Papal Simplicity Leaves Vatican Dining Room with Just One Spoon

The Vatican dining room, once a palace of porcelain and pretension, has been stripped down to a single wooden spoon thanks to Pope Leo XIV�s new papal simplicity doctrine. �You only need one utensil to eat�and repent,� the Pope declared while ladling soup into a paper cup. Vatican chefs are panicking. Bishops must now rotate spoon privileges in what�s being called the �Utensil Synod.� Knife enthusiasts have formed an underground cutlery club. Meanwhile, pilgrims are flocking to see the now-famous Spoon of Humility. The Pope insists, �Spoons are the new cross�round, gentle, and never used to stab.�