Perfect Orgasm
🔞 ALL INFORMATION CLICK HERE 👈🏻👈🏻👈🏻
Perfect Orgasm
10 Tips For Having The Most Intense Orgasm Of Your Life
3. Insist upon foreplay so you can get super turned on.
4. Get used to being a little bit selfish—not just in bed, but in life.
5. Figure out exactly what your clitoris likes.
6. But don't only focus on your clitoris—make sure to mind your mons .
7. Bring in the G-spot for reinforcement.
9. Don't be too shy to use your hand or a vibrator during sex.
Zahra Barnes joined SELF in November 2015, working on the Culture and Health teams before eventually becoming Executive Editor. She has spent her career as a reporter and editor covering people's lives with a focus on wellness.
Zahra specializes in sexual, reproductive, and mental health, all with the goal of destigmatizing... Read more
The Best Sex Toys for You, Based on Your Zodiac Sign
The 34 Best Sex Toys for Every Person and Situation
10 Things That May Happen to Your Body When You Stop Birth Control
How to Master the Art of Shaving Your Pubic Hair
A 20-Minute Low-Impact Kettlebell Cardio Workout
How to Know if It’s Love—or Just Infatuation
3 Ways to Cut Back on Drinking When the World Is Stressing You Out
3 Quick Running Drills That Can Help You Be a Better Runner
Discover new workout ideas, healthy-eating recipes, makeup looks, skin-care advice, the best beauty products and tips, trends, and more from SELF.
Happy National Orgasm Day! Yup, July 31 is the one day of the year dedicated to praising orgasms. Although fun holidays like this one and others in the same vein—National Margarita Day, anyone?—aren't as established as, say, the Fourth of July, they're still worth celebrating. And when it comes to National Orgasm Day, the best way to celebrate is by hanging out in bed (or in the kitchen, or on the living room rug, or some other inventive locale) and having an experience that redefines the word "climax." Here, experts explain 10 techniques to help your vagina feel like it's Christmas in July.
Touching yourself solo can help you understand exactly what you do or don't like in a way partnered sex can't. "Getting to know your own body and the type of pressure and friction that feel good really sets a template for knowing how to arouse yourself and have an orgasm during sex ," sex therapist and licensed marriage and family therapist Ian Kerner , Ph.D., author of She Comes First , tells SELF.
Fantasies can help you forget about the anxieties of day-to-day life, feel less inhibited, and home in on your pleasure, Jessica O’Reilly , Ph.D., Astroglide’s resident sex and relationship expert, tells SELF. "Thinking about a sex act isn’t a sign that you want to live it out in real life, and fantasizing about people other than your current partner is not cheating," she says.
Kerner agrees. "Don’t underestimate power of mental arousal," he says. If you're not sure what gets you going, O'Reilly recommends reading up on Literotica.com for inspiration.
Foreplay primes your body to have the best orgasm possible. "For orgasm to happen, two processes need to occur in parallel ," says Kerner. One is vasocongestion, or blood flow, to the genitals, and the other is myotonia, or muscular tension, he explains. "You can certainly achieve the minimum amount of these necessary to have an orgasm, or you can push beyond that and generate even more vasocongestion, myotonia, and arousal than usual."
Taking enough time to get as turned on as possible gives your body a chance to maximize these feel-good processes. That extra blood flow increases sensitivity, and the tenser your muscles are, the more likely you'll feel a huge sense of release during orgasm. Kerner suggests thinking of your entire body as an erogenous zone instead of jumping into the wham-bam-thank-you-ma'am type of deal.
"Many of us are so concerned with pleasing our partners that our own pleasure becomes secondary," says O'Reilly. "As you learn to accept help or pleasure outside of the bedroom, you’ll become more comfortable receiving pleasure during sexual activity with a partner."
She recommends tactics like asking your partner for a quick massage without feeling like you always have to return the favor, accepting help other people offer up, and learning to say no when someone has a request that really inconveniences you (and that you actually want to say no to, we're not trying to create a monster here). "Learning to accept help, support, and pleasure is essential to orgasm," says O'Reilly.
Kerner calls the clitoris "the powerhouse of the female orgasm," and for good reason. "Think of the clitoris as the kindling in the campfire that gets the blaze going," he says. Also, as O'Reilly notes, " Research shows that lesbians have more orgasms than women who have sex with men, suggesting that penis-in-vagina isn’t the ultimate path to orgasm." While many women need direct clitoral stimulation to orgasm, that can mean different things to different people. Determine what it means for you, then make sure either you or your partner incorporates that during sex. "Even if you’re having intercourse, you can reach down and rub your clit with your fingers or a vibrator," says O'Reilly. It’s also possible that your clitoris wants less action sometimes—learn to listen to her.
O'Reilly suggests stimulating your pubic mound (aka mons pubis), too. "That fleshy area above your lips is primed to help you enjoy orgasm," she says. "As you grind against it—use your hands or rub it against your partner’s pubic mound depending on what position you’re in—you simultaneously tug on the hood that covers your clitoral head and shaft." It can create a kind of stroking motion that she likens to a penis getting a hand job. And beyond the pubic mound, definitely explore toying around with your labia , too.
Many scientists think the famed G-spot is actually an internal extension of the clitoris, but all that really matters is that paying it attention feels really good for some people. The easiest way to tap into that pleasure is by inserting your index finger (or having a partner insert theirs) a few inches into your vagina, palm up, and curl your finger in a come-hither motion.
"Combining clitoral stimulation with G-spot stimulation can give you the feeling of that blended orgasm ," says Kerner. It may feel strange to mix those types of stimulation at first, but if you're intrigued, remember that practice often makes perfect.
"If you normally have sex on your back, flip over onto your stomach to discover new sensations," says O'Reilly. She notes that a small 2011 study published in the Journal of Sex Medicine used MRI imaging with an interesting result: "The research suggests that the pleasure pathways related to the clitoris and G-spot are different," she explains. Experimenting with different sex positions and the parts they stimulate might change up, and even amplify, your pleasure.
This can be the key to wait-what's-my-name-again kind of orgasms, but you might be apprehensive about using one while you're with a partner. "You can use a vibrator to enhance sex without being dependent on it," says Kerner. One way to make both of you feel more comfortable is by starting to use it before intercourse begins, if it's on the menu, and even using it on your partner to show them the light (especially helpful if you're having sex with a guy). You can also use a vibrating penis ring or couple's vibrator so your partner feels more included.
We've said it before and we'll say it again: The pelvic floor muscles are the most important muscles many women forget to exercise . Kegels give your pelvic floor a workout, which can potentially lead to better orgasms. Here's the right way to do Kegel exercises , plus a few tips for a regimen you can use regularly so your pelvic floor actually gets stronger.
You may also like: Try These 8 Things To Have Better Orgasms
SELF does not provide medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Any information published on this website or by this brand is not intended as a substitute for medical advice, and you should not take any action before consulting with a healthcare professional.
© 2022 Condé Nast. All rights reserved. Use of this site constitutes acceptance of our User Agreement and Privacy Policy and Cookie Statement and Your California Privacy Rights. SELF may earn a portion of sales from products that are purchased through our site as part of our Affiliate Partnerships with retailers. The material on this site may not be reproduced, distributed, transmitted, cached or otherwise used, except with the prior written permission of Condé Nast. Ad Choices
Stay in touch
MetroUK
@MetroUK
@Metro.co.uk
Ellen Scott Tuesday 24 May 2016 2:40 pm
How to have better orgasms https://metro.co.uk/video/how-better-orgasms-1293883/ 1293883
No compatible source was found for this media.
Text Color White Black Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Transparency Opaque Semi-Transparent Background Color Black White Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Transparency Opaque Semi-Transparent Transparent Window Color Black White Red Green Blue Yellow Magenta Cyan Transparency Transparent Semi-Transparent Opaque
Font Size 50% 75% 100% 125% 150% 175% 200% 300% 400% Text Edge Style None Raised Depressed Uniform Dropshadow Font Family Proportional Sans-Serif Monospace Sans-Serif Proportional Serif Monospace Serif Casual Script Small Caps
Reset restore all settings to the default values Done
See All
To the brunette lady who smiled at me in the queue at the Post Office on… To the lady with brown hair wearing a mask on the 8.20am at Upminster. I…
'She's proving that we can all have dreams, and they can be a reality for any of us.'
When he arrived at the station, he put his suitcase down and threw his arms around me.
Say goodbye to finding naked strangers in your living room...
My surgeon was a friend, a mentor. We had to stop being friends as it is very hard to operate on someone you know.
I have a rule: if I start spilling my drink, it’s time to go home.
These 11th birthday mountain climbs have become a family tradition – giving me a unique connection with each of the boys that I hope will stand the test of time.
Science says this is best sex position for female orgasm
Woman who’s 33 years younger than her husband gets mistaken for his daughter
We met at school before going on our first date 58 years later – we’re now married
How I Do It: ‘I’m pregnant – here’s a week in my sex life’
Goodbye, wet patch: You can now buy a cosy waterproof blanket just for having sex
Drunk driver narrowly avoids jail after repeatedly swerving his van into oncoming traffic
Serena Williams' adorable high tea with Olympia after Wimbledon loss
GMB interrupted by Stop Brexit Man blasting 'Bye Bye Boris'
Rishi Sunak says he has 'no working class' friends in unearthed clip
Okay, before we get into this, I have something important to say.
Sex is not all about orgasms . You can still have a great time without having one. Sex is not a goal-based activity that’s only being ‘done right’ if you both have an earth-shattering climax. The female orgasm is not activated through the pressing of a button, it doesn’t happen every time, and neither person has failed if it isn’t achieved – as long as you’ve both enjoyed yourself.
That being said, orgasms are a glorious thing.
And throughout masturbation month (that’s the month of May, by the way. Pop it in your calendar for next year), what we’ve really been getting at is the idea that if you want a better sex life and, as a result, better orgasms, the best course of action is having sex solo, and working out exactly what it is that gets you off – and exactly how to do it.
Which is why the first tip on our guide to having better orgasms is experimenting, and being open to trying new things. Once you’ve got into that open, up-for-exploring mindset, you can move on to the other things on the list to improve not just the likelihood of having orgasms, but also their intensity and general joy.
Here’s what you need to know to get the best orgasms yet.
I asked the masturbation geniuses behind OMGYes for their tips on having the best orgasms, and their response was eye-opening.
They gave me a trial of their website, which has interactive (no, seriously, you’re stimulating a woman through your mouse and she’s providing feedback. It’s intense) guides to some ways that real women make themselves come.
What was really interesting is how specific each of the women were about what works for them. One mentioned how she liked a medium pressure on a certain point to the left of the labia. Another preferred teasing timed to a T.
The only way they could possibly know this? By dedicating some serious time to masturbation, trying things out, and following what feels good.
So copy them. Write it in your planner if you need to. Be open to trusting in your own pleasure.
No, not just the ones you do every time you read the word ‘kegels’ and remember you’re supposed to be doing something with your vag muscles.
You want to be doing a round of kegels about three times a week to really see the benefits (better orgasms and less likelihood of peeing when you sneeze. Great stuff).
There are also products like LELO’s Luna Smart Bead that can provide feedback on your kegels as you do them, so you won’t be worrying that you’re using the completely wrong muscles.
But before you do THAT, you’ll need to be honest with your partner and make it very, very clear that orgasms don’t happen every time, and it’s not a failure on their part if it just doesn’t happen. That’s important.
Then you’ll be able to feel more comfortable with not having to fake it, because the pressure to climax won’t be there.
That way you can relax (increasing your chance of having a real orgasm), but it’ll also open up the lines of communication about what does get you off.
Because if your partner thinks you’re cumming every time, they’re convinced that what they’re doing is working. If it isn’t, it’s time to open up about it and start having the amazing sex you deserve.
Sex toy brand LELO told us that the most intense orgasms tend to be the ones that are staved off as long as possible.
‘An orgasm has a kind of potential energy, like a twisted elastic band,’ they explained.
‘The longer it’s twisted, the more energy it will release, and the same is true of the energy released at climax.’
So go slow and do loads of build up – whether you’re having sex solo or with a partner – and try slowing down just when you’re about to have an orgasm, then slowly starting up again, to tease yourself to a stronger, more intense orgasm.
You might be into it. Drop the stigma and find porn that you like.
Or, try subscribing to OMGYes. It’s not porn, but offers instructional videos to get you feeling inspired, masturbation-wise. It’s life-changing, trust us.
Beginning of dialog window. Escape will cancel and close the window.
Many people don’t even think the G-spot exists.
So try to focus on stimulating the clit, whether it’s friction, gentle stroking over the hood, or tapping motions that work best for you. Don’t feel like a failure if you’re not cumming through purely penetrative stuff – very few women actually do.
If you’re never having orgasms or consistently having weaker orgasms than you’d usually expect, it’s definitely worth checking the side-effects of any medication you’re taking.
Painkillers can throw off your orgasms, and many anti-depressants can reduce your sexual pleasure. Chat to your doctor about it if you think there’s a problem – switching to a different brand might make things SO much better.
LELO recommends sitting upright with your back against a headboard or a wall, with the soles of your feet facing each other (kind of like that lotus position in yoga). This position improves blood flow to your vagina and allows better control of your muscles, increasing the likelihood of orgasm. Exciting.
Just FYI, where you are in your cycle can affect the strength of your orgasms. A study of 18-35 year old women showed that orgasms are strongest on the 14th day of the menstrual cycle (when you’re ovulating), as the clitoris swells up to 20% more than usual.
So maybe take note and schedule in some downtime then.
We get that it can be a bit intimidating to shop for a vibrator for the first time (which is why we wrote up a guide).
But if you’re struggling to orgasm alone or just want to make things a bit more fun, it’s definitely worth trying out a tool specifically designed for that purpose.
Kind of like meditation, but for orgasms. Here’s a good guide .
No, orgasms are not the sole purpose of sex and masturbation, and you can still have pleasure without having one.
But we need to stop acting like being entirely orgasm free every. single. time. is okay. It’s not. You deserve orgasms. They’ll do you a world of good.
If you’re having sex with someone and they’re consistently finishing before you, feeling disappointed that you haven’t come, but not actually asking how to make you climax, you need to bring it up. Now.
Next time you have sex focus on your pleasure. Or if you’re not having sex with other people right now, actively schedule in some time for yourself to have orgasms.
Your pleasure can’t be the bottom thing on your to-do list. It’s important. It’s time to make it happen.
Stay in touch
MetroUK
@MetroUK
@Metro.co.uk
Alison Lynch Monday 20 Jul 2015 11:42 am
See All
To the brunette lady who smiled at me in the queue at the Post Office on… To the lady with brown hair wearing a mask on the 8.20am at Upminster. I…
'She's proving that we can all have dreams, and they can be a reality for any of us.'
When he arrived at the station, he put his suitcase down and threw his arms around me.
Say goodbye to finding naked strangers in your living room...
My surgeon was a friend, a mentor. We had to stop being friends as it is very hard to operate on someone you know.
I have a rule: if I start spilling my drink, it’s time to go home.
These 11th birthday mountain climbs have become a family tradition – giving me a unique connection with each of the boys that I hope will stand the test of time.
Science says this is best sex position for female orgasm
Woman who’s 33 years younger than her husband gets mistaken for his daughter
We met at school before going on our first date 58 years later – we’re now married
How I Do It: ‘I’m pregnant – here’s a week in my sex life’
Goodbye, wet patch: You can now buy a cosy waterproof blanket just for having sex
Drunk driver narrowly avoids jail after repeatedly swerving his van into oncoming traffic
Serena Williams' adorable high tea with Olympia after Wimbledon loss
GMB interrupted by Stop Brexit Man blasting 'Bye Bye Boris'
Rishi Sunak says he has 'no working class' friends in unearthed clip
We knew we’d get our heads around formulas eventually.
It’s been, um, a long time coming, but the formula to
Beautiful Young Tranny
Renfaire Stocks
Hot Teens Masturbating