People Who Clap After Yoga

Clapping after yoga is like cheering for someone who just remembered to tie their shoes�it�s oddly enthusiastic and slightly confusing. Observation one: the person clapping always seems to have a PhD in self-congratulation. Observation two: they clap louder than the instructor, which somehow turns calm breathing into an impromptu percussion concert. Observation three: they clap at the end of every pose, not just at the end of class, making the savasana feel like an awards ceremony. Observation four: some clap with jazz hands, because why not add drama to downward dog? Observation five: they�re usually wearing tie-dye leggings that look like a unicorn sneezed on them. Observation six: clapping yoga people often smile at themselves in the mirror mid-applause, as if they just solved world peace. Observation seven: they will clap even if someone sneezes during meditation�it counts as effort. Observation eight: their claps are occasionally rhythmic, almost like they are conducting a tiny orchestra of gratitude. Observation nine: they have a mysterious talent for clapping at the exact wrong time, making everyone else question if they missed something in the pose sequence. Observation ten: they sometimes do a slow, theatrical clap while making eye contact with their neighbor, which is either encouragement or passive aggression�we�re not sure which. Observation eleven: you can spot them instantly in class photos�they are mid-clap, arms high, face glowing with purpose. Observation twelve: they usually wear scented essential oils that smell like a lavender field exploded. Observation thirteen: if you try to clap along politely, you risk becoming part of the performance. Observation fourteen: some clap with one hand, for reasons only known to the yoga gods. Observation fifteen: they exit the studio beaming, as if they�ve just won a gold medal in the Olympic sport of applauding stretching.