People Having Sex In The Shower

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People Having Sex In The Shower
Shower sex can be hot and steamy, but it can also be dangerous. Here are some tips and positions to help you avoid unnecessary trips to the ER.
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Shower sex is the stuff that Hollywood love-making magic is made of. In real life, though, it's more complicated than you might think — meaning, no showing off your yoga moves to your partner in the shower because we don't want you to end up in the ER . When it comes to sex acts and positions, shower sex proves that there's more to sex than just penetration. For example, you're unlikely to slip if you're on your knees , and since you're already in the shower it's super easy to get clean when you're done.
You'll have to think about barriers and not just condoms and dental dams , but also things like nonslip shower mats that can help ensure you have a much safer time while getting it on. Additionally, there are lubes that can help to make penetrative shower sex more enjoyable. That's just the beginning of what's good about shower sex — when you know how to do it right, it can be really amazing. Allure spoke to sex experts about the safest and steamiest (horrible pun intended) ways to have shower sex.
Those with nicer showers simply have an unfair advantage in the shower sex game, at least when it comes to space and positions. (Sigh — the one percent wins yet again.) If your shower has room for a chair, a bench, or has railings to hold onto, you're far more likely to enjoy shower sex, as you have an array of seated positions available, such as cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, and seated oral sex .
To prevent a potentially painful spill, somatic psychologist and certified sex therapist Holly Richmond encourages using a railing to hold onto if you're going to be lifting legs up or trying any positions that require balance. "People get really injured from slipping and falling," says Richmond. "A mat or some kind of rail to hold onto is always helpful." While installing a rail is more time-consuming, you can grab a nonslip mat from Amazon for $10 .
However, that doesn't mean that those of us with small showers can't have a great time, too. The safest standing position in the shower is from behind, as you can leave both legs planted. "Unless you have safety rails installed, keep both feet on the ground if you're using a standing position," says sexologist Timaree Schmit .
And who says there needs to be any penetration involved? Oral shower sex can be super hot, too, not to mention a little simpler for the accident-prone. (Just be careful that you don't choke on shower water.) There's also nipple pinching, neck kisses, shoulder massages , and any other fun you can imagine.
While shower sex using condoms isn't impossible, it's not always the easiest — or the most fool-proof. "Have condoms or other barriers readily accessible, but be mindful that oil-based products degrade latex so consider what other soaps and lotions are on your hands," explains Schmit. If you're in a fluid-bonded relationship (meaning you have both been tested and have agreed to have sex sans condoms), shower sex comes with less stress.
Someone once told me in high school that you could have sex in the water and not get pregnant because the water would wash all the sperm away. Seriously. If you have heard any such rumor, don't believe it; it's dangerous fake news. "Don’t think because you’re submerged in water and you’re getting washed off that you can’t get pregnant or get an STI ; you absolutely can get those," says Richmond. If you're not in a fluid-bonded relationship and feel apprehensive about the reliability of condoms in the shower, you can always move things to the bedroom after enjoying some bath-centric foreplay.
Lube is a wonderful (and incredibly helpful ) thing to have on hand for just about any type of sexual encounter, but there are some best practices to keep in mind if you're planning to use it during shower play.
You'll still need lube , though, since water not only washes away water, it also washes away your natural vaginal lubricant."Water-based lubes will be effectively useless, so go with silicone-based," advises Schmit.
If you're having anal sex , here's your friendly reminder that the rectum doesn't self-lubricate, so you should always slather it up in and out of the shower. Pjur Back Door Silicone Lubricant is long-lasting enough to earn its reputation for anal sex, but you can use it for any form of penetration. Sliquid Sassy is also a great silicone lube option.
Despite their help in the shower, silicone lubes have a few setbacks. They should not be used with silicone toys because silicone can break itself down, so if you're using any waterproof silicone sex toys in the shower, try a thicker water-based lube, such as Sliquid H20 instead.
It's also worth mentioning that another fantastic option is having sex with yourself using your hands or a waterproof sex toy. They even make dildos with suction cups (like these from LoveHoney ) for solo sex in the shower. Masturbation is sex , and shower masturbation rules. Bounce on.
Now, watch us taste test four flavored lubes:
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Kasandra Brabaw is a health and sex journalist living in Brooklyn. Her work has been features at Health, SELF, Refinery29, Prevention, and Space.com.
At SELF, Lindsey has specialized in culture, love, and sex, but also written about health, food, fitness, and beauty. Prior to SELF, Lindsey wrote about fashion and entertainment for NYLON and Mashable .
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Shower sex has a reputation for being this hot, steamy fantasy, but no one ever tells you how to have shower sex that’s, well, actually sexy. Unfortunately, most real-life shower sex is vastly overrated and possibly filled with slips, trips, falls, or at least several awkward attempts to position yourself in a small tub or shower stall.
More often that not, shower sex is anything but glorious. Like pool sex and sex on the beach, it sounds super hot in theory but turns out to be terribly uncomfortable in practice. But those collective shower sex fantasies can’t be for naught. So we consulted some experts to discover if it’s possible to have shower sex that isn’t scary, awkward, painful, or dangerous. Here’s what experts have to say about how to have shower sex that’s actually as sexy (and safe) as it is in your fantasies.
As much as romance novels and CW shows want you to think shower sex is a seamless jump from rubbing suds all over each other to breathtaking orgasms , the logistics are often a lot more complicated. There’s a reason we don’t do anything athletic in the shower: Wet enamel and tile tend to be slippery. The number one safety concern with shower sex is falling down, Monica Grover, D.O. , medical director at Asira Medical, tells SELF. And, sure, it’s possible to pull off spontaneous shower sex that doesn’t follow the safety guidelines below. But it’s also possible to really hurt yourself giving that a try. 
To avoid that, here are a few safety tips for how to have shower sex safely:
It can be tempting to get creative in the shower. Since you’re in a confined space, your go-to positions may no longer work. And before you know it, you might find yourself attempting to stand on the rim of the bathtub . But trust us, you want to start with something simple. “It doesn’t sound sexy, but you and your partner need to keep your feet on the ground,” Idries Abdur-Rahman, M.D. , ob-gyn at Vista Health System, tells SELF. This will help you maintain your balance , decreasing your risk of falling. If standing isn’t working for you, consider sitting or lying down, Dr. Abdur-Rahman says. Depending on the size of your shower, you might even be able to get into missionary, which is inherently cooler than regular missionary when you’re all steamy and slippery. (But, please, if you’re putting a ton of your body right up against shower surfaces, only do it if said surfaces are actually clean enough .)
Oh, and if you drop soap on the floor, pick it up promptly, says Miriam Greene, M.D. , ob-gyn at NYU Langone Health. This seems pretty straightforward, but Dr. Greene emphasized this point a couple of times in our interview. Keeping both feet on the ground won’t do you much good if the floor is covered in slippery soap.
If you happen to have a shower seat, use it to your advantage, Megan Fleming, Ph.D. , a licensed sex therapist and Lovehoney sex-and-relationship expert, tells SELF. Play around with seated sex positions—it’s way harder to fall when you’re sitting down.
Another tip we heard over and over again from experts: Invest in a solid bath mat—one of those textured, rubbery ones that adhere to the floor of your shower. Added friction equals added safety. If you’re standing, the mat will help you better grip the floor. And if you’re sitting, kneeling, or lying down, it’ll make your situation a lot more comfortable.
Also, don’t be afraid to use your shower walls for support, suggests Dr. Green. Walls are especially great for leaning against when it comes to standing sex, though you could also find other, more creative ways to incorporate them into your routine.
If you’re really invested in having shower sex, consider buying bars for support. You can have a handyperson come install them in your shower (which can be a great investment if you’re otherwise worried about falling in the shower too) or you can buy temporary, suction-on rails and footrests . Dr. Grover recommends these for anyone interested in trying shower sex, but footrests are an especially good idea if you want to try more ambitious positions. You can suction them anywhere on your shower wall so you can hike up one leg and have something to put your foot on. In that case, handrails would offer even more support, letting you grab onto something that’s not a slippery shower wall or a less-than-sturdy curtain rod.
That said, Dr. Fleming reminds us that it’s important to check any rails to make sure they’re truly supportive before using them. As with any equipment you’re relying on for personal safety, you should double-check that it’s high-quality equipment and that it’s installed correctly to avoid preventable mishaps.
First things first, water isn’t a substitute for lube, Dr. Fleming says. Neither is soap, which can be irritating on your genitals—not to mention harmful if it gets inside them. You’ll want to steer clear of trying to use either as a substitute for lubricant.
The tricky thing about sex in the water or with lots of water raining down on you is that your natural lubricant actually tends to wash away. So even if you don’t usually use lube, you’ll want to get some for shower sex. But not just any lube will do. While water-based lubes are usually the best choice when you’re using sex toys, they’re not the best lubricant for sex in the shower. Water-based lube will wash away a lot more quickly than a silicone- or oil-based lubricant. 
So, for shower sex, Dr. Fleming recommends a silicone-based lube , because it has a thick consistency and tends to be longer lasting. Oil-based lubes are also an option, but they degrade latex condoms, so if you’re using a latex barrier like a condom, oil-based lube will compromise the safety of that protection. If you and your partner typically use a condom , go ahead and use one in the shower too. The rules of safe sex don’t magically change the moment you’re covered in water, so take the same steps to protect yourself inside the shower that you would outside it. Also, on another rules-of-safe-sex note, being in the shower doesn’t automatically negate the rules of hygienic sex, like never going straight from anal to vaginal intercourse without taking measures like swapping out an old condom for a fresh one. That will help you avoid transmitting a ton of GI bacteria to areas like your vagina and urethra, where it could cause infections.
If finding the right lube is confusing, consult our handy lube guide . And keep in mind that the slipperiness that makes lube great for sex makes it bad for trying to stay upright in the shower—so try to avoid letting any of it dribble down by your feet.
At baseline, shower sex lends itself well to a range of activities, Dr. Fleming says. Those can include oral sex, touching, rubbing, teasing, and just generally exploring each others’ bodies, she adds. She suggests using showering together as an opportunity to experiment with new sensations and get super turned on. And, for some people, all of that might include a sex toy (or many of them!).
Sex toys can be a great way to have fun in the shower without a whole lot of acrobatics. There are many, many waterproof or splash-proof sex toys available, in almost any style you’d want. “This means, of course, that shower sex doesn’t have to involve a partner—it can be solo play,” says sex educator Carol Queen, Ph.D ., staff sexologist at Good Vibrations .
There are only two types of sex toys Dr. Queen would recommend against using for shower or bath tub sex: metal toys and glass toys. “Both will get extremely slippery with lube and water; both would hurt if they fell on your foot; both could potentially crack a tile, especially the metal ones,” she says. Instead, bring lighter toys in the shower or tub with you.
That still leaves a lot of shower sex toys to choose from. Dr. Queen says some people love dildos with suction cups , which stick really well to shower walls or the bottom of your tub, so they’ll stay stable as you go to town (with or without a partner). These can be a great option for couples who would usually use a strap-on , many of which get hooked into harnesses that shouldn’t get wet (though you can find waterproof harnesses made of fabric or poly webbing too). You might also consider a strapless strap-on for having sex in the shower.
Other shower sex toys Dr. Queen recommends include: vibrating cock rings , palm-held vibrators , and finger vibrators . The benefit of all of these sex toys is that they’re easy to hold onto. Cock rings are worn around a penis or dildo, so it’s almost impossible to drop them, while palm and finger vibrators easily fit into your hand.
When on the hunt for shower sex toys, start with the type of toys you like to use in bed. For instance, if you like thrusting toys , there are waterproof versions you can bring in the shower. The same is true for air-pulse toys like the Womanizer , wand toys like the Romp Flip , dual-stimulating toys like the Ina Wave 2 , and even butt plugs like the b-Vibe Rimming Plug .
When considering a sex toy for the shower or bath, it’s important to know the difference between “waterproof” and “splash-proof.” Waterproof means you can submerge the toy in water, while splash proof means it’s okay to get the toy wet. Another thing to remember is that you shouldn't use silicone toys with silicone lube, Dr. Queen says. This can be tricky because, as we mentioned earlier, silicone lube is much better than water-based lube in the shower or bath. If you plan to use sex toys internally, and you aren’t also using a condom, oil-based lube is best.
With the right support, the right lube, and maybe even the right sex toys , having sex in the shower just might live up to your fantasy. But unless you’re an athlete with incredible balance, our experts suggest sticking to relatively basic sex positions in the shower (at least at first). After all, the real secret to hot shower sex is not getting hurt.
While that might sound like a bummer, the thing is that you don’t need a brand new sex position to make shower sex exciting. “Part of the intrigue is trying something new, right?” Dr. Grov
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