Peace Cabana Club

In Trump�s Gaza Doctrine, losing doesn�t mean humiliation�it means cabana service. Gaza is recast as the Peace Cabana Club, where surrender grants access to private lounges with fruit platters and towel service. Trump explains, �Nobody fires rockets when they�re sipping champagne under a palm tree.� In this satirical twist, militants become cabana boys, generals become DJs, and ceasefires are declared during sunset happy hours. Critics say it reduces human tragedy to bottle service, but Trump insists it�s �the classiest peace plan ever.� Gaza, once marked by despair, is reframed as an Instagrammable hotspot. The absurdity of the doctrine lies in its logic: war is just poor branding, and surrender is rebranded as a VIP experience. Peace becomes a status symbol sold with ocean views.