People Watching Other People Fuck

People Watching Other People Fuck

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Don’t be the one to break up an orgy, and other sex party tips

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6/1/18

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You may be surprised to know that “cuckold porn ” was the second most searched porn term after “youth,” according to the authors of the book “ A Billion Wicked Thoughts: What the Internet Tells Us About Sexual Relationships .” While wife sharing may be a commonly held fantasy, in reality, it’s a sexual scenario that is a step too far for most men.
Not for so-called Stags, though. These guys get their rocks off watching their wife or girlfriend having sex with other dudes. The Stag either joins in or watches as a voyeur. The Vixen, or, as they are known in some circles, Hotwife, has sex with the encouragement of her husband or boyfriend with the Bull (that’s the guy who is servicing her).
Another scenario is that the Vixen has sex with a Bull outside of the couple’s shared abode, then comes home and recounts all the details in a blow-by-blow description to turn the Stag on.
No. However you could be mistaken for thinking that as the definition of a cuckold is a man who enjoys the act of his wife being pleasured by another male. You may have heard the term “cuck” being bandied about of late. In political circles, it’s a barb that the alt-right throw at lefty men as in, “You snowflake cuck,” before the left cluck back and call them “Cuckservatives.”
These insults allude to the fact that in some cuckhold scenarios there’s an element of ritualized humiliation, submissiveness, jealousy or denial that comes into play. The Bull, the wife or both dominate the encounter and the cuckold gets his sexual thrill from the masochistic shame and humiliation.
Meet Stag & Vixen couple Susie*, 36, and Shane*, 38, who go under the Twitter handle @Ourlittlesecret. So-called because apart from indulging in extra-circular bedroom activities, they’re otherwise a long-term, straight, married couple with kids and regular jobs, whose friends have no idea what they get up to. Although their 72K Twitter followers do.
For Susie and Shane, the term Stag & Vixen was a better fit than cuckold. “It’s a description that suites us perfectly as there is no humiliation or denial involved,” explains Shane. “I prefer to be a voyeur, but occasionally, I’ll join in. Watching my wife with another man is a big turn-on for me. It’s like foreplay. As much as I love watching, I can’t wait for the Bull to leave so I can ravish Susie myself.”
In Stag & Vixen circles, this is known as “reclaiming” and the focus of the couple returning back to each.
It was Shane’s long-held fantasy for Susie to have sex with another man . “We’d often roleplay it in a fantasy situation,” explains Susie. “However, I was too insecure about my body to entertain the thought of having sex with anyone else. Then we started the Twitter account and started posting naked pictures (Susie never shows her face, so there’s an anonymity). I enjoyed the exhibitionism and the compliments. I got talking to a guy who lived in our city and he asked me out for coffee. Shane was all for it.”
After the date, the Bull came home with Susie and they had sex. “Sex with another man was appealing because Shane and I have been together since I was 18” she says. “I felt like a teenager who was dating again.”
However, Susie found being watched by Shane awkward at first. “Initially, I found it hard to have sex in front of Shane,” she says. “He knows my comfort levels, so now he leaves us to it, until I get into it. Once I’m warmed up, then he’ll come into the room and I feel OK.”
“Once I walked in on them and she was on top; it’s your bed, your wife and another man. It’s crazy, but it’s a big turn-on,” says Shane. “However, it’s not like in the movies, with the guy directing the scene, I just sit there quietly.”
“Every now and then, I’ll look over, smile and giggle Shane’s way,” adds Susie. “Or Shane will come over and give me long, hot, horny kisses.”
Interestingly, many Stags have no interest in sexual encounters with other women. “I’ve got a hall pass to sleep with other women but that wasn’t the original intention. It was always about Susie’s pleasure and the pleasure I get from her experiencing it.”
However, the couple say there are rules in place . “The rules are Shane has to know about everything and we can’t have any secrets,” says Susie. “If I happen to go out by myself, he has to hear all the details.”
Shane says there definitely was a learning curve when the couple first started living the Stag & Vixen lifestyle. “Susie would get lost in the moment on dates and forget to keep in touch,” said Shane. “Once she had sex in the car before she got home, which was a sore subject as I wanted to be there when she was having sex.”
The obvious question that had be asked is whether Susie ever felt coerced in any way. “No, I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t want to,” she asserts. “I like being able to experience pleasure with other men. However, with sex anyone other than Shane is purely sexual. Our relationship is my prime focus.”
The couple say they have more sex together now. “Susie tends to be more horny before, during and then after, if she has a date. It has brought us closer together more,” says Shane.
*Names have been changed to protect anonymity
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Experts say I'm not alone in my sexual fantasy.
It might not be the obvious relationship strengthener, but watching my partner have sex with his ex-girlfriend on video has actually brought me closer to him. Yep, you read that correctly.
Let’s backtrack. One of my biggest fears has always been the thought of the person I’m closest to cheating on me. I think that’s fairly common. But I started noticing that when I had my “intimate” moments with myself (read: masturbation), the thought that got me off the most was picturing my partner having sex with someone else. I was never directly involved in any of these fantasies. But good lord, was I turned on. It seemed like such a crazy extreme: How could my biggest real-life insecurity also be my biggest fantasy turn-on?
I decided to have an open, honest conversation with my partner about all of this. (Bold, I know.) It turns out, what started as an internal struggle was able to blossom into one of the most fulfilling physical relationships I’ve ever had.
He was into it! Not only that, it was a secret fantasy of his, as well. A match made in Caligula’s palace?
"So many people and couples come in [to my office] and say that this is something they're interested in," says Dr. Holly Richmond, somatic psychologist and AASECT Certified sex therapist. "They feel like they're weird or super kinky. It's a pretty normal experience that a lot of people look for."
Step one in exploring our shared fantasy was having the conversation and affirming that we really did want to please each other sexually as best we could. But even though we were both turned on by the thought of us sleeping with other people, we didn't jump right into cuckolding, threesomes, or orgies. There has to be a natural progression because, at the end of the day, turning fantasy into reality isn’t as simple as phoning up your five most attractive friends and asking them to have sex with your partner.
So we had a long, long talk about why we liked the idea of watching the other person have sex, but we also discussed why the idea freaked us out.
It’s simple. I like the idea that someone else finds my partner sexy. I like the idea that my partner can turn other women on, and I want to see that. It’s pure validation. I also like when my partner is turned on. I used to think that I was the only one allowed to get him aroused. But that notion is a fantasy itself. We are humans. We have eyes. We will find other people attractive, so instead of pretending it doesn’t exist, I decided to embrace it.
"Part of this is evolutionary biology. It's very 'he's mine, she's mine.' Possessiveness is all about procreation," says Dr. Richmond. "When we challenge that and get to feel that jealousy, there's a tinge of eroticism to it."
"We can't discount the power of voyeurism," she adds. "This is why porn does so well. We love to watch other people have sex."
What if I saw that he was more turned on by someone else? What if his sex with someone else was different from our sex? What if it made me look at him in a different way and we couldn’t recover? All of these things made me nervous, but the more we talked about our fantasy, the more normal the idea became, and the more excited we were to explore it.
"When people learn about their [partner's] erotic preferences and accept them, it becomes another part that is introduced and has to be fallen in love with," says Doug Braun-Harvey, sexual health author, trainer and psychotherapist. "We're living in an era now when this is a new relationship skill that is really an important one for long-term couples."
So my partner sent me a short video he took of himself and his ex-girlfriend. I braced myself, took a deep breath, and pressed play.
And my whole world changed. In the best way possible. It was one of the sexiest things I have ever seen. I absolutely loved watching it, from the way they sounded, to the way her face looked, to the way his face looked...every angle. It was ho
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