Piss Hair

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Piss Hair
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Everything you need to know about piss play, including why people like this particular kink to how to do a golden shower safely.
Sophie Saint Thomas is a New York-based writer originally from the Caribbean. She is Allure ’s resident astrologer and the author of Finding Your Higher Self: Your Guide to Cannabis for Self-Care (Adams Media), a guide to self-care and marijuana, and [*Sex Witch: Magickal Spells for Love, Lust, and... Read more
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It's Kink Month at Allure, and we're talking all about fetishes and kinks. Read more on our landing page here .
While to some, golden showers are the butt of a Donald Trump joke, to others, they are an extremely erotic experience. Golden showers are one form of piss play , which is exactly what it sounds like: sexual play involving piss. Though they may seem easy to make fun of because most of us grew up with bathroom humor, we should probably be nicer when it comes to the topic of golden showers because a lot of people are into them, and kink-shaming isn't cool .
Some people engage in golden showers as part of BDSM . BDSM involves a power exchange in which one partner is submissive and the other partner is dominant. In this particular scenario, the dominant partner typically pees on the submissive. Other people just try them out because they're horny and bored. Let's talk about all the reasons people love golden showers and what you should know if you're interested in trying out this particular kink.
This particular kink is actually incredibly ordinary, according to the experts. "Urophilia — golden showers, piss play, and the like — is such a common kink that there are piss parties full of folks who want to explore this," says New York sex therapist and relationship counselor Michael DeMarco . New York City-based professional and lifestyle dominatrix Goddess Aviva adds, "It’s so common! People love to be peed on. And quite a few of them also like to drink it." In fact, an Australian survey says that around four percent of men have a piss play fetish, and Pornhub stats show that searches for "golden shower" (along with related terms) increased exponentially in 2017 after it was alleged that Donald Trump enjoyed watersports.
There are also quite a few online communities for folks to go who are interested in golden showers. In fact, the "watersports" (another name for piss play) group on the kinky social media website FetLife boasts over 25,000 members. Additionally, there are dating apps and websites specifically tailored to folks looking to find other kinky people to hook up with, including KinkD , BDSM.com , Fetster.com , and more.
Any time you are exchanging bodily fluids, there is going to be some risk. According to Kimberly Langdon, an OB/GYN and clinical advisor at Medzino Health , it's only true that urine is sterile if the person peeing is completely healthy. "Urine can spread disease, including bacterial, fungal, and viral infections," she explains. During a golden shower, this most commonly occurs if the recipient has an open wound.
"Regarding skin contact , urine will usually cause no harm if there are no fissures, broken skin or open wounds," Langdon adds. "If this is, however, the case, then urine can cause infection if the partner urinating has a bacterial infection and the urine comes into contact with wounds and mucous membranes."
So, if you're enjoying golden showers with someone whose health status you are unsure of, make sure there are no open wounds on you, and ask them to aim somewhere besides the mouth, such as on your stomach. Discuss your health with your partner; professional dominatrixes are already on it.
"With anything where you're sharing bodily fluid, you need to make sure that you’re not sick or have any kind of infection. It’s also really important to hydrate. The other factor that you should consider, is how close you are to someone’s mouth. A way to avoid that is to be above them," Goddess Aviva says.
First off, the person performing the golden shower will probably want to drink a lot of water an hour or so beforehand. Like, a lot. It's also important to pick the right place — golden showers probably shouldn't take place in your bed. "If you’re curious about golden showers, an easy way to do it is to be in the shower or bath. And if you’re not really into it, you can rinse it off right away," Goddess Aviva says.
Once you've figured out where it's going to happen (and who it's going to happen with), make sure that all parties know what the plan is and are fully consenting. Consent is the most important part of any sex act, after all. Have everything you want for clean-up nearby, and everyone should have a safe word ready, too.
Remember what we've discussed above — that urine isn't sterile, and that the person receiving the golden shower shouldn't have any open cuts or sores. If this checks out, then you're good to go, but be patient, especially if it's the first time trying this for either of you. Lastly, when you're all done, clean off, and if you feel like it, keep the fun going .
Other than clean-up and potential risks from fluid exchange, should this be something you want to try, you just have to make peace with your desire to try giving or receiving a golden shower and then discuss it with your partner(s) so you can experience one from a place of mutual enthusiastic consent.
"Owning your sexual expression from the get-go will put you on more solid ground once you're in a relationship to be able to have awkward or challenging talks about sexuality and how your sexual expression might evolve," Langdon says. Now that you know all about piss play, there's only one thing left to do if you want to try it for yourself — go find a partner who is into it, too. Happy kink month , babes.
Read more about kinks and fetishes:
Now, watch us taste test four flavored lubes:
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It’s likely that you have, at some point, removed some — perhaps even all — of your pubic hair. A nationally representative 2016 study out of the University of California, San Francisco found that nearly 84 percent of the 3,316 women surveyed had groomed their pubic hair, and 62 percent had removed it all at least once. Shaving with a nonelectric razor was the most popular method of grooming, followed by trimming with scissors and shaving with an electric razor.
Of course, grooming doesn’t exist in a vacuum, and individuals have long made their follicular decisions according to trends. Even the current natural-is-beautiful, pro-body-hair movement is a cultural product (and one that tends to focus on the hair of cis white women , at that). Women and femmes are far from a monolith, however. Beauty standards interact with gender identity, race, sexuality, relationships, and, yes, simple convenience to influence how we approach our pubes.
As the summer season of greater exposure approaches, Allure is exploring five women’s diverse relationships with their pubic hair — and featuring original photographs of them and their hair, or lack thereof. The women’s overriding sentiment: I do what works for me; to each their own . And while ultimately we may not be able to separate our bush-care choices from beauty ideals, we can stop attaching moral judgments to pubic hair. Ahead, NSFW portraits and uncensored thoughts on the hair down there.
I don’t remember the exact age [I started shaving], but like middle school, I think, just seeing other girls do and it just being like, Oh, well, OK, I guess I’m gonna do it, too .
I’m a hairy person, but I’ve gone most of my life shaving most of my body hair just because there was this idea that I need to that I dealt with for a long time. And so I kind of just woke up one day and...it started off with my legs, and I was like, Why am I doing this? I don’t want really want to, so let me just see how long I can go with not shaving my legs and seeing if it bothers anybody , and no one ever said anything. So then I was [like], OK, so then, if I can apply this to my body hair on my legs, what about my bush? I’ve experimented over the years: I’ve shaved it off completely, I’ve trimmed, but this is the first time that I’m just letting it be completely. I feel really good about it. It makes me feel sexy, it makes me feel affirmed; I don’t know, I think it’s cute, I like it.
In the last few years, [with] this whole body positivity and body hair appreciation movement, I’m noticing who is not included. Especially being a black person, a person of color, it’s very obvious to me when people from my community are not present in things. So people being able to reclaim their body hair, that’s cool, but when it’s only light-skinned white girls who have, like, three, blonde hairs on their entire body, that sends a very strong message.
With this whole body positivity and body hair appreciation movement, I’m noticing who is not included.
To me, it just felt really important to do this [shoot] because I really wish I could have had some visibility as far as a hairy, dark-skinned person. Even within the movement, I feel like it’s more looked down upon that we show our hair because the hair is different, too. It’s not straight, it’s not blonde, you can’t really hide it, it’s there. The journey of my hair on my head, too, going from getting perms my entire life and then cutting it off to a half-inch when I was 17 and now letting it be wild and curly — this is how it grows out of my head — that’s also helped me feel better about body hair in general, because I’m like, This is how I want to look . And that’s really powerful, too.
I’m a queer person who has dated men, [and] I’ve really only had one partner that’s ever really commented on [my pubic hair].... It was one of the first times we were hanging out, and I didn’t tell [him] beforehand [that I let it grow] because I don’t really think it’s a big deal. They were kind of like, “Oh! You’re hairy!” and I’m like, “Yeah, I am!"... They were kind of surprised, I guess, because they were expecting me to not have any hair..., I’ve noticed just in general [with] the women and gender-nonconforming people I’ve dated, hair hasn’t really been an issue.
[As for how I see my partners,] it’s not really my place to police how other people maintain body hair and body image. Do your thing. I don’t necessarily think everyone should go natural or everyone should shave, I’m like, Whatever fits your body . I have friends who do have bush maintenance, and they do wax, and they do shave and that works for them, and I’m like, Yo, more power to you . So as far as grooming, I do still get my eyebrows waxed and shave my armpits. But other than that, everything is kept natural.
I am a non-monogamous person and have several partners and have for several years, and I think that maybe makes me feel more of my own agency about any kind of upkeep or how I want my pubic hair to be or how I want my body hair to be. None of my partners have ever expressed any preferences to me, which maybe is because I select for people who have that point of view in the world. But the fact that there are multiple people...makes me feel extra like I’m not seeking feedback about this. It’s just for me. There is a possibility that if people have preferences, they might differ, and I don’t care. I’m the constant in all of those circumstances.
I think I started to remove body hair in junior high; I don't remember any specific prompting event as much as just a vague sense that that's what people do with adult bodies. I experimented for a short period in my early 20s with not removing underarm or leg hair, which is a look I like on other femme-presenting people, but [I] actually just prefer the feeling of shaved legs and underarms for myself, so went back to shaving.
Sometimes I trim [my pubic hair]; sometimes I shave. I don’t wax.... I feel like I go through phases about it. I like my hair to be short because I think the sensation is better. I like there to be less hair in the way during sex. That is my own sensory preference. But I’m not interested in having no hair, I don’t think, and waxing just feels like an appointment to make and a thing to do, and I’m just not going to do it. [I’ve waxed before] just once to see [what it was like], and I liked having the skin-on-skin sensation, but it’s not a thing I’m going to do.
I am performing professionally [as a dancer] in a small amount of clothing some of the time, and even then I don’t really think about if some [hair] is showing — it’s fine. The artistic community I have is super progressive about all body things, so no one really is thinking about it or looking for it. But being at a pool feels like there’s more external pressure — or a beach. [I clean up the edges before the pool or beach] but mostly just so I don’t have to think about it or worry about it or wonder about it, not because I feel any actual pressure... It’s weird that [hairless] is what’s neutral: In order to not think about it, I have to do an action. But it seems like the path of least resistance in public, so it’s fine.
It’s weird that hairless is what’s neutral: In order to not think about it, I have to do an action.
I genuinely have no preference for the body hair of my partners; whatever grooming people like to do for themselves, I’m into. It does bum me out when it's clear that someone feels pressured into a particular body hair situation or is disconnected from their own aesthetic or sensation preferences. Individuality in self-presentation is sexy.
I’m a woman who is attracted to other women, [and] I find myself attracted to people with all kinds of body hair — whether that’s completely shaved, or styled, or just completely natural, all these things can be really, really sexy to me. On myself, though, I prefer not have any hair. It’s not so much a thing about femininity to me, it’s more just that I love the way that my skin feels when it’s completely smooth and bare.... So before I go out to a play party, or before I’m planning a big date, I’ll always be sure to remove all of my hair just so I feel nice and sexy about it. I’m heading to a party tonight; it’s a party that’s a BDSM and sex party just for women and trans people.
I love the way that my skin feels when it’s completely smooth and bare
[As a trans woman] I discovered my gender about seven years ago now. Before then, I hadn’t spent any time considering my gender. My adolescence, I was always very socially awkward. I assumed that I was just socially awkward — I didn’t realize that I was trying to connect to people through a paradigm of a gender that made no sense to me, the mannerisms of that gender, trying to ape what I saw guys doing. [As I was discovering my gender,] I had a really wonderful friend who...had me go to Target, pick up my first pair of panties, pick up a razor. And I proceeded to shave my whole body and get the worst razor burn of my life. So that was a transformative experience, you could say.
For the next few months, I explored everything: I had one of those epilator devices that would just pull the hairs out; I tried wax; I tried all different things. Eventually what I settled on as the thing that was best for my skin was Veet.... So that’s basically what I do now. Before I go to a party or a date, I’ll take a shower and Veet myself during it and I basically do my whole body. I do my chest because I still get a little bit of hair there. I do my stomach; I do my pubic area; I do my legs, my ass, my arms, armpits.
I only really feel a need to do that before engaging in some intimate times or something where I want to feel really sexy. The rest of the time I just sort of let things grow as they will. So it’s maybe once a week or so.
I just went to a beach or a pool for the first time in quite a while as a public thing.... I think I might’ve [tucked]. For those of you at home who don’t know, tucking is basically when you manipulate the various bits down there so that they end up inside of you and between your legs in such a way that [they] do not bulge out.
I don’t feel a need to aesthetically reconfigure what’s going on there through surgery in order to confirm my femininity, I already relate to my parts that same way [a cis woman does].... I don’t feel a need to surgically modify anything because I feel very comfortable with how it is.
I shaved my legs [starting in middle school] because of an As Told By Ginger episode where she buzzed her ankles, and I was like, I really want to shave my legs, too . Is that stupid?
[Starting] in college, I shaved everything, all the time — completely, everything, and I did it every week, and I just felt like that’s something I should be doing. In college, I just felt like a lot of my friends were either waxing it all off or shaving it all off. I even have a few friends who do laser hair removal — but they do it because of ingrown hairs, so they can’t wax all the time but they have painful hairs down there, and I don’t experience that. I’ve never gotten [an ingrown hair].
But then I realized that I didn’t really care and it’s almost more private and special if you have hair there. I still shave my armpits, but I trim and I don’t really shave that much down there anymore. [It’s out of] laziness. And I feel like it’s healthier to have more hair there. And it felt sort of safer to have it, too, like you have this natural protection — it’s sort of ridiculous but it’s true.
Then I realized that I didn't really care
Now I just trim or I’ll shave the top part maybe and not the bottom part, so right now it’s at least half-and-half, it’s a little lighter on the top, which is whatever. Nobody really seems to care or have a preference. I’ve never had a partner [care]... I think more people actually like hair there than not… For me, I don’t mind either [on a partner].
I think not shaving made me feel a lot more confident in myself, because when you do shave all the time...you feel like you’re putting on a show for something. Now that I just have hair everywhere, I’m not as worried about my image as much. I feel more comfortable with myself, I think.
[One time at school], this one boy unsolicitedly told me shaved his balls and asked me if I shaved my pubes. I was 16, so not super young, but he was maybe too old to be asking these sexual questions, he should have known better. I just lied and said “Yes” because I sensed that was t
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