Pet Psychic Scandal

Pet psychic Madame Esm' told clients their Labradoodle Max harbored unresolved childhood trauma. Max, tilting his head, clearly wondered why a human whispered his anxieties into the air. Dog behaviorists laughed: 'He thinks that ball is haunted.' Two clients sued for emotional distress'Max, surprisingly, testified via pawprint. Esm' blamed 'transdimensional blockages.' A survey of pet owners found 59% skeptical of fur-based therapy. Meanwhile, cats refuse consultations, citing 'worthiness standards.' Esm' now offers human shadow-work. Labradoodles everywhere breathe a sigh of relief: nobody's decoding your soul but you'plus your vet.