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THIS ARTICLE CONTAINS PICTURES OF PENIS FROM THE OUTSET AND THROUGHOUT.
You know what we spend a lot of time thinking about? That's right: peen.
And, of late, we’ve been giving a lot of thought to Gary Beadle's penis.
Is it comparable in length and girth to a Sky remote control, as Gary claims in his autobiography, Gaz (And My Parsnip) ?
Or is it more like a parsnip, as claimed by Charlotte Crosby back in Geordie Shore series one?
Gaz certainly seems to be packing quite a big one in this picture he's posted to Instagram. But is it all peen? Or could socks have come into play?
Gary is certainly no stranger to aggrandising his own penis:
And teasing people about little Gaz's size:
Then there was the time he went for a spray tan during Ex On The Beach and a paper thong wasn't enough to preserve his modesty.
But what about the people who have seen Gaz's parsnip?
We ran out of time tracking down all 1000 of them but we did find a Snapchat Lillie Lexie Gregg uploaded of Gaz dancing naked.
Then there was the time that Charlotte drew Gary's penis, for reasons that we're sure we made total sense at the time.
AXED Geordie Shore then and now SLIDER
Charlotte Crosby takes to the red carpet before appearing in the first ever series of MTV's Geordie Shore.
Charlotte's had a massive transformation over the years, and has been smashing it in her career since her Geordie days. She hosts Just Tattoo Of Us' has released books and fitness DVDs, and a show all about her.
Before her Geordie Shore debut, Holly Hagan looked like this.
Now, it would seem that Holly's taken some inspo from Kim K, as her look has drastically changed.
Greg appeared in Geordie Shore from the very beginning, but didn't make it past series one.
Greg was married to Hollyoaks star Jennifer Metcalfe, with whom he has a baby .
Here's Gaz before embarking on his long-running career on Geordie Shore.
In terms of poses not much has changed. But, believe it or not, this Geordie hunk has left the dating scene behind, because he's loved up with wife Emma McVey.
James's debut on Geordie Shore saw him spend 90% of his time at the gym and the remaining 10% flexing his muscles in the mirror.
'The dad of the Geordie group' Jay was the oldest member of the show. Who could forget those iconic 'brows...
And, years later, his brows are still on fleek.
Fiesty Vicky has had quite the transformation over the years...
But she's since dropped her wild days and is now engaged to Ercan Ramadan.
Sophie joined Geordie Shore show in series one, but was axed for her unacceptable behaviour two years later. She later returned to the show in 2016 with a slightly newer cast!
She's since glowed upppppppp, and is now back on the show.
Ricci joined the show in series two, and had a rollercoaster of a relationship with Vicki Pattison.
He now works as a DJ and occasional film actor.
Rebecca also joined the show in series two, and was known for her bust-ups, dramas and fallouts.
Now, she's ditched the party days and has become a mum of three.
Dan joined Geordie Shore in the fourth series and left at the end of series five.
He doesn't look all that different now, but he's certainly been enjoying life (and the gym).
Life and soul of the party Scotty T joined the show in series four.
And WHAT a career this Geordie has had. From winning Celebrity Big Brother to landing a cameo appearance in Neighbours to even having a girlfriend, he's definitely seen success in the media industry.
Marnie entered the house in series seven. Back then, she described herself a "natural beauty".
Marnie had several cosmetic procedures done since being on the show, including a nose job, lip fillers and a boob job.
Tatted-up Aaron Chalmers joined in the eighth series and had an infamous on-off relationship with Marnie. It was SO juicy to watch.
Aaron quit Geordie Shore to focus on his career as an MMA fighter, along with his spending more time on his relationship.
How young does Kyle look?! We barely even recognised this Geordie Shore star.
Well HELLO there Kyle. Talk about a transformation people.
Marty McKenna was the cheeky chappie who joined the cast along with Chantelle Connelly who didn't quite cut the mustard with the all alpha boys – especially after he played Chloe and tashed on with Charlotte behind Gaz's back.
Marty was axed from the show along with Scotty T for bad behaviour, but while Scotty was reinstated and is now one of the longest serving Geordie Shore cast members EVER, Marty didn't make the cut.He's grown some stubble, and is dating a fellow Geordie lass called Kat.
Pint size Chantelle Connelly was determined to cause chaos when she entered the house, and certainly made some enemies during her brief stint on the show.
Chantelle baffled the world over when she shared a picture of herself with some impressive abs at five months pregnant, leading some fans to speculate she was faking her pregnancy.
The longest lasting housemate from the prolific Radgie Rampage series, Abbie Holborn initially set her sights on Love Island's Sam Gowland before he got together with Chloe.
Abbie wasn't in the promo for series 19, but denied she'd been sacked when she took to Twitter to say, "Oh, I've been sacked apparently..."She later turned up a caused a stir by snogging new boy Beau Brennan, who'd been getting close to new girl Bethan Kershaw.
Quite frankly, we couldn't understand why Elettra ACTUAL Lamborghini, heiress to the actual Italian car business, was even in Newcastle in the first place.
Elettra has returned to Italy to pursue her one true dream of becoming a popstar.
As part of a fresh line up of cast members for the Radgie Rampage series for 2017, Eve Shannon broke the mould with BLONDE HAIR (shocker)
Eve had been living her best Insta-influencer life and posting plenty of sexy lingerie selfies on her social feeds. She's also got an Only Fans account, favourited by fellow G Shore alumni Holly Hagan.
Brought on for the same season, Billy Phillips didn't make enough of an impression and was axed from the show after just one series.
Still doing the rounds as a lad about 'toon, Billy looks to have settled down with a nice Geordie lass. His cousin Nat has joined the show for series 19.
Also to leave was Chelsea Barber, who fell out with long time pal Marnie Simpson in the house over Aaron Chalmers.
Chelsea dated Kyle Christie long before either of them joined the G Shore cast, and claimed that after his split from Holly Hagan he was right back in touch.
One Radge Academy to make the cut slightly longer term was Sam Bentham, who reportedly dated Charlotte Crosby way back in 2014 after meeting at one of the infamous Geordie Shore house parties.
Now heavily tattooed, Sam has put his reality TV past behind him and opened up a trendy barber shop in his native Hoults in Newcastle, and has styled the hair of Kyle Christie and Marty McKenna.
Sarah Goodhart was enrolled into the Radge Academy thanks to her links to Marty McKenna. The two dated as teenagers, and sparks instantly few between her and Marty's current squeeze Chloe Ferry.
Sarah now has 23k subscribers to her YouTube channel, where she makes honest, emotional videos about her time on Geordie Shore. Recently she uploaded an 18 minute one where she claimed producers had manipulated and taken advantage of her, leading her to quit her job before she was made permanent.
Zahida Allen entered the Geordie Shore house fresh from the more exotic coastlines of Ex on the Beach, claiming she had 'unfinished business' with Gaz Beadle.
Zahida was reportedly dropped from Geordie Shore after she failed to act upon her 'unfinished business' wit Gaz, leaving producers disappointed.
The casting of Grant Molloy was contentious from the very beginning, after Chloe Ferry threw a tantrum demanding he was removed after hearing bad things about him from friends on the 'toon. It was especially awkward when he made firm friends with Chloe's boyfriend, Sam Gowland.
After just one series on Geordie Shore, Grant returned to focusing on his two true loves – playing rugby and getting lots of tattoos.
Another day, another Geordie shake up. For series 17 the cast moved over to Australia's Golden coast. Alex MacPherson was the long haired adonis who quickly hooked up with G Shore LEDGE Sophie Kasaei.
Other than spending lots of time in the gym, Alex has clearly been missing his Geordie besties as he's been posting plenty of throwback pics to his instagram.
Bikini model Chrysten Zenoni quickly caught the eye of the lads and ruffled more than a few feathers with the girls – man handling Sam's crown jewels as well as claiming she slept with former cast member Gary Beadle while he was on a promotional tour in Oz and still together with Lillie Lexie Gregg.
Chrysten is still modeling swimwear on the Sunshine Coast, and not long after appearing on Geordie Shore joined the cast of Ex on the Beach, where she revealed she'd also had a fling with reality TV's biggest lothario, Stephen Bear .
Smiley smiley pole dancer Dee Nygen made no secret of her desire to "get a shag" in the house. She made a beeline for Adam Guthrie when he came into the house midway through the season, who later branded her "easy" – charming.
Super fit Dee has recently taken part in grueling reality show The Challenge: War of the Worlds alongside Bear and Love Island's Georgia Harrison.
Nick boasted about the fact that he'd dumped his girlfriend by text the night before filming started because he didn't want to cheat on her, and then threw a tantrum when Chloe Ferry and Sam Gowland wanted the shag pad after not seeing each other for days.
Perhaps embarrassed by his stint on the show, Nick's chosen to shun the Australian limelight and has set his social profiles to PRIVATE, which is unheard of in reality TV world.
Adam Guthrie entered the house halfway through the Gold Coast series, despite being a bona fide Geordie through and through.
Adam has been enjoying the raised profile of being on G Shore by posting lots of pouty selfies. He returned in series 19 as a part timer.
Producers decided to shake things up with Faith Mullen, a plus-sized influencer and Christian who believes sex before marriage is a sin.
Faith was originally billed to return to the show part time but declined to come back after producers hired her arch nemesis . In the mean time, she's been doing what all youths should be doing and living her best life on holiday with her mates.
Charlotte Crosby takes to the red carpet before appearing in the first ever series of MTV's Geordie Shore.
Fortunately, we came across it. The motherload. The big one.
A PICTURE OF GARY BEADLE'S ACTUAL NAKED PENIS.
Maybe it was a bit cold in the Geordie Shore bedroom that day.
Want to know more about Gary Beadle's penis? We spoke to people who have seen it with their very own eyes.
This article first appeared on heat on 6 April 2016.
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