Personal skills

Personal skills

"One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn't do" - Henry Ford

Personal skills development, minimalism is mostly about that. That is why sometimes I will be telling about what should be developed or which skills I want to develop myself. 

Today, I want to talk about fear and becoming fearless in social terms. Being extremely cautious about offending people, nervous of what others think of you, fear of crossing someone. Going with the steam, doing something and looking at others. These people are spineless, without any character and individuality. Even if you have a high position in a company or doing really useful work, everyone else will be looking down at you. This fear is poisonous for a character and killing individuality. Such folks are called "yes-men". 

Why am I talking about this? Well, even though I am not absolutely cautious about others, but do have this fear sometimes. As long as I live, this was one of my main problems and even though I have overcome this feeling, sometimes it strikes back. The only result that comes out is your shame and nothing can be worse than being ashamed of yourself. A real individual with a strong character should be fearless in words, actions and thoughts. 

So far, I am just in a stage of developing this skill, it is getting better, but I wish to do it faster and sharply. No wishy-washy person can do anything great and meaningful. No yes, man can do it. 

How to develop fearless in a social context? 

Extremely easy. Firstly, you analyze objectively and think if you have this sort of fear (but you should be completely honest with yourself). If you need something, just go and get it. That doesn't mean that you are rude if you do it with manners and in a gentle way. "Just do it, don't let your dreams be dreams" - this fun catchphrase is actually useful. Next step - practice. Challenge yourself all the time, at every place when you have a possibility to do it. Overcoming this fear every now and then is the only thing that can help. Here is a little hint: don't relax. My main problem is underestimating of the fear - I can do smth that I am proud of, but little extra- cautiousness in anything else makes me even more ashamed of myself. How to challenge yourself? It depends upon your fears: afraid of speaking to others or just bad at negotiating - start being an initiator of the conversation, its engine; afraid of going to new places - guess what, do it few times till you get confident with it. All I am trying to say is most of our fears are stupid and rather dumb, we shouldn't excuse these fears, the only thing that should be done is change.

Even though my solution is obvious, the main thing is to find your problem, so you can work it over.