Picnic Pussies

Picnic Pussies

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It all started a few weeks ago, when my roommates and I were discussing underwear and I revealed that I hadn’t bought any new panties in a couple of years. I didn’t realize that this would be such a big reveal until I was met with looks of panic, shock and disgust. Buying new underwear is a practice most women flock to every couple of months, after all (even if guys can keep their boxers for around seven years ). Partially due to how freaking cute new underwear is, how confident you feel when you have your sex panties on and probably due to imagined concepts of hygiene, too.
I had never gone commando before (except for a few forays into running to the shop in leggings and a massive sweater) but as a sex-posi babe, I was surprised at my own aversion to it. Why hadn’t I attempted to copy the B in Apartment 23 and become Tall Slut, No Panties?
I worried about chafing. I worried about odors. I worried about my pubes getting stuck in my zip and causing deep emotional trauma. I worried about everyone knowing I wasn’t wearing any panties and thinking of me as an unclean pervert instead of a cool hottie without the time to worry about underwear. Yet still, for the sake of science (and the sake of perversion) I decided to go one week without any panties.
For one week, I would wear no panties. I still allowed myself bras and tights because I’m not a heathen and it’s absolutely freezing at the moment. I would continue to wear a variety of outfits (as I usually do) and not let my decision to go pantless affect any other decisions in my very exciting, everyday life. Essentially, the only aspect of my lifestyle I would change was going to be my underwear — or lack thereof — and to see if this change affected my lifestyle at all.
On my first day of no undies, I opted for a dress and tights. Logically, I reasoned, the airiness of my outfit would keep my vag healthy and happy. The world was its oyster, no holding back, no restrictions of lace. I had university classes to go to but I chose not to go in — although this had no connection to my state of undress, but rather my own sheer laziness. A laziness that was rather enjoying the thought of not having to do as much laundry due to the lack of panties.
I had work that evening (kidswear at H&M) and I felt like a liberated weirdo. As I had never gone panty-less before, I was extremely aware of my own lack of panty protection. I was also very aware of how short my dress was and how unacceptable it felt to be commando in my work environment. At the same time, I loved my (literal) dirty little secret. It’s a very simple way to feel like a deviant without going through all the effort of cheating on your husband or killing your ex-best friend.
I also ended up going out drinking after work and with excessive amounts of alcohol, I completely forgot that I was going commando. However, I’m sure the feeling of freedom was one that drunk me rather enjoyed (she’s a very liberal kind of gal).
I awoke to day two with a horrendous hangover and a want for the whole world to end so I wouldn’t have to go to work. Not wearing panties was not something that I had to think about that morning — I was focusing more on not being sick on myself and trying not to die.
Honestly, I completely forgot that I was going commando until I went to the bathroom, and when I was shopping after work and one of the Benefit makeup artists told me that my skirt was tucked into my tights. As an avid thong wearer, if I had been wearing panties it would have made little difference; the whole shopping center would have witnessed the entirety of my ass crack either way. I was honestly too hungover to give a shit about most things on day two, let alone my experimentations into underwear.
It would be all too easy for me to lie about my week going commando and pretend I did it all week, but as a pioneer in panty-less-ness, I have to be honest. On day three I wanted to wear an amazing dress I got in the H&M sale for $5 (when doesn’t H&M have a sale?) but I also needed to wear panties with it — partially because underneath the floor-length sheer skirt was only a mini skirt and I didn’t want to wear tights, partially because I use my panties to silhouette my VBO (visible belly outline).
I can promise you, I looked slamming and the sacrifice to my experiment was fully justified. However, after two days without panties, the adjustment to wearing them again — having to pull them out of my crack again — was hard to get used to. As my panties had become extremely noticeable and irritating to me, I considered a future where one day I would give them up altogether.
During the day, I went for tights and a dress again — I’m getting a little predictable here — and had a pretty uneventful day for a commando commander. Yet I picked up a lot more excitement in the evening, when at 11 p.m. I rang one of my besties to demand she let me accompany her on a night out. On a night when one floor of the venue was themed "Paramore vs. My Chemical Romance" and the other was "Lady Gaga vs. Britney," how could I ever consider not going to that? I donned a teeny tiny bralette and a sequined pencil skirt to hide my panty-less state and show off my exquisite breasts.
Again, I got horribly drunk. Again, due to the drunkenness, I forgot that I wasn’t wearing undies — until I finally climbed into bed at 6 a.m. and realized my alcohol and loneliness fueled masturbation session had less inebriated layers to get through.
The worst thing about being so hungover — the thing that practically makes you vomit into your bedside bin — isn’t not wearing underwear but having to go to work for six hours. However, the no panties problem still stuck with me throughout the day as I considered the likeliness of having a bowl accident and the lack of layers to deal with such a situation. As it turned out, I didn’t poo myself and not wearing underwear made my leggings as pants look feel more comfortable and look cuter IMO.
On the sixth day of commando week, my true love said to me, try wearing something other than tights to give legitimacy to your experiment. I wore my favorite pair of mom jeans on day six — a look I’d been purposefully avoiding due to a terror about a rough denim texture against my lady garden. In reality, due to the loose style of mom jeans and my own pubic wig, the jeans didn’t affect my nether regions at all. In fact, due to the lack of tight tights or tight underwear, I felt more vaginally liberated in this outfit than any other. The space around my crotch was freeing in ways I simply cannot describe.
I was kind of sad (not pictured) to reach the end of my experiment and I wish I’d gone out with more of a bang — a "flashing my minge to a bunch of strangers" kind of bang. Instead, I went to work in a different pair of jeans and unleashed a seventh level kind of hell on my vagina. The issues I experienced from my slightly tighter pair of mom jeans (the only other pair of jeans I own, having only recently rediscovered denim due to a previous fear of looking awful in anything that wasn’t a skater skirt) were never ending. DO NOT GO COMMANDO IN TIGHT JEANS. What an awful end to my liberating week of letting my vag wander as free as a very free thing.
Overall, I’d say my foray into the world of going commando left me with a sense that I can be even lazier about my laundry, as it isn’t the end of the world when I run out of panties . I also learned that when growing out your bangs, it's only possible to have one hairstyle that doesn't look horrendous (and maybe it's not this one). For going commando, I also discovered that the choice of outfit for not wearing panties is very important — I REPEAT, DO NOT GO COMMANDO IN TIGHT JEANS! My favorite aspect of this experiment, however, was not the liberation or the ease of wanking, but that if you fart whilst not wearing panties, it makes much less sound.
Want more body positivity? Check out the video below, and be sure to subscribe to Bustle’s YouTube page for more self love inspo!

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All of your favorite seasonal sides in one place.
In the summer, when the days are long and sunny and your kids practically live outside, picnics make for an ideal meal! Here, we're sharing our all-time favorite picnic side dishes to help you plan a perfect day. Throw a blanket down and get ready to browse through some great options.
Of course, if you're new to the picnic-planning game, you might be wondering where to begin. We suggest taking a peek at our favorite summer recipes to decide on a main (or two!), then heading back here to figure out the best sides to complement your choice. We've got you covered with dozens of hearty salads, crowd-pleasing casseroles, and plenty of classic picnic foods—all of which double as excellent Fourth of July appetizers to accompany delicious grilling recipes . You'll also find dishes that are great for both kids and adults, so there's no need to worry about picky eaters.
The best thing about these special side dishes, of course, is that you don't actually need to wait to have a picnic to whip up one of them. Try them as part of your BBQ sides , incorporate them into a casual weeknight meal, or add a few to your big Sunday dinner spread.
Include this vibrant herby potato salad to your picnic menu. It'll pair with so many main courses!
These whipped deviled eggs are a little lighter than the normal type, finished off with fresh dill.
For a side that will hold up well if you're traveling to a picnic, these no-cook stuffed baby peppers are perfect.
Jalapeño poppers might not travel well for a picnic, but this jalapeño popper potato salad will! It's a hearty, flavorful side for any occasion.
Full of artichokes, feta cheese, and fresh pesto, this delicious pasta salad could make for a tasty side or main dish.
It doesn't get more vibrant than this arugula salad to bring for a picnic. The fresh cilantro and dill really pop in each bite.
This decadent salad is loaded with bacon, cheddar cheese, and ranch dressing. It's such a delicious hearty side.
Put a twist on your deviled eggs with this herb-infused recipe. Fresh dill and chives make for a memorable bite.
Creamy potato salad is paired with crunchy celery and crispy bacon in this easy recipe.
For a crispy, Southern-inspired side at your picnic, this fried okra will be a perfect treat.
No picnic is complete without potato salad. This one, which features an amped-up mustard vinaigrette, is decidedly different.
A rainbow of veggies will delight all of your guests—particularly the youngest ones. Mini sweet peppers, carrots, and cabbage turn this side dish into something truly spectacular.
This refreshing watermelon salad is filled with ingredients that add texture and color. We're big fans of the addition of crunchy cucumber.
Heavy cream, butter, and fresh corn are a delightful combo. Pro tip: Keep this simple, yet decadent, side dish in mind for Thanksgiving too.
As much as we love a smooth, creamy pasta dish, sometimes you just need a little crunch for balance. Jicama and radish get the job done in this easy recipe.
We love having corn in some form on our picnic table! Don't love it on the cob? In this salad recipe, you'll cut the kernels off and toss them with a bright cilantro vinaigrette instead.
This homemade strawberry butter is the flavorful condiment you never knew you needed. It adds sweetness to any picnic—and who doesn't love a pop of pink in their meal?
Parsley, jalapeños, and a rich bacon-butter mixture transform the classic corn on the cob recipe into an unforgettable one.
Our favorite picnic dishes are the ones we can serve cold. This tangy and delicious pasta salad recipe fits the bill, and couldn't be easier to transport and serve.
Bitter Brussels sprouts and tons of fruit contrast beautifully in this sweet salad. The basil-based vinaigrette takes it to the next level.
Give guac the grilling treatment, and you'll never go back to the way you used to eat it. A charred, smoky finish makes this recipe unforgettable.
This savory, yet sweet, salad offers tons of different textures, flavors, and colors. It's a tried-and-true option for any picnic.
Finger foods make for the best picnic fare. These miniature chicken pot pies are just as delicious as their full-sized counterparts.
Here's a slaw recipe that's even more refreshing than the ones you grew up enjoying. The unexpected addition of spicy jalapeño gives it a fun kick.
Tote this kale salad to your next picnic, and your neighbors will beg for seconds. The recipe includes plenty of crispy bacon—and we all know everything's better with bacon.
A sweet curry vinaigrette is the perfect addition to this bright salad.
Crunchy cucumber slices and ripe cherry tomatoes add to the appeal of this summery side. It's a necessary addition to any picnic menu.
The garlicky dressing is one of our favorite things about this fresh, flavorful salad. And since it's orzo-based, it's actually filling too.
Salty-sweet prosciutto-wrapped cantaloupe is one of the easiest recipes on this list—but it'll instantly elevate your picnic.
Oh, those gorgeous grill marks! Be still, our hearts.

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Picnic Pussies

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