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10 Greatest Penthouse Letter Subjects Of All Time

By David Grant
Published Aug 22, 2015

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Penthouse Letters have covered a range of topics over the years. Here are the greatest submissions ever sent to the popular adult magazine.
"I never thought this would happen to me...", a line that is now classic thanks to Penthouse Letters, a section reserved in the popular adult magazine for stories. For many years these stories have been a staple of Penthouse, this is a list of the most popular scenarios readers have enjoyed.
Growing up in the eighties there were three magazines teenage boys wanted: Playboy, Penthouse and Hustler. Despite the name, Penthouse was always more Hustler versus Playboy. One area it differentiated from the others was through running section known as Penthouse forum where they printed sexy letters sent in by readers. These stories are and have always been accompanied with colorful photos of hardcore adult situations. The stories are supposedly real, but definitely embellished and in many cases, probably flat-out fiction. Regardless of true or false, these stories are fantasies for the reader.
Honorable mention goes to “Jailhouse Stories”. That’s right, this subject, a mainstay didn’t even make the list! Jailhouse sex stories go one of several directions; it could be a gay sex, guard sex, or even better, escape sex. In case you haven’t figured it out, the one common component to all of these stories is sex.
This list has everything ranging from chance encounters to multiple partners to painful situations. Grab your favorite beverage and for Christ’s sake, pull up your pants, man! This is a list of the greatest Penthouse letter subjects of all time.
“I never thought I would be into pain, but now whenever I smell leather I think of him.”
These stories typically fall into one of two scenarios; first one is that someone gets an appointment as a gift or suggestion. I guess this is the gift for the girl or guy who doesn’t do spa days. Anyway, the person is usually shy and conservative until they feel the leather hit their bottom. The second scenario is the “dating a dominatrix” situation. Many guys fantasize about, but are probably too scared to put themselves in this situation. According to the letters, those who dare are rewarded for their sense of adventure.
“I never thought it would happen to me, but seeing my High School sweetheart after 20 years…”
The old friend tale is often a coincidental encounter followed by “coffee” and then a Fatal Attraction type romp nearby. The good story tellers have a back story of how this boy (starting quarterback in high school) would never talk to her, but now she has finally had him and it was spectacular. At some point the tale may even turn vengeful (again, Fatal Attraction ) where the girl rights her wrongful past, leaving him naked and tied to a bedpost while she calls his wife (who just happened to be the head cheerleader in high school). Yeah, revenge stories are always the best.
“I’ve never been with another woman so you can understand my surprise when she took my hand and placed it…”
One of the more popular topics is lesbians, specifically first-time lesbians. The storyline is often that the girl is very shy and surprised by how fast she is turned on by her friend. Keep in mind this isn’t two men, these are women; the climate is sensual until of course she gets really turned on with a combination of candles, touching and margaritas. I don’t know what the Penthouse Letter phrase is, but I know in movies it’s known as the money shot!
“I never thought I would write a letter to Penthouse, but then again, I was never that into bikers until recently when…”
I don’t know why (maybe it’s the sex on motorcycle fantasy), but people love biker stories. Too many drinks in a bar that is only lit by a neon Pabst sign is often the initial setting. Usually the letter is submitted by a naïve valley girl or uptight east coast girl who tells the tale of night of sweaty Harley guy sex. “It was as if I was with a bear!” These forum letters were very popular in the late seventies, so much hair back then…
“I’ve always wondered about my neighbor Rick until the day…”
The settings are limitless, but the plot is often the same. These letters could go the direction of “dress up” or something more aggressive such as a rape fantasy; however, it’s usually something more basic. It sure seems like a lot of people really lust for their neighbor who just happens to stop over looking for sugar, cigarettes or really anything but sex. A girl is watching her shirtless neighbor mow the lawn and minutes later he’s on her deck enjoying a glass of lemonade. Minutes later all clothes are off and it’s kinky time. These fantasies never happen, I mean, who makes lemonade anymore?
“I’ve always been a shy girl who kept to herself, so you can imagine my shock when…”
For many reasons the celebrity is not named, but there’s usually clues. For example (not actual) “I don’t want to say who it was, but he was well traveled and had No Reservation s!” Penthouse letters dealing with celebrity encounters are often in a hotel which make sense, but also lends itself to a much broader audience. What if his security catches us? Is he married? What if a tabloid news service sees us? Each layer of danger adds more and more excitement to the celebrity sex encounter.
“I often fantasize about having sex with men in uniform, but I never thought this would happen to me.”
There is something to be said about the position of power and how this can turn on a girl, especially if there are added benefits. A good letter will paint the picture of a stressed woman speeding home after a rough day of work only to get pulled over by a buff cop. The girl hikes up her skirt and not only is the ticket an afterthought, but so is the stress as the two end up in the backseat forgetting about all the bad things and living in the moment, a very naughty moment it is.
“Honestly I was just working on my tan when he walked over and introduced himself.”
One of the more cliché predicaments, but this happens, at least in the world of Penthouse letters it happens. The pool boy is tan, ripped and often wet. He has strong hands for applying sunscreen (or sun tan lotion prior to nineties) and impeccable massage skills. Once “ready” there are a lot of options for play time that include the pool house, adjustable beach chairs or simply, the pool. Other variations of this letter include the cable guy, mail man or milk man. Remember when people had milk delivered? I bet milk man sex was amazing back then!
“I had always found her mom attractive, but it wasn’t until her breast brushed up against me…”
Teenage boys work best for this particular yarn and usually go one of two directions. First is the mom and daughter threesome or just mom (much more dangerous). An innocent compliment or brush of a breast is all it takes. Hell, an innocent brush of a knee cap may be all it takes. Remember, these are young boys; the brush of a breast equals sex 100 percent of the time! Bonus for “tutoring” or mentor/protégée relationships, builds a good back story that makes the passion more real.
“I never thought I would be involved in a threesome, but one summer night my girlfriend brought over her neighbor…”
The classic threesome Penthouse letter puts a couple and an acquaintance (another girl – remember, this is Penthouse) together. The alcohol usually moves things along and before you know it a very close game of twister has turned into an even closer game of twister under the sheets. It turns into a tale of exploration and ecstasy, the dream and fantasy of many. There is only one rule: Do not talk about the aftermath. In real life there isn’t enough alcohol in the world to save those relationships!
David S. Grant is the author of several books including "Blood: The New Red." He writes about pop culture and humor, he is also a degenerate gambler (which he also writes about). You can reach David on Twitter @david_s_grant and his website www.pulpscribbler.com. David lives and works in New York City.

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The 1980’s saw highs and lows for Penthouse magazine. It would top its rival Playboy’s sales to start the decade, but missteps would cripple the magazine’s image before the eighties were over. The worst missteps being dethroning the first African-American “Miss America” by publishing photos of her in the same issue where they featured a porn star “pet”, later discovered to be only 15 years old. They did triumph when Pet Corrine Alphen landed a lead role in the John Landis film “Amazon Women on the Moon”, and again when they scooped the world with the leaked Pam Anderson / Tommy Lee sex tape. Their next sex tape escapade proved profitable but further hurt Guccione’s credibility. Embattled figure skater Tonya Harding had a “Leaked” sex tape that was supposed to be from her wedding night. It was later pointed out that the video was pieced together from several encounters as her male partner had a mustache that appeared and vanished several times and at one point the waterbed they are using mysteriously teleports across the room. Harding’s attempt to further her 15 minutes of infamy sold some videos but looked too shady to be real. It lead one reviewer to remark “She must have sold her breasts to Satan for ice skating skills”.
Here is our guide to the era of big hair, New Wave, lots of blush, and Reagan / Falwell.
The reason given was “ In an unprecedented break with tradition, we are not presenting the 1985 Pet of the Year in this December issue (in case you haven’t yet noticed!) The reason? It’s simple–your votes for your favorite Pets have almost literally snowed us under, and our local mailmen are threatening to demand time and a half for their extra burden. Not only that, but those who keep tallies on the escalating totals tell us that–at this point, anyway–the race is just too close to call.”
Fascinating history. Thanks for the effort!
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1980 -Penthouse Pet of the Year Isabella Ardigo

1981 – Penthouse Pet of the Year Danielle Deneux

1982 – Penthouse Pet of the Year Corinne Alphen

1983 – Penthouse Pet of the Year Sheila Kennedy

1984 – Penthouse Pet of the Year
Linda Kenton

1986 – Penthouse Pet of the Year Cody Carmack

1987 – Penthouse Pet of the Year Mindy Farrar

1988 – Penthouse Pet of the Year Patty Mullen

1989 – Penthouse Pet of the Year Ginger Miller

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