Other people just try them out because they're horny and bored. Let's talk about all the reasons people love golden showers and what you should know if you're interested in trying out this particular kink.
This particular kink is actually incredibly ordinary, according to the experts. "Urophilia — golden showers, piss play, and the like — is such a common kink that there are piss parties full of folks who want to explore this," says New York sex therapist and relationship counselor Michael DeMarco . New York City-based professional and lifestyle dominatrix Goddess Aviva adds, "It’s so common! People love to be peed on. And quite a few of them also like to drink it." In fact, an Australian survey says that around four percent of men have a piss play fetish, and Pornhub stats show that searches for "golden shower" (along with related terms) increased exponentially in 2017 after it was alleged that Donald Trump enjoyed watersports.
There are also quite a few online communities for folks to go who are interested in golden showers. In fact, the "watersports" (another name for piss play) group on the kinky social media website FetLife boasts over 25,000 members. Additionally, there are dating apps and websites specifically tailored to folks looking to find other kinky people to hook up with, including KinkD , BDSM.com , Fetster.com , and more.
Any time you are exchanging bodily fluids, there is going to be some risk. According to Kimberly Langdon, an OB/GYN and clinical advisor at Medzino Health , it's only true that urine is sterile if the person peeing is completely healthy. "Urine can spread disease, including bacterial, fungal, and viral infections," she explains. During a golden shower, this most commonly occurs if the recipient has an open wound.
"Regarding skin contact , urine will usually cause no harm if there are no fissures, broken skin or open wounds," Langdon adds. "If this is, however, the case, then urine can cause infection if the partner urinating has a bacterial infection and the urine comes into contact with wounds and mucous membranes."
So, if you're enjoying golden showers with someone whose health status you are unsure of, make sure there are no open wounds on you, and ask them to aim somewhere besides the mouth, such as on your stomach. Discuss your health with your partner; professional dominatrixes are already on it.
"With anything where you're sharing bodily fluid, you need to make sure that you’re not sick or have any kind of infection. It’s also really important to hydrate. The other factor that you should consider, is how close you are to someone’s mouth. A way to avoid that is to be above them," Goddess Aviva says.
First off, the person performing the golden shower will probably want to drink a lot of water an hour or so beforehand. Like, a lot. It's also important to pick the right place — golden showers probably shouldn't take place in your bed. "If you’re curious about golden showers, an easy way to do it is to be in the shower or bath. And if you’re not really into it, you can rinse it off right away," Goddess Aviva says.
Once you've figured out where it's going to happen (and who it's going to happen with), make sure that all parties know what the plan is and are fully consenting. Consent is the most important part of any sex act, after all. Have everything you want for clean-up nearby, and everyone should have a safe word ready, too.
Remember what we've discussed above — that urine isn't sterile, and that the person receiving the golden shower shouldn't have any open cuts or sores. If this checks out, then you're good to go, but be patient, especially if it's the first time trying this for either of you. Lastly, when you're all done, clean off, and if you feel like it, keep the fun going .
Other than clean-up and potential risks from fluid exchange, should this be something you want to try, you just have to make peace with your desire to try giving or receiving a golden shower and then discuss it with your partner(s) so you can experience one from a place of mutual enthusiastic consent.
"Owning your sexual expression from the get-go will put you on more solid ground once you're in a relationship to be able to have awkward or challenging talks about sexuality and how your sexual expression might evolve," Langdon says. Now that you know all about piss play, there's only one thing left to do if you want to try it for yourself — go find a partner who is into it, too. Happy kink month , babes.
Read more about kinks and fetishes:
Now, watch us taste test four flavored lubes:
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Golden showers are one form of piss play, which is exactly what it sounds like: sexual play involving piss . Though they may seem easy to make fun of because most of us grew up with bathroom humor,...
r/Pee: Reddit's biggest community for pee-related pictures, gifs, and videos! No penis-only content allowed.
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Urine play during sex (also referred to as watersports, golden showers, or urolagnia) is generally safe when you're peeing ON somebody. Arthur Carlo Franco / Getty Images / Via thinkstockphotos.com...
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What’s one more bodily fluid between friends, right?
Welcome to the new BuzzFeed Sex Q&A, where you can ask us your awkward, confusing, gross, embarrassing, or thought-provoking questions, and we'll provide answers from leading sexual health experts. Have a question about sex or sexual health? Send it to sexQs@buzzfeed.com .
Q: My wife and I (both 23) have what I would call an extremely healthy, adventurous sex life. I have a question about something we do once in a while. Can I safely urinate inside my wife during intercourse? We don't do it all the time, but it feels amazing and turns us both on a lot. What are the risks to this? I haven't been able to find much information on it. We have done this in the past with no problem, but she is pregnant right now and we want to be safe. Thank you for the help; I was really excited to see you guys are doing this for people!
Hi Joe! Thanks so much for your question. To help answer it, we checked with sexual health expert Madeleine Castellanos, M.D., author of Wanting to Want , and certified OB-GYN Mary Jane Minkin, M.D., clinical professor of obstetrics, gynecology, and reproductive sciences at Yale School of Medicine. Here's what they had to say:
That's because urine is typically sterile, though it may contain some bacteria if you have an infection, like a bladder infection. "If a person's healthy and doesn't have any bacterial infections, there's not a whole lot of bacteria coming through urine, and if there is, it's the same as what would be in ejaculate," says Castellanos. So getting some pee on you isn't really anything to worry about health-wise (as long as it's consensual).
The only real concern would be messing with vaginal pH levels, which is the natural balance of acidity and bacteria in the vagina. A healthy vagina is naturally acidic, with a pH between 3.8 and 4.5, which helps protect against infections, says Castellanos. Tons of things can affect vaginal pH, including semen, but it's usually too small an amount to cause much trouble.
Although pee is also generally pretty acidic, it is possible that it could throw the vaginal pH out of whack, says Minkin. If this happens, it could make your wife more susceptible to things like yeast infections and bacterial vaginosis. "Some women — but not everyone — may be more susceptible to infection just because of the bacteria already present [in the vagina]," Castellanos says. "And this is assuming the urine is totally sterile."
But every vagina is different — while some are more prone to infections, others very rarely get them. If your wife has never ever experienced any irritation from this and she's never gotten a vaginal infection since you've started doing it, it's probably fine. "If [you] want to do it every once in a while, it probably wouldn't be a problem especially if she's not that susceptible to infections," says Castellanos. "But if it's done very frequently, some women might find it irritating afterwards."
That said, there are a few more things to keep in mind…
You definitely wouldn't want to do this with a bladder infection, since that could pass bacteria along to your wife. You should also be careful if you're diabetic, since there's a chance some glucose could pass through your urine, and you definitely don't want to introduce sugar into the vagina, warns Castellanos.
STIs are another concern, since anything that could be passed along through sexual contact could be passed when urinating inside your partner. "These do not come from the urine or bladder itself, but can be passed along from the inside of the urethra or prostate during urination," says Castellanos, since urine passes through prostatic tissues on the way out.
This could even be an issue if you're peeing externally and you have an STI that could infect regular skin, like herpes or HPV. It's highly unlikely, but it's possible that traces of the virus could be carried along from the urethra, says Castellanos. But if you and your wife are mutually monogamous and have recently been tested, this wouldn't really be an issue.
Even if you're both free of STIs and totally healthy, there's still a chance that urinating inside of her can screw with her vaginal pH levels and make her more susceptible to infections. "I would imagine that most physicians would advise not doing it during pregnancy because why increase your chance of infections, even if it is very slight?" Castellanos says. Still, she suggests checking with your wife's doctor if you're concerned.
It's not like the urine is really going to go anywhere but the vagina, says Minkin. While there's a remote possibility it could get up into the cervix, it really wouldn't do anything as long as your urine is free of bacteria. (This is especially true during pregnancy, when the cervical mucus is much thicker and harder to penetrate.) If you want to be extra safe, you can get a urinalysis to make sure everything's in order down there. As an alternative, you could always try peeing on her instead of in her. It's not the same, but it's completely safe.
The bottom line: As long as you're both infection-free, you only do it occasionally, and your wife doesn't experience any irritation from it, you're probably in the clear.
ALSO, the more details you give, the better answers you'll get. Judgment-free zone! Feel free to sign it however you want (first name, alias, anonymous, some kind of descriptive sign-off, whatever), and we'll reach out if we end up answering your question. Check out some of the questions we've already answered:
Casey Gueren is a senior health editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York.
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