Pick-Up Japanese

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You get butterflies in your stomach when you see them, and you just can’t seem to keep that smile off of your face.
Maybe you’ve met while gaming with them , or you’ve bonded over your mutual love of reading manga . Or you may have just seen them on the street, or at a bar or restaurant.
You just know that they’re the one you want to be with, but you’re not quite sure how to go about it.
Never fear because today we’re going to talk about how to use Japanese pick-up lines to sweet talk that someone that you’re sweet on.


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Before we begin, a word of caution: Be careful with these pick-up lines, since using them haphazardly could be seen an inappropriate. Don’t approach a stranger in a bar and start spouting off lines to them. The words might be right, but they won’t work very well. Nothing is more of a turn off than someone who just doesn’t get it.
The romances you develop with a Japanese person may move much more slowly than the ones that you’re used to if you live in a western country, and that’s often reflected in the words and phrases used in Japanese to talk about love . Don’t be worried if it’s going “too slow” for your version of normal—you may be right on track. Group hangouts early in the relationship aren’t a blow-off, nor is a lack of physical contact. Remember the culture of the person you’re seeing and be respectful of it.
One other note is to be careful with your gendered statements . Remember, Japanese is a pretty gender-sensitive language. If a woman uses words with a male gender, she might be considered “masculine” by the general population.
For example, the words 僕 (ぼく) or 俺 (おれ)—to say “me” or “mine”—should only be used by men. Women say 私 (わたし) or 私 (わたくし) , which is considered more polite. (Though they can be used by men as well, if they want to be more polite.) So watch your informal pronouns to make sure you’re sending the right message.
It’s great to be who you are, just be sure you’re expressing yourself the way you mean to. Don’t let a language mix-up keep you from the person of your dreams.
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Now let’s talk about some of the lines that you can use to meet, flirt with and win the heart of that special someone.
During initial dating, there’s a kind of “pre-game.” Early dating often begins in a group situation. You’ll go out with mutual friends, or a group of your friends and a group of her/his friends. It would be wise to only bring friends of the same sex. Bringing a friend of the opposite sex can be misinterpreted by your crush .
Once you start dating, know your street etiquette. PDAs aren’t too common in Japan. Romantic gestures such as hugging and kissing are considered best kept private. Holding hands can be acceptable, but couples holding hands aren’t seen very often on the street.
For those of you who aren’t looking for a male-female relationship, consider doing some reading on how Japanese culture views homosexual and other non-traditional relationships . That way, you can make sure you’re going in with all of the information you need before you talk to your crush. Most mainstream advice is still written for male-female couples only, unfortunately, but that doesn’t have to get in the way of your romance. Just be sure that you’re aware.
There are also a few other notable subcultures in Japan that would warrant further research if you’re interested, such as love dolls and virtual dating , both of which play roles in Japanese romantic culture.
In any case, during the early stages of getting to know someone, the compliments should be light and sweet. Don’t lay it on too thick.
Let’s say you want to tell your companion that they look beautiful. Maybe you want to ask them if they happen to be a model? Try it with:
綺麗ですね。もしかしてモデルさん?
(きれいですね。もしかして もでるさん？)
You look beautiful. Are you a model?
Of course, everyone loves a compliment, and while basing a relationship entirely on looks isn’t going to work in the long term, it will help you to start off on a good foot, especially if said with a bit of humor.
But what if you’re a beginning Japanese learner and even that seems too ambitious? Here’s a good one to try:
すみません、英語が分かりますか？
(すみません、えいごが わかりますか？)
Excuse me. Do you understand English?
If you’re not too strong in Japanese and you’re hoping that your crush can meet you halfway, then this is a viable option for getting your first conversation started. And of course, if you need a little bit of help with your pick-up lines, there’s an app for that .
Eventually you’ll likely want to ask the person out. You could use a simple, straightforward phrase like:
付き合ってくれる？
(つきあってくれる？)
Will you go out with me?
It’s the classic question, right to the point. Your intentions won’t be mistaken. Just be sure to spend some time getting to know your crush first. If you lead with this, you’ll increase your chances of rejection.
If you’re looking for something more subtle, you could try something like:
仕事帰りですか？もし良かったら、飲みに行きませんか？
(しごとがえり ですか？もしよかったら、のみに いきませんか？)
Are you going home? Would you like to grab a drink with me?
It’s a little smoother, and you can use it to seem a bit more casual. Some other more casual, but not ambiguous options include:
遊びに行こう！
(あそびに いこう!)
Let’s hang out!
二人で行こう！
(ふたりで いこう！)
Let’s go together!
一緒にいたい！
( /いっしょに いたい！)
I want to spend time with you.
If you’re the shy type, you might want to get help from a friend. In that case, you might want to go with something like:
誰か紹介してくれませんか？
(だれか しょうかいしてくれませんか？)
Could you introduce me to (hook me up with) someone?
It’ll help you get started. It’s not exactly asking someone out, but when you find a person you trust who can help you get your love life kick-started, then it’s worth a shot. Maybe they can help you with that special someone.
After several group outings, you might be able to go somewhere more private for a one-on-one date. Common locations for these kinds of dates are movies, parks and cafes, but there are some other appropriate options .
Among Japanese young people (high school and college-aged students), two people start dating by making a “love confession.” That’s where the phrases “I like you” and “I love you” below might come into play. Just know that it’s not uncommon for a woman to confess her love to a man, so don’t be surprised if it happens.
Dating often becomes something more when people express their feelings. When it comes to talking about your feelings, then you have two options. For lesser feelings, say:
This provides you with a solid option. If you feel more, then you can say:
You’re beyond casual dating and you’re looking to get closer.
If you’re looking for “labels,” the word for “ boyfriend ” is 彼氏 (かれし) or 彼 (かれ), and “girlfriend” is 彼女 (かのじょ), though it’s best to check with the person before you label them this way. It’s just more respectful of your partner.
To become more physically intimate, try:
手をつなごう！
(てをつなごう！)
Let’s hold hands!
It’s a small but good first step on the path to physical intimacy.
If you want a hug, then you can get close by saying:
Just make sure you get a “yes” before you go in for the kiss.
One other key sentence you may also hear is:
ホテル行こう。
ほてる いこう。
Let’s go to a hotel.
You may not think much of this, but when two people go to a hotel when they’re in a romantic relationship or are considering/starting one, you know what happens. This is one way of getting your point across without being too straightforward.
Just in case things go really, really well, you should know how to propose to your sweetie:
結婚してくれる？
(けっこん してくれる？)
Will you marry me?
Of course, you should bear in mind that you should know that person, and their family, very well. Don’t jump in too quickly.
One last note: every person and every situation is different. But there are some general rules that you can follow to make sure that you understand what’s going on.
With some patience, the right lines and some time, you could soon find yourself dating the person of your dreams. Just remember to respect their culture and take it slow. Who knows, you might find that you enjoy this more intimate pacing!


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can take anywhere.
Click here to get a copy. (Download)


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The Ultimate Guide to Picking up Girls in Japan
I had no idea how to go about picking up girls in Japan when I first arrived. I stumbled upon a lot of old forum posts which contained a bunch of unnecessary, outdated, and/or badly organized information. What follows is a guide on picking up girls in Japan – nothing more, nothing less. It will help you achieve whatever your goals are – from getting laid in Japan for the first time, building a massive harem, or just getting a Japanese girlfriend. This is the resource I wish I had when I first started.
Before we dive into the nitty gritty technical aspects of picking up women in Japan, it’s important to give an overview of the major cultural differences between Japan and the West. If you’re like me, having grown up in the West (North America / Europe / Australia + NZ), you’ve been taught a certain narrative regarding proper dating practice, which generally goes something like this:
-Meet a girl through your social circle, work, hobbies, or some other shared context (aka NOT cold approach).
-Talk to her one (or often more) times before exchanging contact information.
-Schedule a coffee date (D2), chat for an hour or two
-Schedule a dinner date (D3), perhaps end it with a kiss.
-Around D4, both parties can reasonably expect things to escalate to sex if everything else has been going well up to that point.
Upon arrival in Japan, you may find it more difficult to create meaningful friend groups, meet large quantities of people (cute women included), and be baffled by the different dating “scripts” which often leave guys left in the cold after only one date.
Forget what you’ve heard about Japan’s prudishness and the “sexless society” – in the massive metropolis of Tokyo, life moves fast and both men and women whip through dating prospects at a dizzying rate. Often, one date is all you get – regardless of whether it went well or not. Japanese women are NOT strangers to sex, nor are they shy, virtuous creatures which demand lots of restraint. On the contrary – holding back and being a “respectful gentleman” often will just leave you on the sidelines as she’s getting pounded by the buzz-cut young forklift operator or spiky-haired and charismatic young salaryman.
Imagining you will arrive on these shores as a masculine god and blow away the competition offered by seemingly timid and sexually ambivalent Japanese men is simply a delusion. As a major metropolis where there is (despite what you may have heard) no shortage of available, successful, sexually aggressive Japanese men, the most attractive women – the cream of the crop – are overflowing with suitable dating matches. Simply put, you aren’t going to beat Japanese guys at their own game. You can, however, position yourself in a unique niche – a foreigner who is cool (unlike the hordes of neckbearded anime nerds they associate “foreigner” with), sexworthy, understands their world (again, the world that is NOT comic conventions and masturbating to hentai porn), and is aware of how to make them comfortable.
Western pickup materials like RSD also often miss the mark when it comes to picking up girls in Japan, giving misleading teachings which actually HURT you more than help you. While much of their mindset advice can be on point, some technical applications – while helpful in the West – are actually harmful if applied directly in Japan. Here are some examples of specific things Western pickup companies teach which will MESS YOU UP if you try them in Japan (or at least not be the best approach)
Time is your friend. The more time you spend with a girl, the higher your chances are.
Taking your time more often than not will end up with the girl fading herself out or abruptly stopping contact without explanation. Instead, gun for the lay and add value after the fact to keep them around.
Going for a hard stop on the street.
Hot, high quality girls will rarely, if ever, stop for you if you get in their way or upon the open. Instead, walk with them.
Waiting until the club closes to pull the girl home. Hang around befriending everyone until you’re the one who is “going out the door” with the girl.
If you hold your dick for several hours in a Japanese club with a girl, chances are the interaction will stall out and when it comes time to leave the club, she’ll dart off into a train with her friends. Instead, pull hard before the club closes.
Don’t worry about back-and-forth banter or cutting witticisms which are often misconstrued as simply mean remarks. Enjoy each other’s company, share your world and learn about hers, and pull at the end.
Touching the girl quickly and often will usually put her on the defensive. Personal space bubbles are smaller in Japan, but more rigid. There is no hugging culture, and body contact is minimal, even among friends and family. Save your overt kino escalation for when you are isolated with the girl.
While Japanese women are no strangers to sexuality, most people speak far less about sex to strangers in Japan. Insinuating sexuality over text, going for wink-wink-nudge-nudge type jokes, or eliciting sexual experiences often backfires in Japan, and you don’t need it at all. Focus on your own masculine polarity instead – voice tone, body language, leadership. Everything else will follow.
There are hundreds of other small examples but you get the point. Much of the pickup advice from the West should stay in the West – it simply does not apply. Other things, especially mindset related – such as abundance, momentum, self-improvement, taking action, reframing, etc, are still applicable. So take what you hear from Western sources with a huge grain of salt so you don’t get messed up when starting out in Japan.
If you’d like to hear my complete breakdown of pickup in Japan, check out this video:
There are generally three types of women in Japan, and each of these groups have pretty rigid boundaries (though the odd exception might pop up here or there). Even girls under 20 generally have an idea of which type they will become and are in the “baby form” of that type until they evolve.. Like a.. Pokemon…. Yeah. Understanding this will help you greatly to hook up in Japan.
Type A : Middle to upper-class, will study hard in high school, go to a university, join a few circles and play some sports or a musical instrument, then graduate and join a Japanese company where they’ll become an OL (office lady). They generally speak some English, have black hair, and more plain/conservative clothing. More likely to look like an Asian “plain jane” and have basic hobbies and interests like Disney and K-pop. Sometimes they want to get married, but more recently they often simply want to continue their career. Most foreigners end up with this type of girl.
Type B : Beautiful lower to middle class girls will be lured away from University by (certain kinds of) opportunity. In high school, where the Type A girls are studying hard, Type B girls quickly realize they can get money, boys, and pretty much anything they want simply by the grace of their good looks. They tend to dye their hair, get nails and nice clothes, and most commonly end up working in beauty (hair/nails/makeup/aesthetic salons), fashion (retail/modeling), or nightlife (hostess/girls bar/prostitute). Since their reality is the farthest from foreigners, most foreigners without a deep understanding of their values and circumstance (as well as decent Japanese) have a harder time getting these kinds of girls. Similarly, many of these girls lack any deep interest in foreign things and have little English ability. Do NOT make the mistake in thinking these girls are “dumb”, however, as they are usually far more socially intelligent than the average guy.
Type C : Girls who have neither looks nor the impetus/ability to go to university end up working menial jobs like convenience stores, karaoke, izakayas, etc. We won’t spend much time talking about these girls, since most guys are interested in Types A or B; however, some guys just want a “normal girlfriend” and this type of girl can fit that mold as well.
Girls in the Type B category – those who never go to University (except perhaps a 専門学校, senmongakkou or two-year trade college), and thus often have little English ability/interest and not much experienc
https://www.fluentu.com/blog/japanese/japanese-pick-up-lines/
https://attractionjapan.com/picking-up-girls-in-japan/
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Pick-Up Japanese