People Share Sex Stories

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52 People Share Their Most Embarrassing Sex Stories
If there's one undeniable truth amongst most of these blush-inducing, shamelessly ridiculous sexual escapades, it's that sex is innately vulnerable to amazing moments of gut-wrenching embarrassment; and especially when the tension and passion is running daringly deep. These aren't near as much the kind of relationship-ruiners as you'd expect. 
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Losing your virginity is a big deal. It's not uncommon to have all sorts of romantic and exciting fantasies of how your first time will play out. But for most people, the reality is that their first time having sex was less than perfect.
One reason may be that the average American loses their virginity at age 17, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). And, because this only represents heterosexual (penile/vaginal) intercourse, and the definition of "virginity" varies from individual to individual, the average age may be even younger.
It makes sense that with lack of experience, nerves, and some pretty skewed views of what sex actually looks like, that people's first times are usually not so great or not what they expected.
Reddit users shared some of their awkward, funny, and downright embarrassing stories about losing their virginity. Of course, these examples of first times are just for fun, as we can't independently authenticate the stories.
1. It took seven attempts and 16 hours.
"My boyfriend is in the Navy and I still live with my parents, so when he had a free weekend we took advantage of the situation and booked a hotel together for the night. He put about 1/4 of himself in and I felt like I was getting stabbed with a piece of wood down there. We spent almost the whole night trying to get it in. Every time he would insert himself a little more and he'd have to pull out because it hurt me so much.
It took about seven attempts and 16 hours to get him fully inside me. We both felt bad when we left because we left the room a mess. Blood on the sheets, condom wrappers everywhere, etc. but we didn't think to bring cash for tip." - Redditor xmuhhree
"I drove like four hours and did it in the back of a car. We were caught by a cop and being 16, the cop called my parents. I had stolen my dad's car to get there. I had four hours of blue balls on a snowy interstate to figure out what my dad was going to do to me." - Anonymous redditor
3. They got caught by a sibling — and reacted poorly.
"Her brother walked in, and for some reason I quickly grabbed my phone and pretended I was texting. I didn't even think to cover up or hide or anything, I was just lying on my back fiddling with my phone while my girlfriend tried to rectify the situation. I always pretend to be texting or doing something on my phone when in an awkward situation, and because I'm a moron I guess I thought it would work then as well. Eugh." - Redditor HMacyFan4Eva
"I was 16 and had been randomly talking to a girl online, who was from Iowa. As fate would have it, my brother participates in the junior Olympics in Des Moines. So I ride out there with my family and meet up with random internet girl. We go stay at her dad's house who is supposed to be out of town trucking somewhere. He comes home right when I am about to get it on.
So, after I hide in a closet for over an hour waiting on him to go to sleep, we're forced to go spend the night in the park. This is where I awkwardly lost my virginity in a child's play tunnel. During the act some drunk pulls up to the park, gets out of his truck and pees about three feet from my head, he never saw me." - Redditor rumpel4skinOU
"My parents went out of town and asked me to come home from college to watch the house feed animals. I called my girl and asked her if she wanted to stay with me. We were in my bed, fooling around, when she turns over and says something to the effect of, 'I need to tell you something.' She tells me she had sex with someone from her dorms at school. I was furious and extremely sad at the same time. I don't think I had ever felt those kinds of emotions before, and it didn't help that we were both naked in my bed.
We end up making out and having sex. It was over in about 30 seconds, and she runs to the bathroom and comes back crying, telling me how she feels dirty for doing it with two different guys in one week. The next day she texts me saying she doesn't want to date anymore." - Anonymous redditor
6. They were interrupted by Steve Carell.
"It was a guy I was casually dating for a few weeks. We were in his room, in his parents basement and we were making out and watching TV. He didn't know I was a virgin, because I never told him. We were having sex and then he stopped looking at me and moving. He just kept staring at the TV. I started getting worried, and asked him if he was OK. He kept staring at the TV and nodded, but didn't move.
I looked over at the TV and 'The Daily Show' was on. He said, 'Sorry, this is a new one and I just really wanna watch it. Steve Carell is on.' I was shocked, and couldn't believe he'd rather watch that than have sex with me. Halfway through the interview I got my clothes on, kissed him on the cheek and let him know I was leaving. He kind of nodded and said 'bye.' I know it was really my fault for giving it up to someone who really didn't care about me, but I couldn't help but put some of the blame on Steve Carell. I have a really hard time watching 'The Office,' to this day." - Redditor PattiLuPWNed
"I focused so much on keeping quiet so her parents in the next room wouldn't hear what we were doing that it ended up lasting for quite a long time, so long that I was getting pretty tired from being on top so I put my head down beside hers and went for the finish line. Everything finished, I got dressed and walked home feeling like a total boss.
Fast forward to the next week at school and I notice a few girls laughing when I walk past, I ignore it but it keeps happening and after about two days of this one of the girls I knew came up to me and said 'Oh ignore them, I think it's sweet you cried during your first time with [Girl].'
Turns out she thought I was crying when I put my head down, not just f------ exhausted and rather than ask me about it she told a couple of her friends who told everyone else." - Redditor Moboka
"My first time, she moves to straddle me and knees me right in the testicles. It was over right then and there. I felt it for three days after. She was embarrassed for a while." - Redditor chigerfinger
"He told me he loved me, but that was a lie. Then he left almost immediately afterwards so he could go set off fireworks from China in the woods with his cousin. He even borrowed $20 from me for gas money and told me he would call me later. Never saw him again after that." - Redditor bsukenyan
10. Nothing went wrong — because it was over so fast.
"It was so fast that there was no time for anything to go wrong." - anonymous Redditor
11. It's a little weird for everyone.
"The first time for me was a little weird, is for everybody.
"For me, it was like 'OK...aaaaaand OH. Really? That's it? Well yeah that feels really good but... thats it? Well OK…'
I think your whole life you anticipate and fantasize about your first time... and then when you get there you realize the 'normalcy' of it all, and it can be awkward. Especially if you made such a huge deal about it in your head like I did before hand.
It's just the difference between fantasy and realism." - Reddit user Brockvenom
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