Piss Condom

Piss Condom

So I've just been offered a job. A really fucking good job. But they drug test. I usually wont even fuck around w/ shit like that, because I dont feel its right, but for this much money, I'll kill someones Grandma. We're negotiating salary and bennies and stuff, so it'll be a few weeks before I need to take a test. I'm not worried about passing the thing, my good friend hasnt smoked in months due to some issues of his own, and he'll piss in a bottle for me. But how are you guys doing this whole "Piss In Condom" thing. Its a white-collar company, I'm sure they wont watch me with my dick in my hand. But are you stretching this condom out first so it holds a goodly amount? Or would a plastic bag and some rubber bands be easier? Someone needs to post a Tek for this.

-------------------- After one comes, through contact with it's administrators, no longer to cherish greatly the law as a remedy in abuses, then the bottle becomes a sovereign means of direct action. If you cannot throw it at least you can always drink out of it. - Ernest Hemingway
If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it. In the law courts, in business, in government. There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent.  -Cormac MacCarthy
He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. - Aeschylus

I don't think they require an ungodly amount of urine for a test. Just get some and store it in your undershorts, and then poor it into your cup, and then send me a few 100 clams for helping you.

I HIGHLY recommend Clear choice, instant additive. My one friend is a teacher, and got randomly tested one day. She smokes daily, and failed. She explained she was on medication, they gave her another test and she used it and passed. It is also the only product that ever worked for me personnally, and that was for probation. Check it out, its DEFINITELY worth it.

-------------------- On a personal level, Freaking Out is a process whereby an
individual casts off outmoded and restricting standars of
thinking, dress, and social etiquette in order to express
CREATIVELY his relationship to his immediate environment and
the social structure as a whole.
http://www.OrganicPharming.com - Ethno Shopping Portal

personally if this is a good job and you have the time i would just not smoke for a couple weeks...

ready clean works, if u dont smoke for 2 weeks drink alot of water, exercise for like a couple days starting now, then drink the ready clean the day of the test and follow the instructions.

Quote: Madtowntripper said: ...I'll kill someones Grandma. We're negotiating salary and bennies and stuff, so it'll be a few weeks before I need to take a test.... a few weeks is plenty of time to clean out naturally. stop now. for fuck's sake, if you're willing to kill people for the job then surely you can abstain for a couple weeks. don't be a pussy.

If you can find a plastic container that's like a small flask, go with that. Get some hand/foot warmers(the ones that heat to ~106F, and not the ones that heat to ~137F) and rubberband them on there about 30 minutes before the test. It's at the right temp when it feels like a bottle full of...piss.

-------------------- "I have sworn upon the altar of God eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man."

I just used a tick tack bottle last week to pass my piss test. I put my brothers clean urine in a tick tack container and put it in a bottle of steaming hot water. I took it out when I got to the testing place and put it in the side of my boot. The lady gave me a once over and patted me down to see if I had anything on me. I walked in poured the p!ss into the container and walked out all in about 3 min. I passed and she never even gave me a second look.

-------------------- Yeaaa im still alive.

Quote: debianlinux said: a few weeks is plenty of time to clean out naturally. stop now. for fuck's sake, if you're willing to kill people for the job then surely you can abstain for a couple weeks. don't be a pussy. Why stress myself out over it? I smoke alot of weed. I'm not very active. A few weeks very well may NOT be time enough for me to clean myself out. Why even risk it? I have access to perfectly clean piss, and its not like I'll be watched. Why the fuck should I play their game? *I'm* not anti-drug, THEY are. I'm PRO drug. The fuck if I'm going to change the way I live my life to live up to some bogus expectation of theirs. They will never know that I'm on drugs, and thats just fine with me. The end result will be the same either way, so again, why stress myself over it? Doesnt make any sense....

-------------------- After one comes, through contact with it's administrators, no longer to cherish greatly the law as a remedy in abuses, then the bottle becomes a sovereign means of direct action. If you cannot throw it at least you can always drink out of it. - Ernest Hemingway
If it is life that you feel you are missing I can tell you where to find it. In the law courts, in business, in government. There is nothing occurring in the streets. Nothing but a dumbshow composed of the helpless and the impotent.  -Cormac MacCarthy
He who learns must suffer. And even in our sleep pain that cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart, and in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom to us by the awful grace of God. - Aeschylus

quit smoking run/do somethingto make you sweat daily drink tonnes of water eat healthy drink one of those drinks you should be good. I passed two tests this way, the second time i had only quit smoking for 5 days

you touch my grandmother and I'll break you

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The ol' Piss in a Condom Trick
#5510577 - 04/13/06 08:28 AM (16 years, 2 months ago )

Re: The ol' Piss in a Condom Trick [Re: Madtowntripper ]
#5510590 - 04/13/06 08:30 AM (16 years, 2 months ago )

. [Re: Madtowntripper ]
#5510659 - 04/13/06 08:49 AM (16 years, 2 months ago )

Re: The ol' Piss in a Condom Trick [Re: Yrtlzmo ]
#5510803 - 04/13/06 09:32 AM (16 years, 2 months ago )

Re: The ol' Piss in a Condom Trick [Re: InjectTruth ]
#5510819 - 04/13/06 09:38 AM (16 years, 2 months ago )

Re: The ol' Piss in a Condom Trick [Re: Hitman203 ]
#5510826 - 04/13/06 09:40 AM (16 years, 2 months ago )

Re: The ol' Piss in a Condom Trick [Re: Madtowntripper ]
#5511765 - 04/13/06 07:20 PM (16 years, 2 months ago )

Re: The ol' Piss in a Condom Trick [Re: Madtowntripper ]
#5511798 - 04/13/06 07:29 PM (16 years, 2 months ago )

Re: The ol' Piss in a Condom Trick [Re: daimyo ]
#5515465 - 04/14/06 07:31 PM (16 years, 2 months ago )

Re: The ol' Piss in a Condom Trick [Re: debianlinux ]
#5515527 - 04/14/06 07:49 PM (16 years, 2 months ago )

Re: The ol' Piss in a Condom Trick [Re: Madtowntripper ]
#5516046 - 04/14/06 10:24 PM (16 years, 2 months ago )

Re: The ol' Piss in a Condom Trick [Re: Madtowntripper ]
#5516049 - 04/14/06 10:26 PM (16 years, 2 months ago )
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Everything you need to know about piss play, including why people like this particular kink to how to do a golden shower safely.
Sophie Saint Thomas is a New York-based writer originally from the Caribbean. She is Allure ’s resident astrologer and the author of Finding Your Higher Self: Your Guide to Cannabis for Self-Care (Adams Media), a guide to self-care and marijuana, and [*Sex Witch: Magickal Spells for Love, Lust, and... Read more
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It's Kink Month at Allure, and we're talking all about fetishes and kinks. Read more on our landing page here .
While to some, golden showers are the butt of a Donald Trump joke, to others, they are an extremely erotic experience. Golden showers are one form of piss play , which is exactly what it sounds like: sexual play involving piss. Though they may seem easy to make fun of because most of us grew up with bathroom humor, we should probably be nicer when it comes to the topic of golden showers because a lot of people are into them, and kink-shaming isn't cool .
Some people engage in golden showers as part of BDSM . BDSM involves a power exchange in which one partner is submissive and the other partner is dominant. In this particular scenario, the dominant partner typically pees on the submissive. Other people just try them out because they're horny and bored. Let's talk about all the reasons people love golden showers and what you should know if you're interested in trying out this particular kink.
This particular kink is actually incredibly ordinary, according to the experts. "Urophilia — golden showers, piss play, and the like — is such a common kink that there are piss parties full of folks who want to explore this," says New York sex therapist and relationship counselor Michael DeMarco . New York City-based professional and lifestyle dominatrix Goddess Aviva adds, "It’s so common! People love to be peed on. And quite a few of them also like to drink it." In fact, an Australian survey says that around four percent of men have a piss play fetish, and Pornhub stats show that searches for "golden shower" (along with related terms) increased exponentially in 2017 after it was alleged that Donald Trump enjoyed watersports.
There are also quite a few online communities for folks to go who are interested in golden showers. In fact, the "watersports" (another name for piss play) group on the kinky social media website FetLife boasts over 25,000 members. Additionally, there are dating apps and websites specifically tailored to folks looking to find other kinky people to hook up with, including KinkD , BDSM.com , Fetster.com , and more.
Any time you are exchanging bodily fluids, there is going to be some risk. According to Kimberly Langdon, an OB/GYN and clinical advisor at Medzino Health , it's only true that urine is sterile if the person peeing is completely healthy. "Urine can spread disease, including bacterial, fungal, and viral infections," she explains. During a golden shower, this most commonly occurs if the recipient has an open wound.
"Regarding skin contact , urine will usually cause no harm if there are no fissures, broken skin or open wounds," Langdon adds. "If this is, however, the case, then urine can cause infection if the partner urinating has a bacterial infection and the urine comes into contact with wounds and mucous membranes."
So, if you're enjoying golden showers with someone whose health status you are unsure of, make sure there are no open wounds on you, and ask them to aim somewhere besides the mouth, such as on your stomach. Discuss your health with your partner; professional dominatrixes are already on it.
"With anything where you're sharing bodily fluid, you need to make sure that you’re not sick or have any kind of infection. It’s also really important to hydrate. The other factor that you should consider, is how close you are to someone’s mouth. A way to avoid that is to be above them," Goddess Aviva says.
First off, the person performing the golden shower will probably want to drink a lot of water an hour or so beforehand. Like, a lot. It's also important to pick the right place — golden showers probably shouldn't take place in your bed. "If you’re curious about golden showers, an easy way to do it is to be in the shower or bath. And if you’re not really into it, you can rinse it off right away," Goddess Aviva says.
Once you've figured out where it's going to happen (and who it's going to happen with), make sure that all parties know what the plan is and are fully consenting. Consent is the most important part of any sex act, after all. Have everything you want for clean-up nearby, and everyone should have a safe word ready, too.
Remember what we've discussed above — that urine isn't sterile, and that the person receiving the golden shower shouldn't have any open cuts or sores. If this checks out, then you're good to go, but be patient, especially if it's the first time trying this for either of you. Lastly, when you're all done, clean off, and if you feel like it, keep the fun going .
Other than clean-up and potential risks from fluid exchange, should this be something you want to try, you just have to make peace with your desire to try giving or receiving a golden shower and then discuss it with your partner(s) so you can experience one from a place of mutual enthusiastic consent.
"Owning your sexual expression from the get-go will put you on more solid ground once you're in a relationship to be able to have awkward or challenging talks about sexuality and how your sexual expression might evolve," Langdon says. Now that you know all about piss play, there's only one thing left to do if you want to try it for yourself — go find a partner who is into it, too. Happy kink month , babes.
Read more about kinks and fetishes:
Now, watch us taste test four flavored lubes:
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