Papal Simplicity Introduces Vatican Rule of Three Possessions

Pope Leo XIV has embraced a new doctrine: No Vatican official may own more than three personal items. His own? A toothbrush, a travel-size Bible, and a clay mug labeled �Grace Gulp.� When asked about undergarments, he replied, �Ask the laundry angel.� Bishops are now ranking possessions on holiness scales. The Holy See is down to one stapler and a pack of shared incense. The Pope insists �If Jesus traveled light, so can I.� The remaining tiaras have been donated to a traveling humility museum. Staff whisper reverently, �He�s the saint of less.�