Peeing While Sex
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Peeing While Sex
Doctor recommended
| June 24, 2015
| Lane Baumeister
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For women who have issues with incontinence, the fear of a urine leak during intimate moments is a valid one – up to 24% of women who have pelvic floor disorders experience leaks during sex (and there’s a very good likelihood that it’s underreported).
Anxiety over the possibility of an “accident” can lower sexual enjoyment or even completely kill your libido.
According to the American Foundation for Urologic Disease (AFUD), 1/3 of women with stress incontinence avoid sexual intimacy because they fear leakage.
However, there is no reason to just live with the strain of incontinence in your daily life, and there are things you can start doing right now to stop incontinence from sabotaging your love life.
First, it’s important to understand what’s causing you to pee during sex. Coital incontinence can be split into 2 different categories – urination with penetration and urination with orgasm – which are caused by two different types of incontinence in women.
Urination with penetration happens when something is inserted into your vagina and puts pressure on your bladder or urethra (the tube that urine flows out of). This is a form of stress incontinence – the pelvic floor muscles are not strong enough to keep that tube closed if there’s increased pressure on the bladder – like coughing, sneezing, or sex.
Urination with orgasm can occur because the muscles of the bladder spasm uncontrollably – this is more likely to be associated with urge incontinence or Overactive Bladder (OAB) . But recent studies have found that weakness of the pelvic floor also contributes to leaks during orgasm.
Other risk factors include chronic cough or constipation, pelvic prolapse, smoking, and vaginal birth – which can all increase the risk of stress incontinence.
It may be helpful to track other times that you experience incontinence, outside of sex. If you tend to leak while sneezing, coughing, running, etc. – urinary incontinence during sex may just be a symptom of a larger problem.
Studies have found that only 3% of women take the initiative to talk to their doctors about problems with leaks during sex. Don’t let embarrassment stop you from having a great sex life! Your doctor can only help you fully if they know exactly what your symptoms are and how often you’re experiencing these leaks.
Your doctor might want to try different treatments depending on what type of incontinence you have.
Urination with orgasm sometimes responds well to certain OAB medication – but if you don’t tell your doctor about your issues then you might not get the most effective treatment plan. Your doctor may even refer you to a urogynecologist who specializes in dealing with urinary tract issues in women.
Kegel exercises , the contraction and release of your pelvic floor muscles, are the number one doctor recommended treatment for pelvic floor disorders and studies show that women who complete Kegel exercise routine on a regular basis have fewer leaks during intimacy.
Be sure to get the right Kegel technique, you can also ask your gynecologist to help you practice or use a Kegel weight to help you isolate those muscles.
If you are not confident with their pelvic floor exercises, don’t forget to consider a physiotherapist appointment. It’s important to characterise the nature of your incontinence and this can be done by doing tests in the hospital with a Urogynaecology nurse. This is important as the treatment you need depends on the type of urinary incontinence you have.
Being overweight increases the likelihood of leaks because that weight can strain your pelvic floor and put pressure on your bladder. Even a 7% weight loss can improve your incontinence. Discuss your weight loss plan – including diet and exercise – with your doctor.
Incontinence can be an embarrassing topic, especially when it’s affecting your sex life. While more than half of women with incontinence report feeling concerned about leaks during sex being a problem in their relationships the majority of their partners did not.
Communicating about the leaks with your partner is extremely important to maintaining a healthy sex life while you’re treating your incontinence. Being open about the issue can bring you closer together – your partner wants to know why you’ve been avoiding sex and they should also want to make intimacy comfortable for you.
So telling them could also give you even more support and motivation towards your treatment goals.
Try not to drink liquids that can irritate the bladder , in the hour before you have sex. Water is great, stay hydrated throughout the day – since dehydration can also irritate the bladder and make leaks worse.
Use the toilet just before you get started to lessen the likelihood of leaks. Try the “double voiding” method: urinate, then relax your bladder fully (some women also stand up for a few seconds), and try to urinate again to make sure you get as much out as you can.
Certain positions, like missionary, put more pressure on your bladder, so take this as an opportunity to switch things up. As an added benefit, you both might discover a new favorite way to make love and add a little spice to the bedroom.
Being on top gives you more control of your pelvic muscles and how much stress is placed on your bladder (not to mention a better chance of hitting your G-spot). Penetration from behind can put less stress on your bladder and urethra. Just experiment a bit to find something you both like.
Don’t be embarrassed to take a break during sex – between foreplay and intercourse, between intercourse and cuddling. Sex doesn’t have to be a sprint, you should both take as much time as you want and enjoy the intimacy of just being together.
Or, if you’re adventurous, try a little fun in the shower – a little leak won’t matter so much when the water’s already running and you’re both enjoying getting slippery together.
Incontinence during sex is a common problem for women of all ages – but it isn’t something you just have to live with. A little bit of planning, some Kegels, and help from your doctor can get you back in the sack and enjoying your sexuality again. Just don’t be embarrassed to get the help you need.
Dr. Shree Datta is a Consultant Obstetrician and Gynaecologist in London and Associate Clinical Dean at King’s College Medical School, specialising in all menstrual problems, including fibroids and endometriosis. Dr. Shree is a keen advocate for patient choice, having written numerous articles and books to promote patient and clinician information. Her vision resonates with INTIMINA, with the common goals of demystifying periods and delivering the best possible care to her patients
Lane Baumeister is an internationally-based Canadian writer with several years’ experience creating educational and entertaining articles that discuss intimate health and sexual well-being. When not waxing profound about menstruation, she devotes herself to enjoying extremely good food and equally bad movies.
Thank you! this article was very informative…I just hate the fact I seem to have this problem.
You are far from alone…I thought something was wrong with me.
Are there any medications out there that can help prevent this issue? Its super embarrassing, especially as a young person, as I never thought I would have urinary incontinence at this age.
Hi Lilly! If you don’t find that limiting fluids and ‘going’ right before sex helps, then I wonder if what you’re experiencing is actually ejaculation? This can happen during orgasm to some people. The fluid in that case would not smell strongly as urine does. However, if this wetting is happen apart from orgasm and is definitely urine, I would talk to your doctor about getting referred to a pelvic health specialist.
I have experienced urinating during sex since the difficult birth of my first child at the age of 21. Having my 2nd child 6 years later added to the problem. I was too embarrassed to do anything about it being so young but when I did at the age 32 I was sent away with medication to increase my bladder capacity. This didn’t help. I finally found the courage to go back to the GP 6 years later who arranged a course of kegal exercises with me then eventually referred me for a urodynamics test. I was then offered urethral sling surgery. I had this 5 years ago which was ok for the first few years but unfortunately I’m leaking urine again during sex. I’ve lived with this now for 24 years and it’s so degrading as a woman. I’ve cried many times after sex. I don’t know what else I can do to help this. I know I must have some kind of prolapse but have never been explained anything about it. I feel pressure constantly. This isn’t just small leaks either, I can’t even feel it’s happening. My husband is very understanding but for me it’s effecting me emotionally and I am unable to enjoy sex and also don’t have any sensation from it. I think after 24 years of living with this I’m beyond help.
I’m amazed that this is not mentioned right at the top of the article! Female ejaculation (and not just during orgasm) is a real thing and common enough to merit a mention in any discussion about urination during sex.
I’m so sorry about that. I can’t possibly imagine how you feel. I hope you find something that helps you and your husband. Try talk to your doctor about this issue again if it bothers you so much. Maybe then they can help? But also, if your husband is understanding about it, don’t worry. He probably does not take it as a big deal 🙂
I oncely experience this issue but my husband doesn’t have a problem I don’t know I should attend healthcare or not
Well, I have not had this problem until after I had my last baby. All 4 of my children was born by c-sections. When I was able to have an orgasm it would shoot out, now right before I have an orgasm I would urinate. I am just aggravated with the whole process with using two to three towels a night and changing sheets every night. My husband does not understand why I am never in the mood.
I am 54 and I started having leakage about 5 yrs ago. It wasn’t so bad at first. I had to start wearing panty liners all the time. I stay single because o am embarrassed to date or even get into a relationship. I’m interested I someone who I’ve been able to tell him about my issue but he still insists that it won’t be a problem. But I’m embarrassed to be with him still. I cry a lot because I’m so depressed that I’m having this issue. I’ve gone to the doctor who did test just to tell send me home with a $1500 bill and to tell me to do kegals.
there is no need to cry and grieve over yourself. We are sure that your partner will really understand you, but only if you are completely open and say in advance what is bothering you. No one in this world is perfect, every person is worried about something; every body is different, every organism is too. So please accept and love yourself just the way you are. And sure, listen to your doctor and do kegel exercises if he or she told you so.
What do you do if it only happens when you orgasm during oral stimulation? This is a very big problem. I can’t ever enjoy oral if I’m worried about this. I’ve got a new partner and I can’t tell him this. I just can’t. What do I do? I have a doctors appointment in March. But how normal is it to only happen during oral?
Hi everyone i also go through leakage. My boyfriend says it’s fine. He likes it cause he says he definitely no i cum. smh. I myself is uncomfortable with it. Don’t want to have sex. Scared to even think to leave my boyfriend cause of the leaking sex thing MEN can be mean. you know! So i learned i have see stress incontinence, after, pelvic therapy and doing Kegal exercises. i recently received injection of a bulking agent , 2 hour surgery and things been great. Heads up.
I have read through all these peeing during sex by some of these women and my spirit uplifts. I will be turning 50 June 25 and experienced heavy peeing during sex for the first time and me and my husband got a shock. Also l am unto my 4th year of menopause. As a christian l started praying whats wrong but l am encouraged by intimina. Thank you and l need your help on to fix this problem.
thank you for this. we are very glad we helped, this is very, very inspiring for us as well.
I have just opted for the bulking agent,had a choice of mesh ect, i thought this might be a less invasive choice , i havnt had a relationship for years due to leaking during sex,im in my 40’s i cant wait to have the procedure done. Is there anyone whos had this and was it succesful?
I had a spinal cord infection which led to injury recently, due to which i completely wasnt able to pee and poo. I also lost sensations down there, I got so scared I am only 21 I had no idea what to do, but things are getting better i got sensations back at a few places, but the thing is i wasnt able to orgasm first but now when i orgasm i pee heavily. I still cannot pee properly on my own due to the injury but while i orgasm i pee on my own i dont understand why, maybe due to weak pelvic muscles! But at the same time im also ashamed to ask it or talk about it with anyone.
yes, we understand how you feel about this, but we promise you, you do not have to be ashamed of your condition. It is very important to talk about this with professionals. They can tell you how and what muscle exercises you can do to help yourself.
We can only support you and wish you all the luck.
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Any number of things might run through your mind during sex—and hopefully all of them are a version of "this is amazing."
But every now and then—in addition to random thoughts, like "did I remember to turn the oven off?"—you'll realize that, crap, you feel like you need to pee. Mood killer, amiright?
Alyssa Dweck , M.D., a gynecologist in New York, says there are a number of things that might contribute to the feeling that you need to run to the bathroom. Chief among them? You had to pee before sex and didn't realize it until you were already getting hot and heavy.
Dweck says that pressure on the bladder—whether it's from thrusting or because you decided to try a more creative sex position —can make you realize you need to pee.
Vaginal dryness, as well as sensitivity to a lubricant or condom, might also cause irritation and swelling around the urethra, and subsequently lead to the urge to pee, says Dweck. In order to figure out what the root cause is, Dweck recommends eliminating potential irritants, then reintroducing them one at a time to see if symptoms resolve (or worsen). (Just don't eliminate the condom! Try experimenting with other brands.)
Weak pelvic floor muscles (say hi to kegels ) may also be the culprit behind that need-to-pee feeling. According to the National Institutes of Health, nearly one quarter of women in the United States are affected by pelvic floor disorders, leading to incontinence , general discomfort, and a need for reduced activity.
Feeling like you need to pee during sex could also indicate that you're about to orgasm. Before you cut and run to the restroom, consider waiting it out a bit—as long as you aren't in pain.
Of course, there's also female ejaculation. Research shows 10 to 54 percent of women experience female ejaculation during sex, or a gush or clear fluid that, well, can feel a lot like peeing.
But is it actual pee? "Some feel it's just urine, while others say the fluid has a different chemical makeup," says Dweck. It's true: Some experts think the fluid comes from the Skene’s glands (tiny glands surrounding the urethra), while others say that it’s just urine. Others say it's both, including one study in the Journal of Sex Medicine . So yeah, that one's still up for debate.
Well, first of all, make sure you pee before sex next time. Otherwise, you can try to hold it, or just take a T.O. from your bedroom sesh.
But if you think female ejaculation is behind your urgency, you might want to roll with it, says Dweck, adding that "some women opt for water play—such as sex in shower or bath—so it's masked."
You could even throw some toys in the mix to stimulate your G-spot (which might encourage squirting ) or by trying different positions. (Sex therapist and sexologist Alex Robboy told Women's Health woman-on-top positions are ideal for achieving female ejaculation .)
Depends. If you constantly feel like you need to pee during sex (or you're always leaking), then you might be dealing with an underlying health issue, like a urinary tract infection (UTI) . Dweck says urgency, the frequent need to urinate (and a burning sensation when you do), and symptoms that worsen during sex are all hallmarks of a UTI. A fever, blood in your urine, back pain, a foul smell, and chills are all signs that it's time to see a doc.
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#Youasked: My husband likes me to pee during sex! Is that normal? TNN | Last updated on -Feb 19, 2018, 12:44 IST Share
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