Perfect Smooth Pussy

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Perfect Smooth Pussy

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Elite Daily writer Jamie Leelo spoke to a former vag waxer by the name of Mel who broke down all the ins and outs of the thousands of vaginas she saw, and came up with FIVE major vagina archetypes.
Of course, not all vaginas fit into these categories, and, hell, what are categories anyway? As Mel noted, "This isn’t a mathematic algorithm. This is just to help women understand this weird ‘secret’ [the appearance of our vaginas] we keep from our friends and society at large is not as scandalous or peculiar as we may have thought."
But, for simplicity's sake, we're gonna refer to the vulva here as a vagina, mmkay? Also, these all have "Ms." names, but ANYBODY can have a vagina.
The Barbie look features a vag where the labia majora (outer vagina lips) completely contain the labia minora (inner vagina lips).
This vag model is much more common .

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Just when I finally got used to the side boob .
Just when I finally got used to the side hair shave .
Comes another side THING that is beautiful and impossible and horrifying and I cannot look away:
— David Richman (@DRich_what) April 1, 2016
The side vag is my new favourite term. It’s the result of what happens when you succumb to the latest high-crotched fashion trend and let your fleshy front lady area see the light of day. And it’s coming to a beach, a red carpet, or an Instagram shot near you.
In Venice recently, it was side-vag for days:
And, pre-robbery, Kim Kardashian was letting the gentle winds of France caress her front cheeks.
A photo posted by Kim Kardashian West (@kimkardashian) on Sep 17, 2016 at 9:27pm PDT
It's yet another astonishing feat for women in 2016. Up until now we've been concerning ourselves with the brave feats of fighting for equal pay, starting AFL leagues and running for President of the United States.
It's time we tipped our hats to those brave souls involved in side-vaggery.
Firstly, respect for the enormous amount of danger factor involved. Step a millimetre too far, and suddenly your bikini seam has been swallowed up by your lady pocket. And for pete's sake don't even THINK about moving sideways or you'll end up in a Malaysian prison.
Secondly, the intensity and effort it goes to ensure your side vag is display-quality cannot be underestimated. Can you imagine? How is it possible to remain hairless, without the pockmarked scars of ingrown picking, or the ugly red bumps of another $29 triple-x from Essential Beauty?
Not all heroes wear capes. Some of them wear really high-crotch things.
Side vaggers laugh in the face of their waxer when she says "this is going to hurt".
Side vaggers spit their champagne out at 1800's ladies who were considered scandalous when they flashed their ankle.
Side vaggers know where their best side is at.
So this summer, ladies, be armed with the knowledge that your vag doesn't have to lie dormant, meekly covered. Get your little muff wings out. It's what fashion wants you to do. Just remember a couple of things:
And please, don't forget to slip, slop and slap the sides too.
Monique Bowley is the host of Mamamia Out Loud. It's the award-winning weekly podcast with what women are talking about. Subscribe in itunes or listen to the full episode here:
this is just a revision and an attempted resurgence of the high hip french cut that really doesnt look good on anyone unless you're trying to make your hips look gigantic...are dickies going to be next??

(Image credit: Design by Bridget Burns/Getty Images)
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They don't beat around the bush. (Or lack thereof).
With all the talk of women being shamed (opens in new tab) for their body hair, it's truly a gift when celebs actually get candid about their personal grooming rituals. Not just because we're unabashedly curious, but because we're baffled that the subject is still considered taboo. Here, we celebrate the stars who go on the record about their hair maintenance—from waxing tales to reclaiming the bush.
The star of Netflix's Glow (opens in new tab) had to contend with some seriously high cut silhouettes for her role as a wrestler in the '80s-era show, and in an interview (opens in new tab) with Entertainment Weekly, Brie noted how tough it was to keep her bikini line clean for the job: "I think during that era they must have been shaving, or were they just pushing all their pubic hair in the center? There are some nude scenes on the show and I'd say, well you'll have to put a merkin on me— that's a pubic hair wig —'cause if we see full body…I'm working with something that will look good in our costume."
Ashley Graham, forever a champion (opens in new tab) of owning your body and your choices, recently appeared in Glamour (opens in new tab) and had the best response when a reader asked the question, "Am I the only single woman with a bush?" Her answer? "Honey, I have a full bush. Period. It's about your preference and your partner's preference." Couldn't have said it better ourselves.
To promote the third year of her infamous SlutWalk (opens in new tab) , Amber Rose took to Instagram and defied its strict nudity rules with a shot of herself lounging with her bush on full display. After the post was deleted, Amber Rose called on her fans to recreate the photo with the hashtag #AmberRoseChallenge on behalf of "feminism, body positivity and not conforming to society norms of how we should live, what we should wear and where we should shave."
Along with her affinity for baths, we learned much more about Watson's head-to-toe beauty routine via an interview with Into the Gloss (opens in new tab) , specifically her love for a certain Fur oil product (opens in new tab) : "I'll use that anywhere from the ends of my hair to my eyebrows to my pubic hair. It's an amazing all-purpose product."
Celebrities, they're just like us?...turns out Ellen Page's anxiety dreams don't involve work or being chased, but pubic hair. On Conan (opens in new tab) , Page dove into her subconscious' obsession with all things pubes, saying that many dreams feature her looking down and realizing that she has a crazy amount of hair down there. As she puts it, "It might as well be an old man's beard."
Gaby Hoffman has filmed many scenes for Amazon's Transparent where her full-and-proud lady bush is on open display. After fielding questions about her choice to go unwaxed for the scenes, she very eloquently set the record straight to U.K.'s Evening Standard . She said,"I'm a human, I have hair…when people want me to talk about whether I think the bush is back, and whether that's great for feminism, I'm like, 'You know what's great for feminism? Respecting everybody's own choice.'" Amen, sister.
Seth Rogen—yes, really—went on the record on Late Night with Conan O'Brien about his pubic hair after posing for Playboy, where he joked about his fluctuations in manscaping. He said, "It's been a lifelong battle for me personally. I used to trim them and they would grow back thicker, so where I'm at now with it is I let them grow out then I put them in a bun." Trendy!
Kim Kardashian once told Allure (opens in new tab) : "I am Armenian, so of course I am obsessed with laser hair removal! Arms, bikini, legs, underarms…my entire body is hairless." Alas, her sister Khloé revealed that Kim "now says she wishes she still had a li'l something going on," during a stream on her new app.
According to Khloé Kardashian, her sister Kourtney is "large and in charge with a full '70s-style bush," and that was pretty evident during an episode of KUWTK when her then-boyfriend Scott Disick helped her groom things down there for an upcoming photo shoot.
Never one to sugarcoat things, Khloé Kardashian revealed all her thoughts about pubic hair. "I'm all about the landing strip," she explained on her app. "I like to be clean; I like to be manicured. When there's nothing there, it's weird, in my opinion—especially when you have tits and an ass. It just freaks me out a little bit. I don't like looking at an adult woman and seeing nothing down there. Whenever I'm at the spa, it just makes me uncomfortable when I see that. But then again, it also makes me uncomfortable when I see something wild and untamed."
They say a picture is worth a thousand words and we concur, especially when it comes to Miley Cyrus' now-infamous snap (opens in new tab) , in which she shows off hot pink underarm hair, as well as what appears to be a full-grown bush peeking out of her underwear. "Can't be tamed," indeed.
A similar supporter of the full bush movement was Lady Gaga, who was photographed (opens in new tab) for Candy magazine in 2013 wearing a coat and nothing much else, revealing her gloriously unwaxed lady bits.
Kotb—a landing strip gal herself—is a firm believer that your pubic hair grooming method is very telling about your personality: "If you have a landing strip, you're the kind of girl who never has to pay for date, you only wear a thong, and you'll attempt things you know you're gonna be successful at," she said during a taping of Kathy Lee and Hoda .
"Now, if you do bald, and there are people who do, you never do anything halfway, your dishwasher's perfect, you're OCD...everything's in line. And if you don't do a thing down there, you probably don't own a flat iron...you sing Joni Mitchell in the shower, and you order your steaks plain."
Back in 2010, Solange—hero—tweeted (opens in new tab) , "Who ever invented the bikini wax was an evil creature. Who said bushes need to b gone?!" And to that we say, preach .
J.Lo agrees, bikini waxes are not for everyone. "I don't love waxing," she told Allure (opens in new tab) . "I just don't like everybody...up in the business, you know what I mean? I shave everywhere; the only thing I wax is my eyebrows. It's torture plucking the hairs out one by one."
When Paltrow hit a red carpet showing off major side-butt in 2013 (opens in new tab) , it sparked conversation about her pubic hair, or rather lack thereof. Paltrow set the record straight confessing that while she was going bare during that appearance, she's not typically one for a manicured look. "Well, let's just say everyone went scrambling for a razor," she told Ellen Degeneres (opens in new tab) . "I work a '70s vibe. You know what I mean?" All too well, Gwynnie.
During a Playboy cover shoot, McCarthy shocked the set with her full-on bush. "All of a sudden I hear 'Whoa, whoa!' And I said, 'Is there anything on it? What's wrong?'" McCarthy told Oprah (opens in new tab) . "They said they never saw anyone as hairy as you in their entire life!"
As the author of The Body Book , Diaz has some serious food for thought when it comes to permanent hair removal. "Women undergoing laser hair removal on all of their lady bits," she writes. "Personally, I think permanent laser hair removal sounds like a crazy idea. Also, let's be honest: just like every other part of your body, your labia major is not immune to gravity. Do you really want a hairless vagina for the rest of your life? It's a personal decision, but I'm just putting it out there: Consider leaving your vagina fully dressed, ladies." We're going to need a minute...
JLH helped coin the term "vajazzled" when she confessed, "After a breakup, a friend of mine Swarovski-crystalled my precious lady, and it shined like a disco ball," on Lopez Tonight (opens in new tab) . She went to devote an entire chapter to the phenomenon in her book The Day I Shot Cupid .
Winslet has been such a dedicated waxer through the years, it once required her to go the faux route for a role. "I had to grow the hair down there," she told Allure (opens in new tab) . "But because of years of waxing, as all of us girls know, it doesn't come back quite the way it used to. They even made me a merkin—a wig—because they were so concerned that I might not be able to grow enough."

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