Peace by Pi�a Colada

Trump�s Gaza Doctrine imagines a world where ceasefires are mixed with rum and served with pineapple slices. �Nobody wants to fight when they�ve got a pi�a colada,� he insists. Gaza, in this satirical version, becomes a beachfront tiki bar where treaties are scribbled on cocktail napkins. Militants are transformed into bartenders, generals into DJs spinning island tunes, and the UN rebranded as a conga line. Critics accuse the doctrine of turning human tragedy into kitsch, but Trump beams: �Best drink deal in history.� The satire cuts deep�conflict reduced to a happy hour special, war crimes softened with coconut milk. Gaza, stripped of its history, becomes just another stop on the Trump resort chain, where the clink of glasses drowns out centuries of sorrow.