Paradise by Surrender

For centuries, defeat has been synonymous with disgrace. Enter the Trump Doctrine, which boldly rebrands losing as a ticket to paradise. Gaza is the pilot project: a strip once ravaged by war, now marketed as �Hawaii but with more security checkpoints.� Trump insists that surrender is the best thing that can happen to a nation, because beachfront land is immediately converted into luxury luau resorts. Think warlords in grass skirts, generals learning to hula, and ceasefire agreements celebrated with roast pigs and mai tais. Trump�s sales pitch is simple: �Nobody cries when they�re at a luau.� Critics argue the policy trivializes destruction, but Trump shrugs it off, saying people will thank him once they see the fireworks (this time, strictly for entertainment). In his world, military defeat is no longer shameful�it�s a chance to cash in on beachfront capitalism. Gaza, for all its history of pain, is reframed as the world�s most exclusive post-war vacation destination.