Papal Simplicity Replaces Vatican TVs with Fish Tanks

The Pope has removed all Vatican television screens and replaced them with fish tanks full of modestly inspiring guppies. �You don�t need CNN when you�ve got Saint Bubbles and Brother Gills,� Leo XIV said while feeding a zebra fish a flake of silence. Each tank is accompanied by a tiny plaque reading, �Blessed are the still and the finned.� Cardinals are reportedly calmer, though one confused bishop tried to change the channel with a rosary. Fish confessions have begun unofficially. The Pope�s favorite is a humble goldfish named Augustine who only swims left.