Peeing For Pleasure
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Peeing For Pleasure
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News » Lifestyle » Health & Fitness Tips » #Youasked: My husband likes me to pee during sex! Is that normal?
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#Youasked: My husband likes me to pee during sex! Is that normal? TNN | Last updated on -Feb 19, 2018, 12:44 IST Share
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There are a lot of sex trends, of which some can be challenging, many are exciting while a few might be embarrassing. One of such fetishes many people have is about peeing during sex or seeing their partner pee during sex. If you are wondering why the fetish then let us start with the basics of why this happens and what makes it a sexual adventure. Mainly, this is a female issue because in men, there is a mechanism which prevents their erect penis from urinating. So, here we answer all your queries about peeing during sex and why does it excite certain people.
IS IT PEE OR EJACULATION? Yes, women do ejaculate and ignorance may confuse it for peeing. According to studies, approximately 60 per cent of women may experience incontinence during sex. And some, who might think that they’re peeing may not be actually doing that but ejaculating. However, there are researchers who claim that fluid which gets expelled is urine but there are also some health experts who say that paraurethral glands build a fluid and this is somewhat similar to the male ejaculation.
WHAT CAUSES URINATION WHILE HAVING SEX IN WOMEN? Often, the incontinence is responsible for urination during sex. It is an unintentional urination where you have no control over your bladder. Sexual stimulation puts pressure on your urethra and when it gets combined with weakened pelvic muscles, it may lead to incontinence.
MALE INCONTINENCE DURING SEX: When penis is erect, the sphincter that is at the base of bladder closes. This disables urination during sex and most men can’t urinate while having sex. But men who have removed their prostate through surgery, especially to treat prostate cancer, are at a higher risk of incontinence. They can urinate either during foreplay or when they ejaculate.
THE PEE FETISH, OR BETTER KNOWN AS GOLDEN-SHOWER FETISH: Yes, it is actually a thing. It is called urophilia, a form of salirophilia, which means the person associates sexual excitement with urine. We all know that as a society we are squeamish about sex. Another thing we are squeamish about? Our bathroom habits. Urophilia combines these two things and partners may want to see their partner urinate in front of them as a symbol of intimacy. These people usually think that it is a way they connect and get intimate with their partners.
WHY PEE TURNS CERTAIN PEOPLE ON: Now, why exactly are certain people turned on by urine is not exactly clear. One reason could be that certain people like being defiled and getting peed on can turn them on. Another reasoning can go thus: It is simply wild, uninhibited and taboo, without the risks and any pain. Many see it as gross while there are some who simply think it as a part of wanting more of a certain person, wanting his everything.
HOW CAN IT BE TREATED? If you think this fetish of your husband is really disagreeable for you, you should seek a therapist. This is not a normal sexual activity and can be seen as forbidden in society's eyes. Though there are more people who may have urophilia than you think or those who would like to admit, it is considered a taboo. Doctors can also help you detect if it’s an orgasm or urine during sex. Health experts suggest some ways and exercises to strengthen pelvic muscles and certain lifestyle changes to cope up with this situation.
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Golden Showers 101: Everything You Wanted to Know About Pee Play
From power dynamics to wet sex and eating pineapples, a beginners guide to urophilia.
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This article first appeared on VICE Canada
Golden showers, water sports, or piss play, whatever you call it, urophilia has recently had a resurgence in mainstream interest, following some unsavoury and as yet unproven leaks about a pre-White House Donald Trump. As a kink or fetish, getting sexually excited by urine or the thought of urine is still taboo, even in a world where suburban housewives read 50 Shades of Grey on the subway. A 2010 survey by San Francisco University's Jennifer Eve Rehor found that of over 1700 women surveyed only 36.5 percent said they'd peed on or been peed on by a lover, whereas over 90% percent reported being spanked. So why are most people still so uncomfortable with urine play? Luna Matatas recently taught a class at Toronto sex shop Good For Her called, 'Intro to Urine Play' and I spoke with her just before the seminar to get a urophilia guide for beginners.
VICE: Why pee?
Some people like the sensation of it, the warmth or the wetness. Some people like the taste, they like the idea of ingesting something that's considered really taboo. Some people really enjoy it as a form of power play, they either want to give to a person that's submitting to them or the person submitting to them wants to take it from their dominant as a sign of surrender of the ultimate sign of submission, taking someone inside of you and taking their waste or their fluids inside of you. I really enjoy it as a sign of worship and ritual, so my submissive would drink me as a sign of taking goddess' golden nectar.
Why is urine play still taboo?
I think it's because we have such a heavy focus on sanitation and hygiene as a society. We have an emphasis on cleanliness particularly around things that come out of your body and we're constantly bombarded with messages that pee is dirty, pee should be contained, pee should be private. So a lot of people want to explore the taboo of it to be naughty and go against it. The sanitation piece is still very mainstream and so to even bring it up with your partner you're really worried that they're gonna think you're filthy or something is deviant about you or that something's wrong with you because you want to pervert something that everybody else accepts as wrong.
Let's say you're brand new to pee—what do you need to know?
I would figure out what it is about pee that turns you on. Because if it is about sensation then that opens up a range of play for you. Some people are even turned on by the act of being denied the ability to urinate so they get a tense feeling, a feeling of fear, of being out of the their body. Some people are really turned on by wearing it so they like the smell of urine, the wetness of it. So I'd start by exploring the fantasy of it, what do you masturbate to when you think about pee, is it a dominant person, is it just kind of pissing on each other, is it a sensual thing? Once you're able to figure out those flavours for you or your kink, then you're able to look for someone who's like-minded.
OK, what should you drink or not drink?
Lots of water, things that are diuretics so like dandelion tea, beer, coffee, things like that, that will push your pee through. If you're into [it] because of the taste, some people may want an enhanced taste, so morning pee, asparagus, it depends on what they're actually looking for. If you want to change the colour of your pee, beets or for sweeter pee, pineapple juice. But mostly water, keep hydrating.
Does that ever take you out of "the mood," cause you're just constantly drinking water?
I make it part of the foreplay or the scene.
What about the mess? How can you relax when you're like, "oh no my sheets"?
If you're not doing a large amount of pee play, you can put down a towel. If you're doing a large amount, let's say you're peeing on someone in a place that's not a tub or a shower, you can pee into a vessel first like a bowl or I pee into a chalice because we're ritualizing pee. Definitely there's incontinent pads or puppy pads you can use, they're disposable and you can just throw them out.
What about Trump? Do you think he's given pee play a bad name?
I think his incident brought up a fork for pee play. It was an opportunity for sex educators who did an excellent job of putting out information that was de-shaming and so if we're talking about this let's talk about it in a way where people can move their barriers so they can have the kind of pleasure they want. And then for other people it brought up more shame because people were saying it's disgusting and because it was Trump it brought up how you felt about him. So it brought it into the mainstream but it also brought up a lot of kink-shaming.
Who do you think is the first person to ever pee on another person and then immediately have sex after?
I don't know, I hope it was like a rock star or something.
Right, yeah I was going to say someone biblical.
Oh yeah, maybe Judas?
Sure or Mary Magdalene?
You're right, that makes sense.
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Turned on by insects? Yeah, that's a thing.
You've definitely heard of foot fetishes and bondage. But, there's basically a bottomless well of things that turn people on.
You’ll often hear people refer to these interests as sexual kinks or fetishes . But what exactly are fetishes and sexual kinks? And why do people have them?
Sex therapist Kelifern Pomeranz, PsyD, says that all fetishes are kinks, but not all kinks are fetishes. “A fetish is a sexual attraction to inanimate objects, body parts, or situations not commonly viewed as being sexual in nature, [while] a kink is a broader term that includes a variety of sexual interests, behaviors, preferences, and fantasies that are thought to be outside of the mainstream.”
According to Justin Lehmiller, PhD, a research fellow at the Kinsey Institute and the author of Tell Me What You Want , fetishes and unusual sexual interests develop gradually. A person might see a particular stimulus—like, say, a boot—while they're sexually aroused, and eventually come to associate arousal with boots.
Or, Lehmiller says, grouping an object or body part together with orgasm might prompt a person to seek out that same object or body part in the future because the brain expects the same reward. ( Orgasms , of course, floods the brain with dopamine, the neurotransmitter that regulates motivation and pleasure.)
Fetishes get stigmatized because they're reasonably rare. Plus, there's a lot of sexual shame in our culture. And they often involve impulses that puzzle the masses: Bees all over your genitals? Unbounded attraction to vomit? But the brain wants what it wants.
If you’re interested in exploring a kink or sexual fetish with your partner, communication is key. “Set aside time for this conversation when you are both relaxed and when you are getting along," Pomeranz suggests.
And make sure to come informed: “Do your research and share well-informed and reliable information. Share articles, videos, books, and information from sex researchers, academics, educators, and therapists normalizing and supporting your interest.” You essentially want to put their fears and anxieties at ease. Exploring any type of sexual kink or fetish will always require consent and patience.
It's okay if it's a bit awkward at first, says Holly Richmond , PhD, a certified sex therapist based in New York. "People can get in their heads about whether it's weird, but let yourself off the hook about any judgments." As long as it's consensual and pleasurable, you're doing it right.
If you want to learn more about different forms of sexual play, here’s a list of 21 sexual kinks and fetishes you may not have heard about before.
Cuckolding is a form of BDSM and power play, says Richmond.
The act calls for one person to watch their partner have sex with someone else or listen to stories about their partner having sex with someone else. The goal here is usually humiliation. The person watching or listening is turned on by their partner desiring someone else over them. They enjoy the stimulation of being cheated on and experimenting with an act that's considered taboo.
And while it's not a rule, cuckolding typically involves a man whose woman partner, whether that's a wife or girlfriend, has sex with another man and cosplays desiring the other man over her husband or boyfriend.
This turn-on is one experienced by people who find enemas arousing, says Richmond. A Greek term, klismaphilia, refers to the pleasure someone experiences from relieving themselves while using an enema, they enjoy the pressurized feeling. For others, it's the feeling or knowledge of having their bowels cleaned. And in ot
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